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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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In Response to "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts":

  


“In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts”

 

No one knew. We never fought. Words won’t do. If not heard. Not tended to. Reflection was Pleasantville. It was not. Costly your affairs. Dealings without care. Missing was love. His actions hurt. My spirit lost.  Mental pain continued. How could he? What’s the point? No love present. Try some more. Felt so numb. Children needed us. Always-same repetitions. Change is not. What will be?

Life goes on. Close my eyes. I look away. Shield the children. Make a home. All that matters. They come first. Making no amends. Keeping it so. They needn’t know. Can they discern? Any hints felt? Do they see? Them, I’ll protect. 

Through the thick. Through the thin. Years I prayed. Nothing has altered. Now have understanding. Time has come. No more love. I hurt so. Blinders now off. My spirit impaired. Cannot give more. It is over. No more submissions. Not one more! On my part. It won’t help. It’s so unfair. One shouldn’t take. Acquire without debate. What of children? Do they matter? Do you worry? Do I matter? Do you care? Damage to all.   This is over. It is nevermore. Too much time. Has been wasted. Hurts so deep. Will they heal? I pray so. Help me Lord. Give me strength. I will follow. Where you lead.

It’s now years. So much time. How many sorrows? Time to tell. How to convey. They are precious. Innocence they are. Give me words. They will understand. Protection from unhappiness. Let them know. I’ll always be. I’ll always love. They did nothing. It couldn’t be. It is over. Years I tried. All is gone.  Nothing is left. My spirits dying. It shouldn’t be.  It has ended.  We’ll move on. We’ll be okay. Do they know? Let them heal. Give them understanding.

You’re no blame. It was he. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Tears by all. Instantaneously everything stopped. My children’s eyes. Held so much. How could he? He should know. Has he heart? I think not. Hurt us all. Make them whole. Fill them through. Love with meaning. I need strength. See me strong. I’ll carry on. Don’t you worry? We’ll make out. I’ll make sure. I’m so sorry. 

Settled our home. He still shadows. Wherever I turn.  There he looms.  Now he’s stocking. He threatens me. Take my children. He’s getting back. Retribution for leaving. Pray, move on. Leave us alone. Find your direction. Don’t you see? They hurt more. Your actions took. Their comforts away. Where’s their security? You’ve taken all. Pray, love them. Be a father. If you can. 

Seven years now. How many more. Let me be. Please move on. You didn’t care. When we were. Stop doing this. Move on please. Think of children. Where’s your regard? They are hurt. Put them first. If you can. Are you able?  

Took my children. I was sick. He conditioned all. He promised this. Remember, he warned. To take them. Leave me alone. To only myself. For leaving him. The door opened. When illness came. I am alone. Miss them so. Time stands still. Pain is harsh. Make me better. Make me whole. Need be complete. Want my children. 

Time gone by. I have memories. Mourning I feel. For my loss. I won’t forget. Where are you? Do you think? Do you remember? Mother to each. I love you. I miss you. Not a day. Without my thoughts. Not one lost. See in color. Hugs I remember. Laughter was loud. Smiles so bright. Never let go. I’ll be here. When you come. Soon, I pray.

A dozen years. All gone by. So long ago. Will you remember? Have you forgotten?   Miss you so.  Loves, remember me. I still see. I still hear. Feel your touch. Nothing is forgotten. All in memory. Will never lose.   Senses for you.  Each of you. I’ll not forget. Never will lose. Site of you. You’re my heart. It’ll always be. Hoping and Praying. Again to see. Each of you. Here I’ll be.

Come see me. I will wait. Time is right. Years gone by. More years added. Miss you still. Note was found. All you left.  Placed just so. Me to know.  Just months ago. All that time. I didn’t know. When I read. Tears I shed. Miss you more. Love you so. Words I’ll cherish. “Love You Mommy.” Signed by each. Each your love. Love you more.  Pleased don’t forget. I’m still Mommy. 

….RaeDi 

  

 

 

  this is so powerful it is hard to read at one sitting.


