🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

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[NicoleW439658]

2 comments (9/15/23)

Hi Kristine:

I have days I want to RUN AWAY and use to when I was younger.

Gosh, gave up GOOD jobs too.

Now at age soon-to-be 65 this month, I am TOO OLD.

I talk to my only child, a daughter who CALMS me down.

I DO NOT trust strangers, so she is my ROCK.

Hmmm, nature soothes me and sounds like you ENJOY it.

Nicole 🤗

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✏@KM547318 wrote:

hello Nichole,

Yes I am approaching a 2 month anniversary and Im still looking to run away to get away from all the memories staying here in this house.  At my age that is ridiculous and probably a death sentence because of all the stress of moving

(plus losing my spouse). My daughter in law was here yesterday and helped throw out things. Is there any place to go to hide from the pain and confusion? Im thinking the outdoors help and maybe thats where I should be- gardening and such.  

Im sorry for all that are dealing with a loss. God helps us and so does this forum.✏

[KM547318]

hello Nichole,

Yes I am approaching a 2 month anniversary and Im still looking to run away to get away from all the memories staying here in this house.  At my age that is ridiculous and probably a death sentence because of all the stress of moving

(plus losing my spouse). My daughter in law was here yesterday and helped throw out things. Is there any place to go to hide from the pain and confusion? Im thinking the outdoors help and maybe thats where I should be- gardening and such.  

Im sorry for all that are dealing with a loss. God helps us and so does this forum.

[mc6844]

I agree about the outdoors. Just getting the air and the sun is such a blessing. Having a little patch of flowers or plants on patio or doorstep. It's an easy to manage diversion. I've moved probably for the last time. Too old to go through that again. And I'm reminded of what I read someplace "wherever you go you take yourself with you." It's what I told my kids. They never liked to hear it. Lol Regarding the decluttering I've already downsized. Gave the kids and their spouses all the stuff. 

[NicoleW439658]

One Step At A Time! 🤗

[Cadee2719]

Beautiful Nicole.   You are a love. ♥️

[BillH490171]

Good afternoon, hope you all are doing well today.  I went to a grief support meeting last week.  I was the only widower sitting with 6 widows.  They are all inspirational for me.  

The topic of loving someone again came up and several folks mentioned that they could not do that again because of the fear of losing someone again.  After thinking about this notion, it made me sad. 

How does that idea make you feel?

For me, I've got 25 years of great living left and I don't want to go it alone.

Bill

[JenniferB25215]

For me, down the road because he just passed a week ago, but I know i am going to be very lonely and would love someone to be with. My issue is I am well past physical desire, menopause took care of that. How can you look for a partner when you don't want sex...cuddling, sure...but not sex.

[MarcyW882921]

It may sound like an ideal plan for those who are grieving to say they are going to avoid love out of a fear of loss. However, there is a quote when it is read and thought through may bring up some potential issues with the plan.

"To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness." --Erich Fromm

We will all work through this in our own way so I think the important thing is how the idea makes you feel. 

Marcy

[BeatleloverKT]

I’ve been married twice. First one ended in 

divorce, second one when he passed. I don’t 

ever want to put my heart out there again. It’s 

been broken too many times, more then I can

count. I have many blessings in my life and

many who I love and love me. Just loving

another man is not in my plans. Best of luck

to you, I hope you find what you’re looking for 

[Cadee2719]

I am at a stage of my life that being married for 61 years was a blessing.  However, I no longer feel that I need a man in my life.  For the first time, I will discover who "I" am.  I always  tease my son saying "I do not wish to train another man."  🤣  You, Bill are young and I think it is important for men to have companionship and a partner to share their life with.    You have to complete your mourning, get emotionally strong again and put yourself out there.  I must admit "out there" is a frightening place in today's society.   I wish you much luck and happiness.

