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BEAUTY  BENEATH THE F.A.T. (Face yourself --Accept yourself--Transform yourself--  Dorcas C Chandler



Chapter One

Facing yourself


What is it like to look into the mirror of your life and see your flaws and failures without recognizing, love, beauty, talents and gifts you possess?  When facing one’s self it can be a somewhat scary, intimidating and frustrating journey.  Why?  It is easier for some to look at other people’s shortcomings rather than to deal with their own.  

It usually doesn’t take people long to diagnose problems of other people, because of their expertise of viewing and judging people, instead of spending time of self-examination.

When viewing someone else’s life’s issues, struggles and difficulties, we must be careful. Criticism of others is like a big beam of wood, magnified through one’s own eyes when viewing the flaws of another.  Sometimes, people have a larger splinter in their own eyes, causing them to be unable to face themselves.

When we are confronted with life’s changes and unannounced situations, it sometimes forces us to take a closer look and deal with self.  Life shifts, circumstances change, wealth can increase or decrease, health can fail, we can lose loved ones, we can face a weight loss or a weight gain, and then what? 

Then there becomes a new awakening or paradigm. Life has dictated change.  It is usually then that we finally understand we cannot outrun life’s circumstances without eventually running into self or God. This is when we have to face ourselves. 

When you’re facing the mirror of life, who do you really see?  Have you ever stopped, looked, and wondered if you know the person looking at you in the mirror?  Or is your focus always on another person? Has trauma taken away something you really loved, and you questioned “why?”

Then, you finally realize you will never get it back again—it’s over! Do you have questions with no answers, tears with lots of pain, or maybe recognize you need to make a change at this stage of your life? Regardless of the road or curves in the journey we walk and talk, change is inevitable; it comes to all of us. One thing about change, it takes repositioning our focus, hard work, perseverance, time and discipline.

When we embrace facing ourselves and change, we must be willing to be honest and open with ourselves.  The biggest setback in facing ourselves and making changes in our lives of any significance comes from the lies we tell ourselves.  Lying to oneself slows down the process of change, recovery and healing.

I once knew a person who had so many problems in life. There were times you didn’t want to be around her.  There was always a sad story, but when you asked how she was doing, the response was always “I am okay, doing great.” 

I wonder why people have to put on a happy face when their world is literally crumbling around them. Their inner conversations are displayed on the outside, no matter how hard they try to hide who they are.


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