Thank you, Berta.  ((((hug))))

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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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Message 2 of 19
In Response to "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts":

  


“In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts”

 

No one knew. We never fought. Words won’t do. If not heard. Not tended to. Reflection was Pleasantville. It was not. Costly your affairs. Dealings without care. Missing was love. His actions hurt. My spirit lost.  Mental pain continued. How could he? What’s the point? No love present. Try some more. Felt so numb. Children needed us. Always-same repetitions. Change is not. What will be?

Life goes on. Close my eyes. I look away. Shield the children. Make a home. All that matters. They come first. Making no amends. Keeping it so. They needn’t know. Can they discern? Any hints felt? Do they see? Them, I’ll protect. 

Through the thick. Through the thin. Years I prayed. Nothing has altered. Now have understanding. Time has come. No more love. I hurt so. Blinders now off. My spirit impaired. Cannot give more. It is over. No more submissions. Not one more! On my part. It won’t help. It’s so unfair. One shouldn’t take. Acquire without debate. What of children? Do they matter? Do you worry? Do I matter? Do you care? Damage to all.   This is over. It is nevermore. Too much time. Has been wasted. Hurts so deep. Will they heal? I pray so. Help me Lord. Give me strength. I will follow. Where you lead.

It’s now years. So much time. How many sorrows? Time to tell. How to convey. They are precious. Innocence they are. Give me words. They will understand. Protection from unhappiness. Let them know. I’ll always be. I’ll always love. They did nothing. It couldn’t be. It is over. Years I tried. All is gone.  Nothing is left. My spirits dying. It shouldn’t be.  It has ended.  We’ll move on. We’ll be okay. Do they know? Let them heal. Give them understanding.

You’re no blame. It was he. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Tears by all. Instantaneously everything stopped. My children’s eyes. Held so much. How could he? He should know. Has he heart? I think not. Hurt us all. Make them whole. Fill them through. Love with meaning. I need strength. See me strong. I’ll carry on. Don’t you worry? We’ll make out. I’ll make sure. I’m so sorry. 

Settled our home. He still shadows. Wherever I turn.  There he looms.  Now he’s stocking. He threatens me. Take my children. He’s getting back. Retribution for leaving. Pray, move on. Leave us alone. Find your direction. Don’t you see? They hurt more. Your actions took. Their comforts away. Where’s their security? You’ve taken all. Pray, love them. Be a father. If you can. 

Seven years now. How many more. Let me be. Please move on. You didn’t care. When we were. Stop doing this. Move on please. Think of children. Where’s your regard? They are hurt. Put them first. If you can. Are you able?  

Took my children. I was sick. He conditioned all. He promised this. Remember, he warned. To take them. Leave me alone. To only myself. For leaving him. The door opened. When illness came. I am alone. Miss them so. Time stands still. Pain is harsh. Make me better. Make me whole. Need be complete. Want my children. 

Time gone by. I have memories. Mourning I feel. For my loss. I won’t forget. Where are you? Do you think? Do you remember? Mother to each. I love you. I miss you. Not a day. Without my thoughts. Not one lost. See in color. Hugs I remember. Laughter was loud. Smiles so bright. Never let go. I’ll be here. When you come. Soon, I pray.

A dozen years. All gone by. So long ago. Will you remember? Have you forgotten?   Miss you so.  Loves, remember me. I still see. I still hear. Feel your touch. Nothing is forgotten. All in memory. Will never lose.   Senses for you.  Each of you. I’ll not forget. Never will lose. Site of you. You’re my heart. It’ll always be. Hoping and Praying. Again to see. Each of you. Here I’ll be.

Come see me. I will wait. Time is right. Years gone by. More years added. Miss you still. Note was found. All you left.  Placed just so. Me to know.  Just months ago. All that time. I didn’t know. When I read. Tears I shed. Miss you more. Love you so. Words I’ll cherish. “Love You Mommy.” Signed by each. Each your love. Love you more.  Pleased don’t forget. I’m still Mommy. 

….RaeDi 

  

 

 

  Wow! My dear friend. Such pain love brings. I've said a prayer for you today. Berta

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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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Message 3 of 19
In Response to "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts":

  


“In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts”

 

No one knew. We never fought. Words won’t do. If not heard. Not tended to. Reflection was Pleasantville. It was not. Costly your affairs. Dealings without care. Missing was love. His actions hurt. My spirit lost.  Mental pain continued. How could he? What’s the point? No love present. Try some more. Felt so numb. Children needed us. Always-same repetitions. Change is not. What will be?

