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re: A New Millenium

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 Heart wrenching! Very well done. Are you well now?Your granddaughter is a doll! I checked out your site and love all of your photos. Is the house your Washington DC house? When was your granddaughter born? I am also a new grandma - her other grandma is Nana.   Six months old now.  Continue writing! Looking forward to your book.  There are a lot of great folks in this community!

  Hi there ScooterGranny


Good to hear from you. Ruby was born 21 Jan 2008......Isnt it amazing how fierce is the love for these new babies.


The house is our home in NZ.....it is just outside Cambridge in the center of the North Island if you want to look it up on the map. We call it  Hillstation. It is an Edwardian Kauri Villa built 1902.


Tell me about your grandchild. Are you handy for lots of visits ?


Cheers


Jill


 


 


 


 

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A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Heart wrenching! Very well done. Are you well now?Your granddaughter is a doll! I checked out your site and love all of your photos. Is the house your Washington DC house? When was your granddaughter born? I am also a new grandma - her other grandma is Nana.   Six months old now.  Continue writing! Looking forward to your book.  There are a lot of great folks in this community!

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What an inspiring life you have lived.  And you are a survivor.  But did you ever find your vegemite.  I found it at World Markets in Kansas City and I buy it for a friend who is from Australia.  Let me know, I will send you some.  It is too salty for me, but he spreads his on bread with butter and loves the taste.  Diane

  Hi there Diane


 


World Market..yes I found Vegemite there too in Friendship Heights Bethesda. Its one of those addictions we dont know we have until we have to go without !. Thank you for your comments. I appreciate the encouragement to keep writing.


 


cheers


 


Jilleen

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   Dear Jilleen,  This is such a vivid story and wonderful too, you have been through so much and still go on.  You have a wonderful inter strength, you keep writing.  I look forwards to reading your book one day.  Your Friend....RaeDi

  Hi there RaeDi


 


Thank you for your encouragement. I found your piece very  beautiful and heart rending as well. Human stories, fiction isnt half as interesting is it?. Take care of yourself. I think of you. 


 


Jilleen


 


 

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Hi Jilleen,  What a lot you have been through.  I enjoyed reading it.  It kept me rushing ownward wanting to know what happened next.  You have such a positive attitude and you did through both your surgeries and recovery.  Must have been hard when you were alone in America.  Good for you.  What and interesting piece it is. Marti

  Hi Marti


Thank you for your post.  Its always interesting  and encouraging to hear what people say about something you have written.  I'm glad I held your interest.


 


cheers


 


Jill

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A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  I read the story but you painted the picture.  Wonderful story of weathering the storm, rich and heartfelt.


Nikki

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A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What an inspiring life you have lived.  And you are a survivor.  But did you ever find your vegemite.  I found it at World Markets in Kansas City and I buy it for a friend who is from Australia.  Let me know, I will send you some.  It is too salty for me, but he spreads his on bread with butter and loves the taste.  Diane

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A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Jilleen,


Bravo!  So well written...like snapshots captured and later thumbed through in a photo album.  Family pictures, travel pictures, pictures of simple moments.  And those times of your ill health and surgeries....such a balanced combination between fear and hope...  It is amazing to see what we've lived, experienced, endured in a ten year period of our lives.  You told it perfectly. 


jan

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A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Dear Jilleen,  This is such a vivid story and wonderful too, you have been through so much and still go on.  You have a wonderful inter strength, you keep writing.  I look forwards to reading your book one day.  Your Friend....RaeDi

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In Response to A New Millenium:

  


A New Millenium

 

 

A new Millenium. Watch last sunset. Sitting on beach. Me and Narnie. My elderly mother. Typical NZ evening. Toast New Year. What’s ahead now? I feel sick. My head hurts. No not hungover.

 

Work reward given. Top corporate agent. Managing travel accounts. Trip to Kenya. Glorious sweeping country. Wild elephants gathering Drinking at waterhole. Just yards away. See lions sleeping. Sleek Cheetah hunting. Giraffes,leopard,gazelles. Enormous looming skies. Watch Masai dance. Long limbs jumping. Red ochred hair. Ignore my headaches.

 

 Back to work. Pressure is on. Days are crazy. Poor head thumps. Have trouble walking. Legs go funny. I go down . Crash on floor. World goes dark. I wake hurting. Am home alone. My head screams. Face bruised purple.

