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re: David....

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Hello,  This is wonderful, but at the same time it pulls at my heart.  I am one of those that has fought for those that have not, or are mistreated and such.  When I was going through a very trying part of my life, people asked me how I could have a smile on my face and make it through.  I told them I thought I was building character.  Now I don't know if the character was what was giving me strength to go straight ahead or if I become one of those very characterized people that one reads about or one who is thought of as a strange type person.  But I'm me and you know, I feel that your road to this place in time, was one hard road and not many would make it intact.  You my dear seem to have made it,  your words are filled with courage and strength,  I love to see both of these in a person, it makes them more well rounded of a soul.  Thank you for sharing.  Your Friend with love and hugs....RaeDi 

Rae Di....Thank you.... Years of therapy.... and I am still in therapy...an unexamined life; especially one as horrible and one that, at the time, bordered on  the mystery, or  sci-fi as mine did; a life such as that, needs to be analyzed.  I can't go back and change it, I can not un-do the choices I made in my life because of the childhood traumas, terrors and things that were "broken" in my childhood that made me a damaged "walking wounded" adult. I can't fix anything, but in revisiting the memories, from a safer place, from a stronger place; I take them into the daylight and expose them to the sun.  There is healing in the sunlight, only warmth and no shadows to hide and bury secrets.

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re: David....

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When I was finally allowed to come out of my room and be among the other prisoners of the penguines, I discovered that some newbies had arrived.  One of them was a very sad little fellow that sat in the window ledge by the front door and wouldn't leave.  He  even had to be carried out and hauled up to bed at night, screaming and crying all the way, for such a frail little boy he gave them quite a fight!


As much as I admired his spunk, I really doubted he'd last long.  I noticed that he never left the window ledge to eat, and the penguines didn't make him go, probably didn't mind if he got weak from no food.  So I thought I'd take some out to him, see if they minded that. I admired him and anyone who was fighting back was okay with me, and I hated them, so both driving forces were too much for me to resist!


I found out that he was waiting there for his mother to come and get him.  The last thing she had said to him when she left him there was, "I'll be back!"  I asked him if he was just going to sit here all the time and wait, I mean maybe she had some other stuff to do, he could do some other stuff to until she came, you know like eat, and there was some pretty cool toys and........ but "no" he said, he was going to wait for her. Dumb kid, I thought. Poor sucker.


So I thought, okay, I will bring the toys to him, so I did!  We played checkers, and cards and stuff that we could play, in the window seat and we talked and I told him some of the rules and I told him how he could go up to bed nicely and how to sneak down, after the penguines went to bed and wait by the door, but how, that was probably not really worth it because "moms" never came till daylight.  I had it all figured out, and it took some doing and some talking but he started eating, sleeping and even in his own bed and even all night!  And we were best friends for a while, but he still waited for his mom, and I knew she wasn't coming back, because I knew the truth about adults, they all lied.  You can't trust any of them, not even Grandmothers.


One day he wasn't in the window seat, when I came to bring him his food, and just as I was about to look for him, the head penguine's office door opened and out he comes, all dressed up and the evil one's claws in his shoulder, with her yellow teeth showing, as she smiles at these people.  A young couple! They are smiling and shaking hands with the evil one......David is crying......he runs to me, throws his arms around me and tells me to watch for his mom, and tell her when she comes that he has been adopted by Mr and Mrs Thomas Adams, he says here's the address and sticks a piece of paper in my hand.  "Don't let her see!", he says. I know he means the evil one. 


I give him a kiss, and say "I'm so happy for you! ", out loud, so the evil one can hear and whisper in his ear, don't worry, I'll wait for your mom, I'll tell her.


I watch as David leaves with his new family.  I'm sitting in the  window seat by the front door, eating the breakfast that I had brought for the two of us and once again it's just me, all by myself.  I shuffle the deck of cards i brought to play with. For "us" to play with, but again there is no "us". Just me, alone again.  It's no good to get friends, they just go away, it's not their fault, it just happens, they move, I move, people come and take them away, or take me away.  No body stays anywhere very long.  It's just best not to get too close, but for today I just cry.  Because it hurts to lose my friend, David.


 

Hello,  This is wonderful, but at the same time it pulls at my heart.  I am one of those that has fought for those that have not, or are mistreated and such.  When I was going through a very trying part of my life, people asked me how I could have a smile on my face and make it through.  I told them I thought I was building character.  Now I don't know if the character was what was giving me strength to go straight ahead or if I become one of those very characterized people that one reads about or one who is thought of as a strange type person.  But I'm me and you know, I feel that your road to this place in time, was one hard road and not many would make it intact.  You my dear seem to have made it,  your words are filled with courage and strength,  I love to see both of these in a person, it makes them more well rounded of a soul.  Thank you for sharing.  Your Friend with love and hugs....RaeDi 

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re: David....

