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Community Manager
Community Manager

How do you keep in touch with friends?

Life gets hectic and it can be difficult to stay in touch.  How do you keep in touch with your friends?  What advice can you share that works?

 

Read this article about reaching aout to hold friends:  https://www.thegirlfriend.com/relationships/happened-reached-old-friends-scattered-far-wide?intcmp=C...

AARPTeri
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Regular Contributor

Technology has made it easier to keep in touch, i.e.

social networking, email, texting, video chat, etc., get togethers for lunch, birthdays and "just because".

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Regular Contributor

Life gets busy is an excuse.  It's about priorities. 

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Regular Contributor

It's sad but people now days don't want to be bothered.

I reach out all the time.  They say "yes we should get together" but they will never commit .

I think people have gotten lazy.

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Contributor

There are so many ways these days, especially with friends who don’t live close by. A lot of keeping in touch happens in social media: responding to Facebook or Instagram posts. Some of my friends hate texting, so we only text to say “Free to talk on the phone?” We all live busy lives, and sometimes it’s a great way to connect by doing something together: a meditation class, a movie, a wine date. Lunches together, when time and schedules allow, are always a pleasure, even if we can get together infrequently, even twice a year. 

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Contributor

My favorite way to stay connected with my friends is by meeting up for coffee or wine. I’ve had more deep, enriching conversations than I could possibly count sittimg face to face over coffee/drinks. As for my friends who are far away, we simply text, email and when it works, set up a phone call or

Facetime. 

 

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Newbie

I am 71 and retired for 4 years.  I keep in touch with former work friends with periodic lunches. I have 4 high school girl friends that I get together for lunch every month or so.  We have supported each other through all of life’s ups and downs for almost 60 years. The love and respect we share sustains each of us.

Contributor

My name is Deanna.  The only friend that I had moved away to take care of  her daughter.  I could talk to her very openly.  I try to keep in tough byphone, but her health has gone way down hill and is not able to get her cell phone if the phone is not next to her. She moved away to take care of her daughter, and 2 monthd after my friend bought a house, her married daughter decided to move in with her new boyfriend.  Her phone message part is ful and she does not know how to delete them.So I feel all alone.  My Mother died two years ago, and then my younger brother passed away this past July.I had no one talk to about these deaths.  It has been a hard.The last time I was able to talk tomy friend was at Christmas.  I called to see if she receivef the gift that I sent her.  She had and was very thankful. I donot know if she is dead or still alive.  It is frustrating as I try to call her everyday.  I have sisters, but I am so much younger than they are, that we do not talk.I am disabled and have recently had more surgery.  I can't go out because of my health, and because I can't drive.Enough about me.  I can relate to the article as I have had hot flashes and all "the change signs and symptoms for the past 20 years.  When I was a therapist, I would break out in water really bad.  I have most of my worst hot flashes at night.  I guess it is because I do not have any man toelp me with my raging hormones.  They are really  out of whack.  Because I do not talk to anyone most days with anyone, I talk alot with my thre cats.  I took one cat in when my brother passed away as I could not have it go to a shelter and stilllive with myself. Ireally miss my brother as we use to talk almost daily.

 

I  think that the articles were great.  It helps me feel like I am not the only ne going these symptoms.

 

Sincerely,

 

Deanna

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Contributor

I stay in touch with my friends by telephone, text, & email. I’d write. I love to write. But now I don’t know how my hands will respond ! Thank goodness for the technology I know. Truthfully though, I’m still looking for the Stargate. I had it around here somewhere 🤦🏾‍♀️!

Regular Contributor

One friend I keep in touch with on a daily basis through email.  We started out as penpals using the old fashioned method of pen and paper.  But when computers became the norm we switched to email.  My other two best friends I talk to at least once a week on the phone or by text.

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Bronze Conversationalist

Daily email exchanges with my cousin who lives across the country from me.  A weekly phone conversation with my friend of 39 years who was a former co-worker and 12 years older than I; and emails to penpals who live in other countries and to a couple of close friends who I don't get to see often.  "Real" cards for birthdays and other special occasions.  Many people have their own preferred method of communicating and keeping in touch, so I like to be flexible and communicate "their" way.
Whichever way we communicate, it's great to have such "close" friends.

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Periodic Contributor

Old fashioned phone calls, snail mail letters,  invites to pop over for a visit, go on local walks, and whatever things that force me to not stay home alone and be alone.. the older you get the less friends you have unless you keep cultivating.  I also like being a grandma to those who don’t have one . Keepsyou tou g and laughing snd they love it too!  We need Grans Connected to Kids. :). 

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Conversationalist

of course, people will say email.  Technology is ruling communication.  But I have friends (older than myself) who don't have computers, or even a smartphone (I don't have a smartphone either), so we do things the old fashioned way, snail mail!   My friends look forward to getting that letter and it keeps me busy writing to them.  One person, I write a poem a week to her.  The other friend gets a recipe that I tried out!  Cards are sent out for birthdays and special holidays.  I think this is a long lost art!

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I am 74 years old. I had 3 BFFs for nearly 50 years. One passed with cancer. One died in an auto accident. One moved 1500 miles away. Then my husband of 43 years had an accident followed by 7 strokes. I am his caregiver. I have little time to communicate with my one remaining long-distance. It is hard to make new friends when I don’t work outside the home. When we go to church, my energy and attention belong to my husband. He goes to adult daycare, thanks to to VA; but I am usually so tired or behind that I rest or try to catch up.

I try to walk three miles a day. 

 

People who who have not been full-time caregivers have no idea what it’s like. Most who have finished a course of caregiving just want to get back to their old friends.

 

I get some help from one daughter who lives locally and daily encouragement from a son who lives 745 miles away. I see a counselor twice a month. Theses three qare my new BFFs.

 

 

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Regular Contributor

Being a caregiver is very hard.  I don't think people realize we're all in this together until it happens to them.  We all need help from someone at one time or another during our life time.  I can't change other people but I know I can do what is right.  I realized a long time ago I can give to myself what others don't.  I do what makes me happy even if it is done alone knowing that if someone needs me I will be there for them.  Even if I don't know them.  

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Newbie

You are a strong woman!  Praying for strength and healing for you and your husband.

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Community Manager
Community Manager

@mickeyh848963  Caregiving certainly is hard!  We also have a forum for caregivers that I want to be sure you are aware of, we have experts answering questions and just good conversation among caregivers like yourself. -- Click here to see https://community.aarp.org/t5/Caregiving/ct-p/Caregiving

AARPTeri
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I love having dinner with girlfriends when possible, leaving spouses and kids at home. It's so nice to order a glass of wine and connect one on one (or with however many of us there are.)

 

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