Life goes on. Close my eyes. I look away. Shield the children. Make a home. All that matters. They come first. Making no amends. Keeping it so. They needn’t know. Can they discern? Any hints felt? Do they see? Them, I’ll protect. 

Through the thick. Through the thin. Years I prayed. Nothing has altered. Now have understanding. Time has come. No more love. I hurt so. Blinders now off. My spirit impaired. Cannot give more. It is over. No more submissions. Not one more! On my part. It won’t help. It’s so unfair. One shouldn’t take. Acquire without debate. What of children? Do they matter? Do you worry? Do I matter? Do you care? Damage to all.   This is over. It is nevermore. Too much time. Has been wasted. Hurts so deep. Will they heal? I pray so. Help me Lord. Give me strength. I will follow. Where you lead.

It’s now years. So much time. How many sorrows? Time to tell. How to convey. They are precious. Innocence they are. Give me words. They will understand. Protection from unhappiness. Let them know. I’ll always be. I’ll always love. They did nothing. It couldn’t be. It is over. Years I tried. All is gone.  Nothing is left. My spirits dying. It shouldn’t be.  It has ended.  We’ll move on. We’ll be okay. Do they know? Let them heal. Give them understanding.

You’re no blame. It was he. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Tears by all. Instantaneously everything stopped. My children’s eyes. Held so much. How could he? He should know. Has he heart? I think not. Hurt us all. Make them whole. Fill them through. Love with meaning. I need strength. See me strong. I’ll carry on. Don’t you worry? We’ll make out. I’ll make sure. I’m so sorry. 

Settled our home. He still shadows. Wherever I turn.  There he looms.  Now he’s stocking. He threatens me. Take my children. He’s getting back. Retribution for leaving. Pray, move on. Leave us alone. Find your direction. Don’t you see? They hurt more. Your actions took. Their comforts away. Where’s their security? You’ve taken all. Pray, love them. Be a father. If you can. 

Seven years now. How many more. Let me be. Please move on. You didn’t care. When we were. Stop doing this. Move on please. Think of children. Where’s your regard? They are hurt. Put them first. If you can. Are you able?  

Took my children. I was sick. He conditioned all. He promised this. Remember, he warned. To take them. Leave me alone. To only myself. For leaving him. The door opened. When illness came. I am alone. Miss them so. Time stands still. Pain is harsh. Make me better. Make me whole. Need be complete. Want my children. 

Time gone by. I have memories. Mourning I feel. For my loss. I won’t forget. Where are you? Do you think? Do you remember? Mother to each. I love you. I miss you. Not a day. Without my thoughts. Not one lost. See in color. Hugs I remember. Laughter was loud. Smiles so bright. Never let go. I’ll be here. When you come. Soon, I pray.

A dozen years. All gone by. So long ago. Will you remember? Have you forgotten?   Miss you so.  Loves, remember me. I still see. I still hear. Feel your touch. Nothing is forgotten. All in memory. Will never lose.   Senses for you.  Each of you. I’ll not forget. Never will lose. Site of you. You’re my heart. It’ll always be. Hoping and Praying. Again to see. Each of you. Here I’ll be.

Come see me. I will wait. Time is right. Years gone by. More years added. Miss you still. Note was found. All you left.  Placed just so. Me to know.  Just months ago. All that time. I didn’t know. When I read. Tears I shed. Miss you more. Love you so. Words I’ll cherish. “Love You Mommy.” Signed by each. Each your love. Love you more.  Pleased don’t forget. I’m still Mommy. 

….RaeDi 

  

 

 

  RaeDi


No matter how long ago this happened (whether days, months, or years ago), the moment for you is still now and it resonates in your piece.  What a powerful ache you feel.   I hope writing about it helped a bit. 

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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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Message 4 of 19
In Response to "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts":

  


“In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts”

 

No one knew. We never fought. Words won’t do. If not heard. Not tended to. Reflection was Pleasantville. It was not. Costly your affairs. Dealings without care. Missing was love. His actions hurt. My spirit lost.  Mental pain continued. How could he? What’s the point? No love present. Try some more. Felt so numb. Children needed us. Always-same repetitions. Change is not. What will be?

