Bronze Conversationalist

The Tyranny of Self Improvement

Maybe it's my age. Could be my innately belligerent personality. No doubt my Capricorn resistance to change plays a role. After years of agreeing with a lot of new-agey psychobabble admonitions for how to be a better person, be positive, get skinny, live longer, find love, stay happy, yada yada, I am over all the advice that assumes I am not okay as is, as was, as ever shall be. 


Kinda thinking that if I spend more time working on attaining equanimity, maximizing resilience, understanding why I think the things I do, caring about the people and issues I care about, everything will fall into place the way it is supposed to.


Well yes, the above could be a version of self improvement, I suppose. Or it could be simply living more of what is already natural for me instead of trying to live what is natural for you or what some guru of the week is selling. (I don't begrudge them the selling, I just am not longer buying).


What are your thoughts on this?  Are you striving to improve from the inside out, or the outside in?




Silver Conversationalist

Deah,  Hey, I thought you were having a hard time getting motivated today, and then you write this beautiful piece 🤓.  Social media, tv, magazines continue to market the "if you had product A, or had this piece of clothing, jewelry, car, home, latest tech gismo, or were this weight etc. your life would be better."  Reality, you get your short hit of dopamine, then your life is no better.  You are right about focusing on the people and causes you are passionate about, and continue to build healthy coping mechanisms, such as resilience , and look at your thought process.  Those are the things that improve the quality of your life permanently.


Having said that, I've decided to cut my hair short, the length is just dragging my ( newly found out ) diamond shaped face.  High forehead and long face.  Trying to get the courage to do it.  We're talking chin length with lots of layers. ---  Christine

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Bronze Conversationalist

I cut my short short, pixie short years ago and have never gone back, mostly because the growing it out period is  more awful than even covid isolation can tolerate. LOL  Good luck with yours.


Sometimes ideas stomp into my brain and refuse to shut up until they are organized into paragraphs. Sigh.

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