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Re: Old Flames on Social Media

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@Prosecco6247 - when I was in my 20s & early 30s, I was attracted to men in their late 30s; probably at their best physical condition, and their professional success (I may also subconsciously been looking for father figures). But in my late 30s, I met someone only a few months older than me, and experienced that "same frame of reference" you mentioned in your post, which was very nice. We could talk about all the things we remembered as kids, having watched the same TV series, experienced similar teaching methods in school, and had gone thru the same horrible current events at the same age (2 Kennedy & the King assassinations).


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Well, now you've piqued my interest!  The reason I say this is that since I've been single, the persons I attract are never my own age.  

 

Even at the grocery store, I seem to be quite approachable and the age range never varies.  (I've never gone out with any grocery store lotharios!)

 

When I have dated, they are either 10-12 years younger or about 10 years older.  I've thought about it a lot and I honestly don't know why this is.

 

Personally, while I enjoy looking at attractive men and receiving attention from them, actual looks are not that important to me in a relationship.  An intelligent man with a good personality, demonstrated kindness, the ability to converse on a number of topics, interest in the world around him, generosity of spirit and a love of animals & children goes a long way toward winning my admiration, if not my heart.  It helps if he likes to travel and enjoys a wide range of activities.

 

I've also found that I gravitate towards a certain "type" but that doesn't eliminate anyone else.

 

The biggest problem I've found with the wide range of ages is that the younger ones lack the same frame of reference as "baby-boomer" me and the older ones seem to be more set in their ways and less likely to enjoy spontaneous activities.

 

I'm not looking but I never say "never."  If the real thing comes along, I'll let nature take it's course.  For now, being single is fine with me.  Woman Wink

 

 

 

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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@Prosecco6247 - There have been other discussions in Online Community, about large age differences between people, and that ties in with this. While a young woman in her early 20s might be very impressed by a successful, good-looking man 15 to 20 years her senior (think Queen Victoria & Lord M. Smiley Happy), when she gets to be 60 & he's almost 80, it may not be so attractive seeing him again .. even if he's "aged well" for someone in their late 70s!


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@ASTRAEA wrote:

Happy Valentine's Day, Singles! Would any of you like to share about old flames you've checked out more recently on social media? How well have they aged .. or not?


Happy Valentine's Day!  I've never been tempted to look up old flames on social media. When I'm done, I'm done!  Besides, I live in the general area where I grew up and I run into people from time to time.  (I've lived in other states and traveled a bit so it's not as if I've been cloistered.)  

 

I've never really been surprised by the way anyone's turned out.  I wish I had an interesting story to tell but I really don't.  Must be the climate...everyone seems to have aged well.  LOL!

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Happy Valentine's Day, Singles! Would any of you like to share about old flames you've checked out more recently on social media? How well have they aged .. or not?


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There was a fellow —way back in the stone ages when I was single— with whom I briefly shared a potent chemical reaction. I was fresh out of high school and interning at a PBS station; he was a director there. We talked about my desire not to parent. He said he was of the same ilk, so I agreed to a date. When, before we’d ordered, he presented me with a diamond and opal ring, well, I felt he was trying to acquire me and that meant there could be no partnership as obviously we had very different views of what life could be. So that ring ended the attraction. We later worked together on a couple of political campaigns, and I could see his utter brilliance, but was also relieved our lives went in decidedly different ways, as I had no desire to live in DC. So whew, right?

 

The whews keep coming: just last month, as I was sorting items in my weaving studio, I found something that had belonged to his grandmother, whom I had come to know during my fiber artist days. So I looked him up on LinkedIn in order to return said item.

 

Shock of shocks, that once quite trim cyclists’ body now more closely resembles an overstuffed duffel bag. His doughy face tells the story of his ill health. He has gone far in his political career, and apparently has raised a loving family … but all I can say is Hallelujah! and Thank You Jesus! for me knowing myself and my life’s desire at an early age. It saved me from mistaking chemical attraction for love and ownership for partnership.

 

And never the twain shall meet. Whew, whew, and whew again. Smiley Happy

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Old Flames on Social Media

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OK .. how many of you have looked up "old flames" on Facebook or other social media, to see how well they've aged, and what they're doing these days? We're talking about simple curiosity, not stalking here! Smiley Happy

 

 

The other day I looked up the 2 loves of my life on FB. The first one was about 10 - 12 years older than me, and in his prime when I was in my mid-20s. That would make him about 75 now, and I almost didn't recognize the one photo of him with his current wife (who looked a LOT better). The second one is only a few months older than me, and looked pretty much as I remembered him. But all of his pictures were with grandchildren & his current wife. It reminded me that I LIKE my "adult lifestyle", and might not have been that happy, having my life revolve around someone else's passel of grandchildren.


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