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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Do whatever you think that feels better.

I saw many of them that avoid all types of pleasure. and miss all the satisfaction and pleasures
i think many of them might be doing that,bcaoz some might have health issues,family issues if someone is facing the death loss.
I personally think if you are not living the life to the fullest its waste of time

 iam not saying you should have good pleasure and have sex allthe time but atleast do whenever its needed because this will put you in more depression

i have friend who does the all activities which feels him good even though he has n no of probelems in life.

So i suggest you to live the life to the fullest !!
Njoy have a great day

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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Men retire need to stay in social circles especially if single. Since I retired I have stayed so busy I might need ti return to work to get some rest! Spending time with friends, grandchildren, taking care of projects at home and travel keeps me ao busy.
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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@retiredtraveler - I only re-read this topic today, after someone else posted to it, and I got an e-mail about it. Ironically, I think it ties in very well with a topic I just started the other day, about "What is Happiness?" for each of us.

 

I think that in the 21st century, too many people have unrealistic expectations about Happiness, and aren't raised with tools to deal with adversity, and fall into the trap of taking anti-depressants long-term, or self-medicating by smoking, drinking a little too much, or taking illegal drugs.


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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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There are more things in heaven and earth, Retired Traveler,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Amen to that! 

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."
War With Honour, 1940 ~ A.A. Milne
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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@Liltman wrote:

Going from being a respected manager with anywhere from 12 to 75 people under you to a retiree is traumatic.  .. 


When a new executive took over our facility, he had an orientation, for people to get to know him. I worked in a business where most management personnel put in 10 - 12 hrs/day to keep up. This new VP mentioned going to the funeral of an equally successful peer, where very few people were there. His point was that work is great & fulfilling, but it's only friends & family who'll be around after you retire, so everyone needs to create their own network of friends, and not fall into the trap of only focusing on work for 40 years.


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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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Message 7 of 16

Going from being a respected manager with anywhere from 12 to 75 people under you to a retiree is traumatic.  But, having the freedom to do whatever I want compensates for it.  Declining health, limitations in movement and activities can add to depression.  You have to accept what comes your way and make the best of things. I can no longer catch large fish because of my heart condition.  But I still enjoy fishing for the smaller species.   Being involved socially and mentally keeps depression away. Loneliness is an enemy.   Happy Hours also help. 

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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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@Soosie wrote:
PattyDiane......I loved reading this story about your dad. He knew how to live his life. I hope that will be said about me.

Soosie

I agree with all of the women who have posted their thoughts.  I am not going to "slam" Retired Traveler for his remarks but I think he has taken for granted that every person with a diagnosis of clinical depression is treated with drugs.  This really isn't so.  Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IBT) are sometimes enough, depending upon the type of depression (and there are many categories of depression and depressive behavior) and whether or not there is an actual chemical imbalance in the brain.   Chemical imbalances can cause the symptoms of depression and there are actual physical diagnoses of illnesses that can precipitate depression as a part of their influence on the body.

 

There are several types of anti-depressants which may be used, if necessary, according to the symptomatology and the actual type of depression the patient has.  Clinical depression is not a character defect or failing on the part of the patient.  It is a real illness with real treatment.  Though many people feel that they can "man up," grit their teeth and make it through, the reality is that if their depression is not treated it may linger and worsen to the point of suicidal thoughts and unfortunately they might act upon them.  Below is an article which might be helpful.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/major-depression/overview.html

 

(My opinions are informed by and based on >10 years as a suicide crisis counselor and experience with the families of suicide victims and with those who have attempted suicide and survived.)

 

~  Mimi

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."
War With Honour, 1940 ~ A.A. Milne
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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PattyDiane......I loved reading this story about your dad. He knew how to live his life. I hope that will be said about me.

Soosie
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Re: The Secret Sadness of Retired Men

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This is one area where I was very proud of my father.  I thought he would be bored silly when he retired.  After finishing only the 9th grade in school, he took some night courses and spent most of his adult life self-employed in the air-conditioning/refrigeration business,  He considered it being semi-retired when he ceased working for himself and became the head of the maintenance department at Georgia State University, in charge of their AC/heating systems.  He worked until he was 68 and retired the same time as my mother.

 

They took a few bus trips but mainly my father decided to enlarge his garden and orchard,  Among other hobbies, his electric train, lots of reading (especially history books), he became a wine-maker using the grapes he grew after my mother refused to make another jar of jelly.  He stayed healthy and active until he was stricken with ALS at the age of 78.

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