 

A brain tumor. The Doctor said. You have one. See right here. Behind left eye. Showed the scan. There it was. In my head. Now I understand. No menopause problems. Not work stress. Well fancy that . A brain tumor.

 

In next bed. Woman lies quiet. She’s my age. Had one too. Then a stroke. Very high risk. She’ll get better. Her daughter says. Holding drinking cup. Oh God why ? Is that me? Will I die?

I tell children. They’re adults now. They’ll be alright. “Look after Narnie. If I die.”

 

Surgery August 8. Surgeon visits me. Holding a skull. Outlines his task. Explains my risk. Might loose speech. Might those memory. Might be blind. Might have stroke. No not me ! Could grow again. Oh please never !

 

 I stay awake. Going into theatre . Put on table. I hang on. Hold back panic. Dear God please. I wont cry. I wont die. Lights go out.

 

Hear a voice. Over and over. “What’s your name?” “ Where are you ?”

Gasp out words. “ Jilleen Nell Bradley.” Yes that’s me. I know myself. Know my name. “In Ward Six.” Trying to shout. “Jilleen Nell Bradley.” God I’m alive. Voice says “ Good.”

 Oh thank God. Open one eye. Other bandaged shut. See Narnie’s face. White, drawn, old. See my son. He’s being staunch. See my daughter. Does she know. I’m still me. Can they see. I recognize them. I’ll get better. I’m still me.

 

And I do.

 

See world differently. Give up career. I slow down. Work from home. Value my life. Spend time laughing. See funny side. Daughter goes overseas. Works in London. Take a roadtrip. Her and I. See Grand Canyon. Drive a Thunderbird. Travel to France. Speak my French. Taxi driver laughs. But he understands ! I’m so excited. Gorgeous stunning city. Napolean built this. Louis died here. Museums and Galleries. All I dreamed. Train to Italy. Stay in Tuscany. Honey coloured hills. Ancient golden walls. People move slowly. Music and wine. Suits me fine.

 

Back home again. Life settles down. Grow pretty garden. Walk my dog. Start to write. Tell old stories. Remember my father. Time with Narnie. I am happy. Laugh with sister. Remembering our childhood.

 

Look for partner. On the Internet. Meet great guy. Learn to love. All over again. We get married. Move to America. Leave it behind. That old life. Goodbye to Hudson. Dear old dog. James keeps you. You’ll be fine. Goodbye to Narnie. Just call me. I’ll come home. Goodbye son James. . I’ll be back .Home for Christmas.

 

Different new life. In Washington DC. The Nation’s capitol. Live in apartment. No garden here. Drive on Right. Can’t find Vegemite. Cook for husband. We go exploring. Discover small towns. Beautiful Chesapeake Bay. Hang bird feeders. Hello little Chickadees. Noisy Bluejays squabbling. Gorgeous red Cardinals. Find a cottage. More like me . Have a garden. Woodpeckers on suet. Chipmunks and Squirrels. Cute little critters. Deer in woods. Living in fairyland. Comes first snow. I cant believe it. Hear no sound . White fluff falling. Cottage in snow. Like a postcard.

 

Husband often away. I travel too. See Kathy in London. Home to New Zealand. Feel abit ****. Funny pains all over. Worry about tumor. Has it returned.? Do the tests. No not brain. But on kidney. What is this ? Some horrible thing. Has to go. Otherwise will kill. Walking time bomb. American Doctor says. Urgent urgent urgent. !

Surgery again. Husband in Asia. I go alone. Scared this time. Feel very alone. Ache with homesickness. These voices different. No familiar faces. I must manage. Must survive this. Husband loves me. Book to finish. Kathy is pregnant. My first grandchild. Not giving up. I will not.

 

And I do. Get well again. Ruby is born. Cry with joy. This beautiful child. Will know me. I’m here Ruby. Here for you. I’m your Nana.

 

Its 2008 now. Three years married. We’re being relocated. Laos to live. Go in November. Closer to home. We are excited. Both like change. Hubby and me. I’m turning 60. Life’s an adventure. Lots more yet. Always look forward. Laugh at myself. Keep going Jill. Finish that book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Jilleen,  What a lot you have been through.  I enjoyed reading it.  It kept me rushing ownward wanting to know what happened next.  You have such a positive attitude and you did through both your surgeries and recovery.  Must have been hard when you were alone in America.  Good for you.  What and interesting piece it is. Marti

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