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Should you initiate sex or not?

This is something many question - were you taught to believe if women were to initiate sex, it was a sure thing?

 

https://www.thegirlfriend.com/relationships/to-initiate-sex-or-not-to-initiate-sex-that-is-the-quest... 

AARPTeri
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To be honest, I kind of read the article and kind of didn't.  Personally, I found it sounded more to me like it was written by a male rather than a female...to the point of where I would have thought that it was, if I hadn't known otherwise.

I've never ever heard (from anyone) that "if women were to initiate sex it was a sure thing."  Say WHAT?  LOL

I come from a generation that taught women that women shouldn't even THINK about initiating sex.

(Or having sex without a wedding ring on their finger for that matter!)

However, over the years, I have come to realize that asking a man out to dinner, asking a strange man in a nightclub to dance, and yes, initiating intimacy with someone I know and am passionate for is nothing to be ashamed about or uncomfortable about doing.  Why shouldn't a woman do those things? 

As for "rejection?"  I don't like that word and it's not part of my vocabulary.  Each person is different. And not everyone was meant to be with everyone else.  I get that.  And I'm okay with that.  Just because someone doesn't want to be with me, it doesn't mean I am not "good enough" or "smart enough" or "attractive enough."  It just means that thing that makes two people click...that makes two people feel a connection between them...that starts a spark of chemistry... wasn't there with that person.  It certainly doesn't mean someone won't find that with someone else...just not that particular person at that particular time.  

I hope I haven't put anyone to sleep with my opinion.  I know this got rather long.

Talking about sex is good...and it's healthy.  And I think it would be great if some folks latched on to this topic and discussed it more.  Thanks!  😀

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There haven't been many times that a woman was the one to initiate or suggest that we have sex. I'm speaking, of course, women that I hadn't paid for just that purpose. But I didn't mind if they did. It's not the best feeling in the world to be rejected by someone you care about for something as intimate as sex.

 

It's one thing to ask a woman to dance and then be rejected or to have a woman offer her hand to shake at the end of a date, when I might have thought a kiss would be nice. But I wouldn't feel obligated to have sex with a woman just because she was the one to initiate the action. It's not bad to ask for what you want, is it? After all, "A closed mouth doesn't get fed.", as Grandma used to say.

 

I think that most people aren't comfortable talking about sex. It's one of those topics that people don't like to discuss but it's as close to a universal experience that we all have. We all are touched by sex in one sense, that if two of our ancestors hadn't hadn't had sex, none of us would be here. So like it or not, sex is a part of everyone's life, even from the beginning. You don't have to partake after birth, that's your decision to make but most of us do. And I think that it's quite nice if women took the initiative more often to initiate the act. It would be an almost sure thing and a whole lot nicer than hearing, "No sex, EVER!" I mean, we grow older but we're not dead. Death is another topic that most people don't find comfortable to talk about but I don't think that either partner should initiate. Sex is a friendly thing and I think a little more friendliness would do us all a world of good! After all, if one has just enjoyed sex, who came up with the idea will hardly be the first thought on their mind, now, would it? Initiate, appreciate, respect one another. Be kind! And please, don't click your tomgue at me, unless you're trying to catch my attention!

 

One last thing I feel worth a mention; if you read what I wrote, all the way through and found my words offensive, please know that I meant none at all. I just answered as honestly as I could. I meant no harm to you or to anyone. But please don't feel the need to admonish me for having my own thoughts. You're an adult and can choose to read or not read anything at any point. Your thoughts may be different than mine and that's a good thing. It keeps life interesting. But by that same token, do please share your thoughts about the topic at hand and not analyze what mine or anyone else's thoughts may be. I don't like women (or men, for that matter) who initiate debates where none are called for. Cheers and have great sex, if you choose to!



It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
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Silver Conversationalist

I admit it, I wrote my response before I read the article but even so, I stand by what I wrote. The author of the article, her name, that just goes to show, in my opinion, how taboo such a natural thing is to talk about. (Go see for yourself what shee use for her name.) Sex is a word and not a dirty one. It also seems to be a pretty popular activity, judging by the fact that there are 8 billion (or nearly so) people living in the world today. They didn't get here by osmosis! It doesn't matter who initiates sex but if a woman does with me, I'd probably say ...

 

What do you think I'd say?  Initiate with someone and watch what happens. You just might be doing your part to making our world a better place! And at our ages, we won't likely be contributing to the burgeoning population. That's a positive enough though right there, don't you think? Ladies, take your partner by the hand, let them know they're a desirable man!



It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
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