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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 1 of 12

3 weeks ago when I was walking for exercise in my neighborhood, I fell in the street, breaking both wrists! It's been a real experience in being an "elder orphan"! No phone, noone who could bring clothes to the hospital for me, no one to let friends & family know what happened, no one to feed my cats. I had to insist on going home, so I could set some things up myself! In rehab, one of my roommates had a daughter who visited daily & washed her hair, my next roommate had 10 children, one of whom was a nurse, and they "took shifts" staying with their mother. The 3rd had 8 children, and her husband spent most of the day with her. Now I'm home from rehab, I have braces on that I can't remove or put back on myself, and am awaiting a call from a service that provides at-home personal care & therapy .. but that won't be enough, since I can't prepare fresh food for myself, except pre-packaged microwave stuff.


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Re: Alone: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 2 of 12

I was on the Elder orphans Facebook group, but for some reason was banned from it and I was never told why.

   Most of the people on there, as I remember, weren't sticking to the stated topics for the group but none of them got banned.

   I have a Facebook friend that I've had for two years now from that group and she left the group because all they were doing was talking about how much money they had and where they were traveling and they were very very very vocal about being extremely conservative in just about every way and how they didn't want to hear anything else. Poorly moderated and not along the lines of what is touted to be.

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Re: Alone: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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I am a member of the "Elder Orphans" group on FB and have not, as yet, been contacted about the need of a photo.  I haven't posted on the group for some time and wonder if I will receive that notice if and when I do.

 

I'm not certain how I feel about the need of a photo.  I don't have one on my FB page and the only one I know about on line is one posted by my high school reunion group which is my high school graduation picture.

 

I have found the group interesting at times, especially around the holidays which can be difficult for a lot of us who doesn't have family.  Then, as mentioned in an earlier posting, there have been some unkind comments to some members who might have family, even if they are unable to see them.  For myself, I've lost both parents and also one of my two sisters.  My other sister lives 200 miles away from me and is disabled and also hates to talk on the phone.  She hasn't answered my e-mails and the only way I know that she's still alive is through her daughter.  I also have two step-children who also live far away and I communicate with them mainly through FB.

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Alone: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 4 of 12

Being an "Elder Orphan" is something I never imagined would happen to me.

 

 

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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 5 of 12

No, she is making no exceptions.  I was removed from the group yesterday along with a number of other people.  As you mentioned, the elder orphan facebook group has had issues with trolls and other "unusual" people, so I suspect Carol instituted the "must have a face photo on your facebook profile" rule to try and weed out false profiles, or people just looking for trouble.  Unfortunately, I have a clearance, and my job does not allow me to have any photo's of me on the web anywhere.  It took me 2 years just to get permission to have a facebook account so I could keep up with friends from high school and college.  I do really feel sorry for the people who got out of abusive relationships, and had been advised by their attorney's not to post photo's of themselves and other identifying information to protect their current location from being determined.  Most people don't realize that the photo's taken on your phone provide geo location information inbedded in the photo itself, which is how the gov't and other law enforcement agencies, along with tech savy people, can determine your location by the photo alone.   Carole has amended the rules of the elder orphans facebook group to reflect the requirement of a facial photo on your profile in order to be allowed to join the group.     

CH
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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 6 of 12

@chasel46 - If anyone is a member of the group & has a legitimate reason not to post a photo on FB, they should reach out to Carol privately & explain their situation; my guess is that she'll make reasonable exceptions.

 

That said, I found the group frustrating, because of the VERY loose definition of "elder orphan". If someone had immediate family who lived at a distance, they qualified as "elder orphans", although they could communicate & get support from them via phone or e-mail, and those family members might be able to come visit & help in an emergency situation. 


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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 7 of 12

Just an update to the closed Elder Orphans facebook group that is run by Carol Marak.  In addition to answering the 3 questions to join the group, she is now requiring people to have an updated photo of themselves as part of their facebook profile in order to join or remain a member of the group. For those of you whose jobs or employers do not allow photo's of yourself to be posted on facebook, or those who are dealing with domestic violance and have been advised by your attorney not to post photo's of yourself on facebook, you will not be allowed to join the group. If you are currently a member of the elder orphan facebook group, you will be removed and blocked from rejoining the group.

 

CH
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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 8 of 12

Does anyone know of a different website that provides information to 'elder orphans'?  I never joined Facebook and have no desire to do so.  

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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 9 of 12

@YankeeInNC - Yes, I was accepted. I'm a little confused about the group, because there doesn't seem to be any "expert facilitator" to offer any guidance. I started a discussion about the major issue "elder orphans" have .. not having children to oversee healthcare, bill payment, housing maintenance & other arrangements, etc .. and it was as if it was the first time anyone raised the subject. That seemed strange, that people would talk about general things .. but not the most important one. No "expert" jumped into that discussion, to suggest agencies that could help, professional services & their benefits/limitations.

 

When I seem to have more information than anyone else in a group, and I'm certainly no expert, I'm not sure how much value it is. If one of the other group members suggests something that's inaccurate, there's no "professional" to correct that?!


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Re: "Elder Orphans" - Facebook Group

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Message 10 of 12

Have you been accepted yet? What's your feedback?

 


@ASTRAEA wrote:

I just got a link from an AARP Livable e-mail, for an article about "Elder Orphans". The article contained a link to a closed Facebook group for us. If you request to join the group, a 3-item questionnaire pops up, asking your age, marital status, and status regarding children. Then you have to wait for the administrator to check it out & approve you.

 

It should be interesting to see what information they provide, and what the conversations are about.

~SL
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