Reply
Community Manager
Community Manager

Haven't had sex in years and are ok with it?

Seems like this may be a growing trend?  What are your thoughts about this topic?  Read our article on this here:  https://www.thegirlfriend.com/relationships/i-havent-had-sex-in-years-and-i-dont-plan-on-doing-so-an...

AARPTeri
0 Kudos
8,938 Views
19
Report
Reply
Social Butterfly

Do you mean sex with a partner or self sex?

I'd like to hear that answer  and how?

0 Kudos
1,280 Views
0
Report
Reply
Contributor

can live without sex but i like to be able to have a partner who i can have sex with it fpr me it is a great mood adjustment 

2,402 Views
0
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

If "sex" includes intercourse, then it's been a few years for us.  After my complete hysterectomy because of cancer, it was just to painful.  My doctors didn't seem to care about finding a physical solution, you know some mistake made in surgery.  The only recommendation....go to a sex therapist.  What late 60 year old woman wants to go to a sex therapist, plus....it was not in my head....but in the other end.  Then after my husband had some prostrate problems and had surgery it sealed the deal for us.  We still enjoy cuddling, kissing and sometimes self pleasuring.  Having an understand husband, I suspect, makes all the difference in the world.

2,465 Views
1
Report
Reply
Regular Contributor

I am really happy for you that you have the wonderful husband that you have!
0 Kudos
2,358 Views
0
Report
Reply
Contributor

Maybe for some people it's works without sex. As for myself I enjoy the intimacy can you work on the. Yes, you can take care of your desires yourself but at times it's not always the same..

0 Kudos
2,492 Views
0
Report
Reply
Contributor

My husband and I have been together since he was 19 and I was 16. We dated for 4 years and have been married for 38 years. He was diagnosed with a severe health issue requiring an organ transplant. We haven’t been able to have sex in a year. I am thankful for the nights he is home in bed by my side and I am rubbing his back. We have had decades of incredible sex , but having him with me in any way I can is what matters most to me

2,610 Views
0
Report
Reply
Gold Conversationalist

I really don’t have that problem.  All of my women are still ok with it.

0 Kudos
2,612 Views
0
Report
Reply
Contributor

Three years for me too. Actually 37 months. I stay horny and frustrated to the MAX . I really know your pain.
0 Kudos
2,756 Views
0
Report
Reply
Regular Contributor

I literally physically can't have sex and haven't been able to for 15 years now, I am 66 which is not that old. I wish to have intimacy with someone who doesn't mind not going all the way, but so far no luck. I miss hugs and cuddling the most!

5,252 Views
2
Report
Reply
Social Butterfly

@JenniferS880013 

Yes indeed Jennifer 

Hugs I miss so much and just snuggling up watch TV

I dearly miss it

Hugs have a way of making everything better 

I hope you'll be blessed with just the person who wants same as you want 

Good luck 

Ginger  :  ) 

🙂 Smile & the world Smiles with you 😉 Pass one on....its free
2,935 Views
0
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

totally agree!  My hubby is a good cuddler! That means more than anything to us!  We are in our 60s too. 

 

3,977 Views
0
Report
Reply
Newbie

In 2000, my boyfriend had prostrate cancer surgery and was impotent after.  In addition, I take an anti-depressant that affects sexual desire - I have none.  I haven't had sex since, and I don't miss it.  When I feel a "desire", I take care of it myself, if you know what I mean.  I have a group of friends that live in an over 55 community who are widow3ed, divorced or never-marrieds and only 1 or 2 of them is interested in sex.  It was wonderful when I was younger - <50 - but I don't care now at 74.

6,453 Views
0
Report
Reply
Conversationalist

When I read the subject of the topic, I thought, do I really want to say?  I was hesitant but decided  that yes, I would answer.  So, can I go years without sex?  Absolutely!  I have a freedom that I enjoy and in this day of STDs, aids, pregnancy (thank God I don't have that worry!), means a lot.  I can decide for myself what I want with no pressure.  I hope that doesn't sound selfish, but it is who I am now.

6,509 Views
0
Report
Reply
Social Butterfly

I will jump out there with my thoughts.....

