Loss of husband of many years

[LoisG977191]

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy · Accepted solution]

@LoisG977191 , I am so sorry for your loss and I am ALWAYS here for you!!!

[1] To me, it is a DAILY journey and I have learn't to take 1 step at a time.

[2] Do you have anyone there with you? I don't but texting and calling my only child in Florida helps. I am in Virginia.

[3] We do have a DAILY CHAT THREAD and we would luv to have you join us when and IF you are interested.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share. ***]

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[SpringIsHereSoHappy · Accepted solution]

@LoisG977191 , THIS MAY HELP YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@AARPsneed wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

• The AARP  Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. ET.   
• The AARP Virtual Community Center  FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun. 
• Local AARP events — Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org
• Learning Library — Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org
• Senior Planet — For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org  
• Movies for Grownups — Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies
• Find articles and resources from experts - Help Guide on Grief & Loss 
• If you find yourself struggling with Isolation  
• A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing 
• Grief Support and Groups 
  Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you
  Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral. 
  Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

AARPSneed

AARP Social Response Team

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[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(4/29/24) @LoisG977191 , I am thinking of YOU!!! Nicole ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (FRIDAY 4/26/24)   @LoisG977191 , I am thinking of YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

You are so thougtful!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(FRIDAY 4/26/24) @LoisG977191 , hearing from YOU TODAY just made my day VERY SPECIAL.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

You are so thougtful! ***]

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[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

APRIL 2024-2 comments (Thursday 4/18/24)

How are you doing @LoisG977191 ?

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

Doing ok. Good days and bad ones. Sometimes memories trigger sadness and others generate a big smile.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(FRIDAY 4/26/24)  SO GOOD to hear from you @LoisG977191  💃💃💃

Yes my dear, my emotions have their own rollercoaster ride. But WE will get to a point where WE move forward, still missing our love ones - but making a new life.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Doing ok. Good days and bad ones. Sometimes memories trigger sadness and others generate a big smile. ***]

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[LoisG977191]

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy · Accepted solution]

(Thursday 4/19/24)

Oh YES @LoisG977191 , those "memories" - some days I am crying my eyes out, others I am okay.  👣  Keep stepping!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support. ***]

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[mc6844]

Lois, I'm so sorry for your loss. The missing is difficult and painful. I'm glad you're stopping in at the forum. Expressing your grief a little at a time will help to lighten your days. 

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much for your support and advice. I'm glad I joined this forum.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(Friday 4/19/24)

And we are SO GLAD you did @LoisG977191 , Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Thank you so much for your support and advice. I'm glad I joined this forum. ***]

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[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 , AARP offers us monthly FREE online "Grief & Loss" EVENTS for members and non-members. This is the LAST one for this month. Maybe it may help! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Check out this event:

Thursday, Apr 25, 2024. 11:30 a.m. ET , 10:30 a.m. CT , 9:30 a.m. MT , 8:30 a.m. PT. 90 minutes long.

🔊  How to Handle the Anger of Grief!

Gain insight on handling the emotions - the anger, hatred, terror, blame - that often follow devastating loss.

[LINK TO REGISTER BELOW]

https://local.aarp.org/vcc-event/virtual-aarp-tx-the-anger-of-grief-how-to-understand-embrace-and-re...

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

@LoisG977191 , here is OUR BOOK LIST @jonibee mentioned. That is a wonderful "suggestion" Jonibee!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

‌BOOK LIST (books read & recommended by Grief Forum members)  ‌📚‌

(1) So Sorry for Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns. Book by Dina Gachman.

(2) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(3) Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. Book by Martha Whitmore Hickman.

(4) The Love Never Ends (Messages from the Other Side ) by Sunny Dawn Johnson.

(5) The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O'Connor.

(6) When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner.

(7) The Widower's Notebook a memoir by Jonathan Santlofer.

(8) Mindfulness & Grief by Heather Stang.

(9) I Wasn't ready To Say Goodbye by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, PhD.

(10) Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond Moody Jr., M.D. and Dianne Arcangel.

(11) Different After You Rediscovering Yourself and Healing After Grief and Trauma by Michele Neff Hernandez.

(12) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(13) The Love Never Ends: Messages from the Other Side. Book by Sunny Dawn Johnston.

(14) Widow to Widow by Genevieve Ginsburg.

(15) Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

(16) Hello from Heaven: A New Field of Research-After-Death Communication Confirms That Life and Love Are Eternal. Book by Bill Guggenheim and Judy Guggenheim.

(17) When Your Spouse Dies, A Widow and Widower's Handbook by Othniel J. Seiden and Jane Bilett.

(18) On Death and Grieving: A Psychic Medium's Perspective. Jeffrey A. Wands.

(19) Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy · Accepted solution]

@LoisG977191 , I am so sorry for your loss and I am ALWAYS here for you!!!

[1] To me, it is a DAILY journey and I have learn't to take 1 step at a time.

[2] Do you have anyone there with you? I don't but texting and calling my only child in Florida helps. I am in Virginia.

[3] We do have a DAILY CHAT THREAD and we would luv to have you join us when and IF you are interested.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share. ***]

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[LoisG977191]

Thank you for your kindness. I do text my sister and son a great deal and have joined various community groups. It does help little by little. Bless you.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(Friday 4/19/24)

@LoisG977191 sounds like you are MOVING FORWARD!!!  💃💃💃  So PROUD of you, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Thank you for your kindness. I do text my sister and son a great deal and have joined various community groups. It does help little by little. Bless you. ***]

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[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much for all the advice!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(Monday 4/15/24)

You are welcome @LoisG977191 , Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Thank you so much for all the advice! ***]

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[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much!  Appreciate your support. I'm living alone but gave a sweet dog that helps me at times. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 you are WELCOME!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Jeremiah was my Walking Buddy and I do MISS him but not ready to replace him. A dog that was there for me.

SO GLAD you have a "furbaby"  🐕

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Thank you so much!  Appreciate your support. I'm living alone but gave a sweet dog that helps me at times. ***]

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[SpringIsHereSoHappy · Accepted solution]

@LoisG977191 , THIS MAY HELP YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@AARPsneed wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

• The AARP  Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. ET.   
• The AARP Virtual Community Center  FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun. 
• Local AARP events — Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org
• Learning Library — Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org
• Senior Planet — For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org  
• Movies for Grownups — Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies
• Find articles and resources from experts - Help Guide on Grief & Loss 
• If you find yourself struggling with Isolation  
• A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing 
• Grief Support and Groups 
  Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you
  Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral. 
  Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

AARPSneed

AARP Social Response Team

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