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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Thank you for your nice comments fyrishbhai1. It took me a long time to talk about this sad memory, it became easier after I put it on writing. We were in contact with Ray kids for a long time until they moved far away and all communication stopped which is sad. I posted several of my childhood memoirs but I don't do it very often lately because I find the new AARP website difficult to navigate. Greetings. Sara
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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Hello:
Such a well written and truly sad story. You have truly loved " Ray"... I am just curious whatever happened to Ray kids? Do you keep in touch with them? Thanks so much for sharing a great story.
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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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It is good to know that you have the good memories of your dad.  That tends to help.  When I think back about my Mother,  always remember the good times and makes me smile. 

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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I am so sorry for your loss.  

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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I suppose there's a time in everyone’s life when we learn that bad things really do happen to people we know. For me, I made it into high school before I learned this lesson.

 

It wasn’t that I hadn’t confronted death before. There had been the occasional pet and even my grandmother and great-grandmother. But somehow those were different. We were all sad, but they were old and sick and it was not unexpected. So this was different.

 

When my parents first built our new house there were few others in the neighborhood. Our house was on a main street and we were halfway up a rather large hill. After we had lived there for a few months they began to build lots of houses on the other side of that hill and when school started back in the fall we discovered lots of families had moved in with children. I was in the 4th grade and my sister was in the first.

 

Bonnie was in my class and her sister, Betty, was in my sister’s class and both us were expecting a new brother or sister. In a few months we had a sister and our friends had a baby brother, who they named Billy.

 

When I was in the 7th grade their mother decided to start a Girl Scout troop and I joined up. My sister joined her Brownie group and we all met at their house. Billy, who was there most of the time, became an honorary Girl Scout and we more or less adopted him. His father started a Cub Scout group a few years later and that’s where the accident happened.

 

The four of us were all in high school and none of us any longer involved in Scouts but we all rode the school bus together each day and we talked about our younger siblings being in the first grade together.

 

I don’t remember who called us with the news. At first I didn’t believe it. Little boys only 7 years old couldn’t die. From the story we got his Cub Scout Troop was on a picnic and one of the little boys decided to go swimming in a creek and he got into trouble. Billie, who had taken swimming lessons with us when he was only about 3 was a very good swimmer and he dove into the water to help. He did manage to save his friend, but as often happens, he lost his life in the process.

 

I remember we all went to the funeral. It almost felt as though a member of our family had been lost. None of us knew what to say to our friends. I’m not certain we ever said anything but I do remember seeing that small casket in front of the church and how unreal it felt to know that bad things really do sometimes not just happen to other people.

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Dear Pattydianne.


In a way, I think a lot like you because I don't ask directly anybody about their loss, except for the regular 'how are you doing" because I believe that by asking we are opening their wounds. 

It is nice to hear your friend noticed your thoughtfulness by not asking and she is looking forwards to see what this new passage in her life will bring her.

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Message 7 of 22

Sara:  You are so right about everybody reacting differently to dealing with loss.  I know I could not have written what I did about my father until years later.  I have touched on other losses both here and in some of the short stories and I'm certain there will be more in the future.

 

But I was thinking about a good friend of mine who lost her husband of 56 years suddenly as he choked while eating dinner at a friend's house.  This was several months ago now and I have talked to her many times since but I have not asked questions other than to ask how she is doing, which I normally ask everyone anyway.  If she chooses to talk to me about it I try to be a good listener and most of the time that's at the end of a normal conversation.  She tells me what she enjoys most about talking with me is that I still treat her as a normal human being.  Apparently many other people tend to treat her as though she's not herself anymore.  As she put it: she is still the same person but is now having to learn to live alone, just like when she left home to go to college.  She says that it's an adventure just like that was.

 

I thought this was such a wonderful way to look at it.  She says she got the idea from me when I was going through a divorce.

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Hello Intersan:
I am glad to see you posting again Yes, it was difficult for me to talk about the suicide of my brother. Unfortunately when somebody has made up their mind to do such a thing, there isn't anything anyone can do to make them change their way of thinking. Sara.
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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Message 9 of 22

Dear Frances:

Your sad memory about the death of your father brought tears to my eyes. For some reason all of our most sad memories remain frozen in our memory Up to now I still find difficult to talk about the loss of so many wonderful people in my family and I find solace in writing about it and eventually I will talk about their loss. Although, when I think about it, everybody reacts differently, I have known some people that all they need is to hear somebody mentioning the name of their loved one and they start talking without stop about all the details, which obviously gives them an opening to let their grief go.

I don't know what is worse, to keep it inside or let it go.

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Re: A SAD MEMORY.

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Message 10 of 22

Thank you for your comments Robin. You are absolutely right. Losing a loved one affects us in many ways and it doesn't matter how much we tried, it is difficult to go back to be ourselves again. I know, we can't accept their loss, but the thought that they are in a better place and the fact that their memory will live with us forever will gradually help us to accept.

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