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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 1 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




  I really can relate to this topic

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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 2 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




Sharing this painful part of your life must have been hard, but also very giving. You never know who may be out there and your words may have helped them through this or may help someone stand up for themselves and realize as you did there is more to live for than the love of someone who doesn't know how to love you. 


Your mother must have been very proud of you. 


God Bless 

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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 3 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




  The power and importance of family is the message I took away
from your experience.  I needed to be reminded of this message,
and you have inspired me.


Thank  you,


OLM

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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 4 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




 



I am impressed and moved
by your honesty, and the unvarnished way you write about
this  very painful time in your life. I'm also glad you're here.



I think most of us have had
moments when we've done something shameful we hadn't thought
ourselves capable of. It takes guts to face these moments, and
courage to write about them.



Thank you for this piece, and welcome.



Abigail

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Message 5 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




  Your story is heartfelt and extremely well written. 
Writing will give you peace and we might get the next great
author!  That's a deal you can't refuse.


Nikki

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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 6 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




 


When your child is hurting, no matter what the age, it hurts parents
to see this and not be able to "fix it".  I have a
child like this right now, and it is painful.  All the prayers in
the world did not change the route she took.  Now, I am hopeful
she is seeing the light and will rescue what is left of her time here
on earth.


Thanks for the raw topic.  These are the stories that all need
to be told.  I'm thankful to hear you are on the right track now
and your mom lived long enough to experience your change.  A good
share story!  Keep writing....


Sasebone

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Message 7 of 12
In Response to post:

  How do I post a memoir on this same subject. I can't quite
get it yet.




  All you have to do is hit the "New Topic" button.



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Message 8 of 12
In Response to post:

  BTW, your piece is beautifully transparent. I loved it. Keep writing.




  Thank you very much. This is the first time I've ever tried
anything like this.



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Message 9 of 12
In Response to post:

  How do I post a memoir on this same subject. I can't quite
get it yet.




  BTW, your piece is beautifully transparent. I loved it. Keep writing.



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re: My Mother's Face

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Message 10 of 12
In Response to My Mother's Face
:

  Some years back when I was thirty-five I hit a  rough
patch in my life so to speak that led to me attempting suicide. My
"girlfriend" at the time was  slowly removing herself
from my life and I understandibly didn't like it one little bit. One
afternoon during this period she came by my place to collect some of
her things. I had it in my head that I was going to sit her down and
tell her what was on my mind, how I felt and how I wanted things to
go. Well needless to say my little plan didn't come out like I
had  planned. She only wanted to get out of there and I didn't
want her to go. So I wound up grabbing her around her middle and tried
to make her stay and listen to what I had to say. If she would only
listen then everything would be alright and we could live happily ever
after, or so I told myself. She managed to break away and escape from
my presence and the next day she showed me the bruises I had left on
her arms. Now she was a woman if you looked at her hard she would
bruise. That didn't matter though. I had done something I had not
thought myself capable of. I had physically hurt someone I cared
about. Something inside me snapped that day. A couple of days later i
swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and called a woman I knew
to tell her goodbye. She had her husband call 911 when I told her what
I had done. It didn't take long for the police or the paramedics to
get there and they rushed me to the hospital with sirens blaring. Most
of  that night is a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces of
it. I did wake up at one point though, strapped down with all manner
of wires hooked up to me, to see my mother looking down at me. Even
though I was out of my mind at the time and wound up passing out after
only a minute or two, I will never forget the look on my mother's face
that night.as I lay on that gurney. Even now it's still as clear as a
bell. I could see the pain on her face as she looked down at her
oldest son laying there not knowing if I was going to live or die. My
memory never has been worth a damn. But it wouldn't matter if I lived
to be a thousand I will never be able to forget her face that night. I
don't want  to forget it either. This is something I'm going to
have to live with for the rest of my life. I am grateful for one thing
though. She did live long enough to see me straighten my life out and
get married. She got to see me become a father and she got to hold her
grandson before she died.




  How do I post a memoir on this same subject. I can't quite
get it yet.



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