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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 1 of 12

Yep - married only once but that was enough. He accused me of cheating right off the bat when it was actually him. As I'm getting close to my expiration date I have to say he was the worst decision of my life. I found out after we divorced that he cheated only 3 weeks into our marriage. C'mon, you're still rabbits at that stage! From what I hear - at 67 years old - he's still a dog and I don't mean the cute little 4-legger kinda dog. He's all about the conquest. He's been married 3 times that I know of. Fortunately for all his other ladies, I got him neutered before we divorced so he's not leaving kids all over Florida. Revenge is sometimes sweet though. One of his wives turned up preggo - guess he never told her he was neutered. The cheater got cheated on! YAY!!!

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 2 of 12

Revision.

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 3 of 12
My response was intended to be to the post by Judy Ally.
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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 4 of 12

Yes, they can lose their licenses, along with other professionals like physicians and psychologists. However, someone (you perhaps?) must report the behavior to the appropriate professional board. My ex-husband, a physician, had several affairs the last of which was with a patient. He had subsequent affairs with patients one of whom reported him. He was investigated and did not lose his license but was put on probabtion for 10 years with many accompanying requirements including having a female "scribe" with him during any interactions with female patients--including in the OR during surgery. If that patient with whom he had an affair had not filed a complaint which initiated an investigation, it would be "business as usual" for my philandering ex. So PLEASE take the time and energy to research the counseling board and how to report.

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 5 of 12

I think this has probably happened to many of us, unfortunately , myself included.  We are together but everything is forever different, like it or not.  You have to make a decision at some point to just draw a line in the sand and stop looking back.  We can't change the past;  I have vowed to live my best days moving forward; should the situation arise again then it will be time to change  paths and end the marriage.  I deserve to be happy and at peace with my life, be it as a single or as part of a couple.

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 6 of 12

There is such a thing as emotional infidelity.  My ex reached out to discuss his feelings with a woman counselor instead of talking with me, his wife, about his concerns.  He ended up wanting an “open marriage”.  I divorced him and he moved in with the counselor.  I think counselors can lose their license for those kinds of behaviors. 

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 7 of 12

Trust oh my Trust 

I don't think can be with another without trust 

With end of marriage...so unexpectedly.... way he handled ....all the broken trust I naively had during marriage and through settlement I feel I've lost all trust in my life.....I don't trust my own decisions don't trust my heart to not mislead me again....so its tough and my fear holds me back from trying again or believing and having faith in anyone 

I lost many things through the process but feel this trust and faith in myself & others is 1 of my biggest losses.... the betrayal and loss of broken dreams life thought have forever to now be living a life I never expected .... but life goes on in spite of me 

I feel for all of your situations and pray for the right outcomes for ya'll 

If you have hope & both have willingness to work on it I think its worth trying

There is no easy answer... being married and being single all have there pluses and minuses.... given the chance I feel its worth fighting for if its what you truly want ... One Day at a Time.... One step at a time

If your in safe environment no abuse take your time don't rush and hard as it may be try not to make emotional decisions 

Good luck Wish you the best

Ginger  :  )

 

Smiley Happy Smile & the world Smiles with you Smiley Wink Pass one on....its free
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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 8 of 12

I feel for your situation - it sounds similar to mine. I recently found out about my husband's affair; we are trying to work through it but it is touch and go. He also says it was "awkward" to bring up the things that he was missing from our marriage -- apparently it was less awkward to seek emotional and physical satisfaction elsewhere!! Sigh. We are in counseling, which has been helpful; critical I would say. Sometimes I think our counselor is amazed at all of the things we agree were fine and working with our marriage; it was just the physical (or lack of) at the root of the issues. My husband also swears he is dedicated to our family and to saving our marriage, which I believe a lot of the time...but then there are the times which re-surface the doubts. Part of the issue is I think he does not understand himself completely; I think he is still working through the emotions that he felt for the other woman and doesn't understand how strong they may/may not be. I understand your fear, I have it too. I desparately hope to be one of the couples we keep hearing about who "come out stronger" after the infidelity, but it is too soon to tell yet. Sometimes I am just so tired, and sad at the loss of that unwavering trust that I used to have and fear I will never be able to have again. Just wanted you to know that there are more of us out here -- wishing you strength and the best outcome, whatever it is.

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 9 of 12

Hi,

My advice is to check out the blog Chumplady.com 

I had a serial cheater for a husband.

It doesn't get better it gets worse as the years go by.

Leaving is the only sane route to take.

Sorry you're going through this.

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Re: I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me. Has It Happened To You or someone close to you?

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Message 10 of 12

I agree that there should be more support for people in this situation.  With technology and social media, I personally feel that infidelity is on the rise because there is so much opportunity to connect with others. Being cheated on is so damaging.

My former husband had several affairs which I found out about all at one once.  His final affair in our marriage resulted in a pregnancy which gave me full authority to end the marriage. We divorced. 

I remarried 12 years later but am finding that my currrent husband hasnt been completely faithful to me either.  He was having secret conversations and texting with a former girlfriend discussing their physical/intimate past.  Do you think this is cheating?  In my damaged heart, it feels like it is...

 

Staying or leaving where there is infidelity...I wish there was a good answer.  

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