@ChessiePique 

As Cheesie says ...ha yup

 

I'm grateful that I have a choice & I've been more choosy not willing to settle just for sake of having sex as was in younger days

But I'd be lying if said didn't miss it or desire it. 

I read girlfriends article.... ok with me you don't have sex even while married but I don't see a moment in my thoughts being married living without lovemaking 

Yes I'd be perfectly fine if given health issues... also don't feel anyone should feel pressured to keep up with anyone else If your happy way things are so be it don't let others choose what makes you happy and is "normal" for you. 

 

Given choice I'd definitely be in for the fun and enjoyment along with the great exercise from sex. I also would love to replace my last memory of sex- quickie sex just b4 SuperBowl just before end of my marriage. 

 

Dr. Phil used to say : [quoting loosely] his thoughts on how important sex is to a marriage "If you have a great sex life in your marriage then it matters 10%.... if you don't then it matters 90%.

 

I do hope to again have a loving full relationship again but also I'm ok waiting till feel its right choice for myself. .... As far as taking an oath like a nun & saying never again or I don't desire or want it.... that's not happening.... ha ha yup 

 

Hope if you have a loving relationship you'll relish and enjoy it. ... while I am still keeping the faith for myself

 

Ginger  :  )  

🙂 Smile & the world Smiles with you 😉 Pass one on....its free
9,138 Views
4
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

My husband and I stopped having sex in late 1993 when he was diagnosed with

idiocardiomyopathy and had to move to Minnesota that January of 1994 for a heart transplant.  My dear beloved husband passed in August of 1995 and I have yet to have a man in my life to have sex with.  I learned that I restrain myself a lot because I have high morals and for a couple of

years, because I was still grieving for my husband.  It was rough restraining myself because my husband and didn't miss a day making love except for that time of the month.  Well, I finally moved into a senior citizens' community from the house I lived in for 33 years of which were 23 years being financially responsible by myself with my adult son not having a job and needing some place to stay.  There are times when I want to go out and grab any man just to have sex, bu there again, my morals won't let me and I totally restrain myself and knowing that God knows when I need a man, the right man and I therefore wait if it's meant to be.  Now that I've moved out entirely on my own, I started wondering if it was because of my husband that I didn't allow another man in my life or was it my son because he fussed every day and still does if I talk to him on the phone.  I've never told him that his fussing reminded me of my father fussing late at night at my mother.  It was at a point where I preferred my father being drunk than sober because he only fussed when he was sober.  My son wasn't drunk or drinking but every time he calls, I am guaranteed fussing at the end of phone call and I just hang up on him.and haven't talked to him in a month.  I haven't talked to my daughter either in 3 years because she tried to use my relationship with son-in-law to use me to have an affair with her friend.  Could have cared less about the affair but usage of me did it.  I know for a fact that if their father were alive, none of this would have happened but at least they found out that they can't break me down simply because I am a woman without a husband. With all that said, I am happier and I want to start dating without any commitment, but I find that I am very picky and cautious even though I get a lot of 2nd glances and stares.  So I do wonder if I did not want any man in my life for 20 years because of my son.

2,768 Views
0
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

My name is Ginger as well and my husband has a disease that prevents us from having sex/making love. It is what it is. We still love each other and it's ok. Been thru this before.
5,590 Views
2
Report
Reply
Social Butterfly

@GingerS172396

Wow another Ginger rarely meet others you have S my maiden name was S 

 

Yes I so agree.... having y'all relationships you all mention & being there for 1 another is most important 

 

Having that freedom to choose and life & love are more than about sex 

I want the whole fairytale (pretty woman) 

Can & have live without sex but in this life alone last 5+years I'm finding I truly miss loving.... loving & being loved & mattering to someone who can share things with I miss it & hope & pray I'll be blessed with another to love 

Enjoy your relationships your blessed 

Ginger :  ) 

🙂 Smile & the world Smiles with you 😉 Pass one on....its free
4,413 Views
1
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

I know... been there. I have lost two husbands to death.
3,062 Views
0
Report
Reply
Periodic Contributor

Ha ha, yup ...

9,214 Views
0
Report
Reply