AARP and the photographers of Magnum Photos look at older people living in new ways around the world in A New Age.

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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 11 of 16
When I was unemployed and volunteered at our local hospital, I took three days in two different departments. One was with a male who trained me. His wife volunteered in a nearby area. He sat on his rump most of the time and ate popcicles. His wife would come to our department and do the work for him. One day, I asked him why he volunteered. He didn't like the question, but said he was not getting paid, so he wasn't going to do much. After that, he was not very happy with me. I left that department and only worked my days in out patient surgery where I did not have to contend with his lazy, bossy attitude. Of course we were not getting paid, but if you take a job, whether volunteer or not, you do the job. Sitting on your butt does not cut it with me. I see men following their wives around in stores. They don't seem to enjoy it and sometimes the wife and I will roll our eyes at one another. Here is a good example of where, if able, a man could get a hobby, help around the house, take a course, or something to keep busy and be much happier. If I knew I was going to retire and have someone under foot all the time, I would work until my death.

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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 12 of 16

I agree with a lot of the comments already posted! Except for the small fraction of depression caused by actual physical-chemical-mental issues, my belief is that the rest of depressed people have a legitimate reason for being temporarily depressed (loss of a loved one) .. and need to work thru it, or are allowing themselves to wallow long-term rather than do something to get out of their depression. And that goes for men & women!

 

Things that are proven to help, are GETTING INVOLVED, and developing a NETWORK OF FRIENDS & RELATIVES. So the catch-22 is that in most of the organizations in which I've volunteered, or seen their volunteers at work, there's a preponderence of WOMEN .. NOT men! If men get involved, it's often just at higher levels, where they can (forgive this bias) boss the women around, while the women do most of the actual dog work.


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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 13 of 16

I think the figure of 10% is very low, especially in men, and I don't think it's any worse after retirement.  Perhaps it becomes more visable at that time because work has been a part of the medication for the depression, as well as a large part of the male identity.  While this is true for some women also, it seems most women have more interests outside of work to carry them through.

 

I have a big problem with the treatment of depression with medication and I'm very grateful that the therapist that I saw did not believe in that route.  I know many people who have gotten in trouble when the meds didn't really help the problem when they thought they should or when they became dependent on the drugs and that became a new problem.  I think therapy is much better when the underlying issues are faced and managed, finding new and better outlets.

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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 14 of 16

I'm one of those people who has never accepted depression as an 'illness'. Of course, that attitude only gets me contempt, at best. It's impossible for me to believe that we have such huge numbers of 'depressed' people who need to be treated. I've always thought this is something that is pretty much 'only in America' with silly people who can't run their own lives.

   Losing a spouse, close friend, etc., definitely makes one sad and grieving is a legit process. But to have 10%+ of men actually 'depressed'????

   No, there is personal failure here and not a 'disease' where we need more drugs........ I'm going to get slammed, but I just think this is nothing but 'bad behavior' and weak minded people who lack personal responsibility to seek out direction in life and actually set goals, make plans, then work for them, etc.

   We all get down or have the 'blues' at times. But month after month, year after year???? Prozac for years???  Over 20% of the entire population of the U.S. take mind altering prescription drugs. You think that 20% of the country has a mind 'disease'?


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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nyadrn wrote:

The Secret Sadness of Retired Men The Golden Years have lost their shine for a crucial group of older men. Can you help these clients savor life again?

 Retired male clients are unlikely to ask for help if they suffer from depression. (Illustration: Greg Betza)

Retirement may be dangerous to your health—especially if you’re a man.

A growing body of research has found that retirement significantly increases the risk of clinical depression and even suicide among men.

As an advisor working with retirees, you may be a witness—and sometimes an unwitting accessory—to lives whose joy is sapped by depression. If these afflicted clients are men, you will probably have to take the lead in encouraging them to seek help because they won't volunteer that they need it.

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I ran accross this article and it reminded me of some of the discussions we have had here.. and how retirement without a plan can be a bad thing..  and worse if you fail to acknowledge that you are having problems and fail to get any kind of help or even talk about it.  I am not surprised that this article is referring to men  as women I think tend to talk about issues more.

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 16 of 16

The Secret Sadness of Retired Men The Golden Years have lost their shine for a crucial group of older men. Can you help these clients savor life again?

 Retired male clients are unlikely to ask for help if they suffer from depression. (Illustration: Greg Betza)

Retirement may be dangerous to your health—especially if you’re a man.

A growing body of research has found that retirement significantly increases the risk of clinical depression and even suicide among men.

As an advisor working with retirees, you may be a witness—and sometimes an unwitting accessory—to lives whose joy is sapped by depression. If these afflicted clients are men, you will probably have to take the lead in encouraging them to seek help because they won't volunteer that they need it.

There are an estimated 11 million depressed men in America at any given time, according to psychotherapist Terrence Real, LICSW, author of “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression.” That's about 9% of the adult male population. “But we have to take that number with a huge grain of salt,” Real added, “because so many men don't come forward. They are just not built to talk about these sorts of issues.”

http://www.thinkadvisor.com/2014/06/30/the-secret-sadness-of-retired-men?utm_source=TACampaign&utm_m...

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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