Life goes on. Close my eyes. I look away. Shield the children. Make a home. All that matters. They come first. Making no amends. Keeping it so. They needn’t know. Can they discern? Any hints felt? Do they see? Them, I’ll protect. 

Through the thick. Through the thin. Years I prayed. Nothing has altered. Now have understanding. Time has come. No more love. I hurt so. Blinders now off. My spirit impaired. Cannot give more. It is over. No more submissions. Not one more! On my part. It won’t help. It’s so unfair. One shouldn’t take. Acquire without debate. What of children? Do they matter? Do you worry? Do I matter? Do you care? Damage to all.   This is over. It is nevermore. Too much time. Has been wasted. Hurts so deep. Will they heal? I pray so. Help me Lord. Give me strength. I will follow. Where you lead.

It’s now years. So much time. How many sorrows? Time to tell. How to convey. They are precious. Innocence they are. Give me words. They will understand. Protection from unhappiness. Let them know. I’ll always be. I’ll always love. They did nothing. It couldn’t be. It is over. Years I tried. All is gone.  Nothing is left. My spirits dying. It shouldn’t be.  It has ended.  We’ll move on. We’ll be okay. Do they know? Let them heal. Give them understanding.

You’re no blame. It was he. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Tears by all. Instantaneously everything stopped. My children’s eyes. Held so much. How could he? He should know. Has he heart? I think not. Hurt us all. Make them whole. Fill them through. Love with meaning. I need strength. See me strong. I’ll carry on. Don’t you worry? We’ll make out. I’ll make sure. I’m so sorry. 

Settled our home. He still shadows. Wherever I turn.  There he looms.  Now he’s stocking. He threatens me. Take my children. He’s getting back. Retribution for leaving. Pray, move on. Leave us alone. Find your direction. Don’t you see? They hurt more. Your actions took. Their comforts away. Where’s their security? You’ve taken all. Pray, love them. Be a father. If you can. 

Seven years now. How many more. Let me be. Please move on. You didn’t care. When we were. Stop doing this. Move on please. Think of children. Where’s your regard? They are hurt. Put them first. If you can. Are you able?  

Took my children. I was sick. He conditioned all. He promised this. Remember, he warned. To take them. Leave me alone. To only myself. For leaving him. The door opened. When illness came. I am alone. Miss them so. Time stands still. Pain is harsh. Make me better. Make me whole. Need be complete. Want my children. 

Time gone by. I have memories. Mourning I feel. For my loss. I won’t forget. Where are you? Do you think? Do you remember? Mother to each. I love you. I miss you. Not a day. Without my thoughts. Not one lost. See in color. Hugs I remember. Laughter was loud. Smiles so bright. Never let go. I’ll be here. When you come. Soon, I pray.

A dozen years. All gone by. So long ago. Will you remember? Have you forgotten?   Miss you so.  Loves, remember me. I still see. I still hear. Feel your touch. Nothing is forgotten. All in memory. Will never lose.   Senses for you.  Each of you. I’ll not forget. Never will lose. Site of you. You’re my heart. It’ll always be. Hoping and Praying. Again to see. Each of you. Here I’ll be.

Come see me. I will wait. Time is right. Years gone by. More years added. Miss you still. Note was found. All you left.  Placed just so. Me to know.  Just months ago. All that time. I didn’t know. When I read. Tears I shed. Miss you more. Love you so. Words I’ll cherish. “Love You Mommy.” Signed by each. Each your love. Love you more.  Pleased don’t forget. I’m still Mommy. 

….RaeDi 

  

 

 

All I can say is, Wow. This is my second attempt to reply to your post, so if you see double, it isn't you, it's me!  Sorry.


Anyway, what I wanted to say was how I was touched by your story written in 3-word sentences...I almost forgot that you were following directions set out by Abigail.  It was so well done that I hardly noticed any typos except these two:


Change: "My spirits dying" to My spirit's dying.


Change: "Now he's stocking" to Now he's stalking.


