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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 61 of 66

I live close to my family and I do a lot of things with them, but like you most of my friend socializing is through work. After I retire I will look for more person involvement in volunteering.  If I relocate which I may I will face the same issues as you.  

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 62 of 66

Hi Janet, I can relate to your situation! I've lived on my own since the early 1980s .. about 35 years, and am happy with that arrangement. I've lived in a few suburbs in NJ, within commuting distance to NYC, where I worked. Because most of the employees were scattered, none of my work friends lived close enough to me, to socialize regularly. Before I moved to the shore, I thought my current location had more singles > 55, but 95% of the people I know are married, and even the the widows/divorcees are involved with children & grandchildren.

 

I'm an introvert, and am happier with a few very good friends, than a large posse of them (or "squad"). I wouldn't want to live in an isolated area though, because I do enjoy the theater, and attend a show at some regional venue about once a month. I've been involved in various organizations, but outside of their activities, there are very few who've become personal good buddies.

 

I like living in a single family home, rather than a development with restrictions. I would definitely consider downsizing, if I could find a place in a thriving downtown area, with everything in walking distance .. if such a place exists in NJ.


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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 63 of 66

I have not totally discounted the notion of moving.  I have to find the energy to do so though.  Selling your home, keeping it "perfect" for the showings...packing up and moving...that takes lots of energy.  I am working up to that I think and maybe needing to move closer to my sister and her family or looking at an over 55 community as another possibility. 

Thank you for the story...it helps to know that others have worked through this successfully.

Jypsy Janet
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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 64 of 66

I can only give one anecdotal example from one of my relatives (i'm married so don't have personal experience). This is pretty much the same response doglover gave.

    She ended up moving into a condo, back in a populated area. There is a local, large, health club with all kinds of classes that many seniors participate in. She has created a new circle of friends by going to the various classes. There is a group that go out together. Also, got into an art class and met some more seniors. Does volunteering at an animal shelter and met some more people.

   You may have to examine where you live and make a change. I know, easy to say and I don't know anything about your background, or how difficult it might be to live in a less rural area. As I said, one example from someone I know.   

   


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 65 of 66

 Hi Janet,I'm the only member of my family who chose to stay&live here in my hometown,Buffalo,NY because of my job,worked in local hospital as pharm tech part time for 27yrs.

Over the years,I've made friends,some of very close to me ,they are my 'Bflo family',I see them all the time,some are close 'church friends". I would be lost without them in my life.

When I was working,on my 2 days off,I would volunteer in the mornings,still continue doing it since I've been retired.I like to stay busy.

Aren't there any local clubs you could join? I think this would help you interact with others who share the same interests as you do,won't feel so isolated? Sue

 

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Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 66 of 66

Would love to hear others thoughts on this topic...

 

I work full time as a nurse so I have a lot of social interaction there, but am not socially active with co-workers as very few are: 1. single and 2. over 50.  I live out in the country, alone. I do not have children.    And do many activities alone such as hiking, riding my motorcycle, camping. 

 

I do not feel lonely,  but I worry that I am isolating myself and may regret not being more social as I age.  Particularly after I retire ( still 9 years away).I do have a few friends, but they don't live particularly close by, and I do make sure to get out with them 2 or 3 times a month.  I am not religious and joining a church isn't an option for me. 

 

What are you other single folks doing?  Give me some advice!  Thanks.

 

Jypsy Janet

 

Jypsy Janet
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