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Message 3 of 5
In Response to David....:

When I was finally allowed to come out of my room and be among the other prisoners of the penguines, I discovered that some newbies had arrived.  One of them was a very sad little fellow that sat in the window ledge by the front door and wouldn't leave.  He  even had to be carried out and hauled up to bed at night, screaming and crying all the way, for such a frail little boy he gave them quite a fight!


As much as I admired his spunk, I really doubted he'd last long.  I noticed that he never left the window ledge to eat, and the penguines didn't make him go, probably didn't mind if he got weak from no food.  So I thought I'd take some out to him, see if they minded that. I admired him and anyone who was fighting back was okay with me, and I hated them, so both driving forces were too much for me to resist!


I found out that he was waiting there for his mother to come and get him.  The last thing she had said to him when she left him there was, "I'll be back!"  I asked him if he was just going to sit here all the time and wait, I mean maybe she had some other stuff to do, he could do some other stuff to until she came, you know like eat, and there was some pretty cool toys and........ but "no" he said, he was going to wait for her. Dumb kid, I thought. Poor sucker.


So I thought, okay, I will bring the toys to him, so I did!  We played checkers, and cards and stuff that we could play, in the window seat and we talked and I told him some of the rules and I told him how he could go up to bed nicely and how to sneak down, after the penguines went to bed and wait by the door, but how, that was probably not really worth it because "moms" never came till daylight.  I had it all figured out, and it took some doing and some talking but he started eating, sleeping and even in his own bed and even all night!  And we were best friends for a while, but he still waited for his mom, and I knew she wasn't coming back, because I knew the truth about adults, they all lied.  You can't trust any of them, not even Grandmothers.


One day he wasn't in the window seat, when I came to bring him his food, and just as I was about to look for him, the head penguine's office door opened and out he comes, all dressed up and the evil one's claws in his shoulder, with her yellow teeth showing, as she smiles at these people.  A young couple! They are smiling and shaking hands with the evil one......David is crying......he runs to me, throws his arms around me and tells me to watch for his mom, and tell her when she comes that he has been adopted by Mr and Mrs Thomas Adams, he says here's the address and sticks a piece of paper in my hand.  "Don't let her see!", he says. I know he means the evil one. 


I give him a kiss, and say "I'm so happy for you! ", out loud, so the evil one can hear and whisper in his ear, don't worry, I'll wait for your mom, I'll tell her.


I watch as David leaves with his new family.  I'm sitting in the  window seat by the front door, eating the breakfast that I had brought for the two of us and once again it's just me, all by myself.  I shuffle the deck of cards i brought to play with. For "us" to play with, but again there is no "us". Just me, alone again.  It's no good to get friends, they just go away, it's not their fault, it just happens, they move, I move, people come and take them away, or take me away.  No body stays anywhere very long.  It's just best not to get too close, but for today I just cry.  Because it hurts to lose my friend, David.


 

Wow! Such pain in your words. I cried too. I've never known a foster but thought I understood the life. I'm so wrong. My heart breaks. Thank you for opening my eyes. I'll never be the same.

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David....

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When I was finally allowed to come out of my room and be among the other prisoners of the penguines, I discovered that some newbies had arrived.  One of them was a very sad little fellow that sat in the window ledge by the front door and wouldn't leave.  He  even had to be carried out and hauled up to bed at night, screaming and crying all the way, for such a frail little boy he gave them quite a fight!


As much as I admired his spunk, I really doubted he'd last long.  I noticed that he never left the window ledge to eat, and the penguines didn't make him go, probably didn't mind if he got weak from no food.  So I thought I'd take some out to him, see if they minded that. I admired him and anyone who was fighting back was okay with me, and I hated them, so both driving forces were too much for me to resist!


I found out that he was waiting there for his mother to come and get him.  The last thing she had said to him when she left him there was, "I'll be back!"  I asked him if he was just going to sit here all the time and wait, I mean maybe she had some other stuff to do, he could do some other stuff to until she came, you know like eat, and there was some pretty cool toys and........ but "no" he said, he was going to wait for her. Dumb kid, I thought. Poor sucker.