I also can relate to a lot of this, being a mother of three, feeling alone a lot of the time.  Thank you for being so transparent, one of the beautiful keys to healing.  Bravo!

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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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  RaeDi,


I was touched!  You win!  This was excellent and I felt your pain and your love - - the two edged sword!


Keep writing!


Sasebone

   My New Friend Sasebone,  You are so sweet, and the two edged sword it does get sharper with time.  I didn't win, we all win if we learn how to put words together and make a story, I want so to be a writer!  Maybe I'm fooling myself.  Maybe I'll write one day - but I do think of my children being very close to me several times a day.  When I sign my pen name ....RaeDi - the four periods in front of my name are for the four periods of time that I gave birth to each one of my children.  They will always be right there with me, in front of me.  Thank you so very much.  Your Friend with love and hugs....RaeDi

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re: "In Three Words or Three Lifetimes, It Still Hurts"

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Wow!  Your story, in three words only, made me cry.  It told everything.  What a writer you are! 

 Thank you much! In three words.  I really do hope to become a writer.  I have a long ways to go my friend.  I am going to post a journal I wrote that shows that I still have many blessings, I'm still waiting for my children, I'll never stop waiting, but my eldest he's in my life and he has tried to bless me this pass few years and did a good job of it!  Your Friend....RaeDi

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  Powerful, strong and deeply moving.  It just proves that wounds cannot heal without closure.  Wounds cannot heal without touching the heart.


As usual RaeDi, you've blown me away.


Nikki 

   Dear Nikki,  Thank you for your kind words again.  I love you so much.  Closure, time hopefully will give me that.  I wonder what is in my children's hearts.  I hope they saved a little room for me and our memories.  You know that my eldest son - he was much older than he's siblings, he left his father and wasn't with them when they moved on.  He losted his siblings and a father.  I am going to post a journal in this group to show that life is not all pain.   Andrew is trying to help mend my heart.  I wish I could help mend his heart too....RaeDi

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Message 8 of 19
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  Rae1tom,


All I can say is wow. This is a very powerful piece here.

   Dear Rebel Snake,  Thank you, the power will come when we have a society and legal system that puts the children first and makes it hard on mother's and father's that run away with the kids and the systems.  This state, Washington has a case in front of our Superior Court, a mother lost her children in the legal system because she had no money for an attorney and her husband had all the money and took everything from her.  This happens everyday.  The case being heard is that everyone going into the courts could have legal council, not just paid  for criminals.  I believe children should have legal council too.  That is where my ex got me, I couldn't work and he went through two of my lawyers in less than a year.  I had to stand infront of a judge without an attorney and my husband's attorney represented my husband he didn't even have to be their.  It was after the case and I will say the Judge was on my side, told me when I had the money for an attorney to come back to court and the case would be heard by him again.  It was after that my ex wouldn't allow the kids to talk with me and didn't give them my letters and packages, told them I didn't love them anymore - that is why they weren't getting calls and letters and such.  She doesn't love you anymore.  Then after time they moved on and didn't tell me where.  Pray for all the children....RaeDi

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  Rae. My sister.


I wish that I could hug away your pain. I felt every line, every pause, every heaved sigh. So much pain, yet so much hope. I truly cannot imagine having my children taken from me. But somehow by the grace of God, you SURVIVED...And you still have this awesome capacity to love - this is grace.You must give a copy to your children. They must know. They must know.


I love you sis.


Hugz,


NV

   Dear Cutie,  Thank you for such kind and loving words.  You know me,  I miss them so much, but I learned after mourning so many years that I had to move on and hope and pray that they would return.  Not a minute of an hour of an day of a week of a month of a year times fifteen have I lost my love for them, I've only gained more, I'm saving it for when we meet again.  Your Friend with love and hugs....RaeDi

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  Thank you RaeDi.  Mothers are eternal.


OLM

   Dear OLM,  Thank you so very much.  Yes Mother's are eternal.  But their are a lot of Fathers in my same situation.  We'll keep all our children in our prayers.  All you can do is put on foot in front of the other and hope and pray that you'll see them again someday.  I know I loved them as much as anyone could.  I  know I was there for them each step of the way until they left.  Your Friend....RaeDi

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