[NicoleW439658]

One Step At A Time! 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @ NicoleW439658 , Tomorrow will mark the 10-month anniversary of my husband's departure from his life here with us.🥲💔

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole @NicoleW439658 . I appreciate the hugs! 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

@MarcyW882921 Thinking of you on this difficult day. Hoping the good memories and prayers by us will guide you thru 💜🙏

[MarcyW882921]

Thank You BeatleloverKT @BeatleloverKT ! I truly appreciate your thoughtful support and I am going to get through this day.❤️🙏🏻

[NicoleW439658]

One Step At A Time! 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @NicoleW439658 , So far my only plan is to play tennis in the morning if the weather cooperates. I got rained out this morning and substituted an online Zumba class.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Z U M B A!!!!!   🤣  My classes are Balance, Beginner's Yoga, Classic with very light weights and stretch bands and Gentle Stretch.   YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[BillH490171]

Outstanding words of support and wisdom.  I friend of mine from the Netherlands told me "know that you never have that path to walk alone"  when I told him that my wife passed.  It true we're all walking hand in hand (in person or virtually).  Take care my friends..

Bill

[NicoleW439658]

One Step At A Time! 🤗

[mc6844]

Dates of remembrance, conversations etc. all bring out the grief of losses. Sometimes quite suddenly. I was talking to someone yesterday and I could've sworn I was talking and laughing with my deceased sister. Gone over 20 yrs now. My heart still hurts every time I think of her. I acknowledge these times of vulnerability, let the grief flow and get on with my day. It's hard to tell if I'm feeling sorry for those that are gone, or for myself. I don't like to dwell on the past. So pretty quickly get back to the present. But it might be a little easier at my age, 73. So much is in the past. I'm grateful to have peace. The days seem to take care of themselves.

[MarcyW882921]

Mc @mc6844 . Thanks for sharing this really important message. These things happen suddenly and we react or respond to them often without thinking or controlling. I love that you acknowledge your vulnerability and grief, but also don't dwell in that space. You mention getting back to the present and that is the mindfulness of bringing yourself into the moment.  Information about triggers, feelings, and coping strategies is so beneficial!

[Cadee2719]

Your message was a "gift" to me today.  Thank You so much for sharing your thoughts with us.  ❤️

[Vexed]

@BeatleloverKT , hugs to you. You are loved and you are strong. 

[NicoleW439658]

One Step At A Time! 🤗

[JaneCares]

HELLO BeatleLoverKT and NicoleW. I'm moved and grateful to you both for connecting, supporting, and sharing your kindness with all of us as well. For BeatleLover, this is a big milestone: 5 years of loss and grief, but also transformation. You are NEWLY reconstituted without your loved one, and at the same time, your husband's love, and character, and all those memories, are woven into every bit of who you are 5 years later. NicoleW, clearly you are working mightily to hold onto your integrity while other folks are being silly and hurtful (also known as toxic), and you know who you are deep down. That you two help each other is lovely and affirming of us all: we are herd animals, we humans, and we need each other.

I was listening to the sermon yesterday in church, which celebrated the idea of Jesus' transfiguration. And learned that Transfiguration implies a revelation of the true nature. I feel that grief does this: reveal our true nature. Grief burns off the superficial, and unimportant, the priorities we thought matter but actually do not. It reorients us to who we are and what we can be about in the world, and in our hearts. We are transfigured. 

Thank you for being 'there' for each other, and 'here' for all of us.

Jane

[Anonymous]

READ the comments and/or ADD a comment.

***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸clipart attached📸

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[Anonymous]

(1 comment) Thank you for the suggestion Marcy! 🤎🤗

▶️@MarcyW882921 wrote:

I just got back from my bereavement group meeting. Providing you can get out and there are groups in your area, it is another place where grieving people can go to be with others who understand.◀️

[MarcyW882921]

I just got back from my bereavement group meeting. Providing you can get out and there are groups in your area, it is another place where grieving people can go to be with others who understand.