So I thought, okay, I will bring the toys to him, so I did!  We played checkers, and cards and stuff that we could play, in the window seat and we talked and I told him some of the rules and I told him how he could go up to bed nicely and how to sneak down, after the penguines went to bed and wait by the door, but how, that was probably not really worth it because "moms" never came till daylight.  I had it all figured out, and it took some doing and some talking but he started eating, sleeping and even in his own bed and even all night!  And we were best friends for a while, but he still waited for his mom, and I knew she wasn't coming back, because I knew the truth about adults, they all lied.  You can't trust any of them, not even Grandmothers.


One day he wasn't in the window seat, when I came to bring him his food, and just as I was about to look for him, the head penguine's office door opened and out he comes, all dressed up and the evil one's claws in his shoulder, with her yellow teeth showing, as she smiles at these people.  A young couple! They are smiling and shaking hands with the evil one......David is crying......he runs to me, throws his arms around me and tells me to watch for his mom, and tell her when she comes that he has been adopted by Mr and Mrs Thomas Adams, he says here's the address and sticks a piece of paper in my hand.  "Don't let her see!", he says. I know he means the evil one. 


I give him a kiss, and say "I'm so happy for you! ", out loud, so the evil one can hear and whisper in his ear, don't worry, I'll wait for your mom, I'll tell her.


I watch as David leaves with his new family.  I'm sitting in the  window seat by the front door, eating the breakfast that I had brought for the two of us and once again it's just me, all by myself.  I shuffle the deck of cards i brought to play with. For "us" to play with, but again there is no "us". Just me, alone again.  It's no good to get friends, they just go away, it's not their fault, it just happens, they move, I move, people come and take them away, or take me away.  No body stays anywhere very long.  It's just best not to get too close, but for today I just cry.  Because it hurts to lose my friend, David.


 

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David....

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Message 4 of 5

When I was finally allowed to come out of my room and be among the other prisoners of the penguines, I discovered that some newbies had arrived.  One of them was a very sad little fellow that sat in the window ledge by the front door and wouldn't leave.  He  even had to be carried out and hauled up to bed at night, screaming and crying all the way, for such a frail little boy he gave them quite a fight!


As much as I admired his spunk, I really doubted he'd last long.  I noticed that he never left the window ledge to eat, and the penguines didn't make him go, probably didn't mind if he got weak from no food.  So I thought I'd take some out to him, see if they minded that. I admired him and anyone who was fighting back was okay with me, and I hated them, so both driving forces were too much for me to resist!


I found out that he was waiting there for his mother to come and get him.  The last thing she had said to him when she left him there was, "I'll be back!"  I asked him if he was just going to sit here all the time and wait, I mean maybe she had some other stuff to do, he could do some other stuff to until she came, you know like eat, and there was some pretty cool toys and........ but "no" he said, he was going to wait for her. Dumb kid, I thought. Poor sucker.


So I thought, okay, I will bring the toys to him, so I did!  We played checkers, and cards and stuff that we could play, in the window seat and we talked and I told him some of the rules and I told him how he could go up to bed nicely and how to sneak down, after the penguines went to bed and wait by the door, but how, that was probably not really worth it because "moms" never came till daylight.  I had it all figured out, and it took some doing and some talking but he started eating, sleeping and even in his own bed and even all night!  And we were best friends for a while, but he still waited for his mom, and I knew she wasn't coming back, because I knew the truth about adults, they all lied.  You can't trust any of them, not even Grandmothers.


One day he wasn't in the window seat, when I came to bring him his food, and just as I was about to look for him, the head penguine's office door opened and out he comes, all dressed up and the evil one's claws in his shoulder, with her yellow teeth showing, as she smiles at these people.  A young couple! They are smiling and shaking hands with the evil one......David is crying......he runs to me, throws his arms around me and tells me to watch for his mom, and tell her when she comes that he has been adopted by Mr and Mrs Thomas Adams, he says here's the address and sticks a piece of paper in my hand.  "Don't let her see!", he says. I know he means the evil one. 


I give him a kiss, and say "I'm so happy for you! ", out loud, so the evil one can hear and whisper in his ear, don't worry, I'll wait for your mom, I'll tell her.


I watch as David leaves with his new family.  I'm sitting in the  window seat by the front door, eating the breakfast that I had brought for the two of us and once again it's just me, all by myself.  I shuffle the deck of cards i brought to play with. For "us" to play with, but again there is no "us". Just me, alone again.  It's no good to get friends, they just go away, it's not their fault, it just happens, they move, I move, people come and take them away, or take me away.  No body stays anywhere very long.  It's just best not to get too close, but for today I just cry.  Because it hurts to lose my friend, David.


 

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