Loneliness or alone-ness

[Prosecco6247]

I am truly sorry to hear about your difficulties.  You seem to have a lot on your plate right now and are too weary to make a move.

As far as qualifying for help...have you made an appointment with your city or town's Social Services Dept?  You should request an interview to be evaluated for whatever services are available through them. 

First off, have you made an application for food stamps (EBT card)?  Certainly you may qualify for some assistance there. 

Medical care?  If you are on Social Security Disability, shouldn't you qualify for Medicaid or Medicare?  If you are on Medicaid, your prescriptions can be obtained at a discounted rate, depending upon your state's Medicaid arrangement.  If no assistance is available, you should get in touch with the pharmaceutical company that manufactures your drugs. 

They usually have assistance programs to supply Rx drugs at reduced prices or free of cost. 

Counseling for your anxiety may be available through your local Public Health Dept.  They may be able to help you with drug costs if you are on any anti-anxiety drugs.

Have you checked to see if there is a shelter for battered women & their children in your town?  The may be able to give you some helpful information for women like you who have left an abusive marriage...particularly outreach programs to help you re-integrate into society.

The YMCA may offer programs as well.  Your city recreation department may be able to give you information on services for seniors.  You need to be active with your fibromyalgia in order to prevent flares and maintain your mobility.  Some senior centers have exercise rooms and fitness classes as well as offering a luncheon meal to seniors who gather there for fellowship.  There may also be classes for hobbies which might interest you.  Art classes, knitting, crocheting, sewing, cards & bingo, day trips to local areas of interest such as museums & parks.

AARP has a local presence in many areas.  Check this website and see if there is one near you.  They may have other suggestions for you.

Astraea's suggestion about calling the church ahead of time is an excellent one

This is a pretty lengthy list to get started with.  Just take it one step at a time...with the same resolve you used to become a member of this board and make your very first post.  Good luck!  Each new contact will lead you to others.  Before you know it, you will find yourself all plugged in to your newest adventure!

[ASTRAEA]

@v936580h - I'm so sorry to hear about the situation you're in! Some places have "displaced homemaker" programs, for women getting out of dangerous or otherwise bad marriages .. maybe you can look for something like that in your area, and see if there are any support programs.

Can you call the church & ask if they have any "fragrance free" areas for services; I know that a lot of people have sensitivities, and they might be aware of that & accommodating.

Congratulations on taking the first step, out of your bad relationship!

[v936580h]

Last October 2016 I ran from an unsafe 12 year marriage.

I am 54 years old and live by myself now.

I am Disabled with severe fibromyalgia, anxiety/ panic attacks, asthma and allergies.

My social security disability check is just enough to pay my rent, phone, some medicine and food.

I don't quality for any medical help or prescription coverage.

I go to food banks when I have gas money to go.

I currently have .39 cents to last me 4 more days.

I don't know anybody. My last relationship kept me isolated to the house.

I am still isolated to my current place I'm staying because I have no one to help me.

I have no money for gas, food, medicines.

All I have is my phone. I listen to self help videos. I am so weak, and fearful of my tomorrow- I don't have strength to get dressed.

I would like to go to church. I have allergies to the perfumes and hairsprays and no way to get there. I look up services and songs on u- tube. I am afraid to be touched because of past gramma. But I strongly want to be healed of that and wish I could have someone to talk to.

[nyadrn]

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@em869 wrote:

When my husband died, along with grief, I found new freedom: I could cook when I wanted to and nap when I wanted to, paint the walls any color I wanted to...but after a few years, I got lonely. I missed having someone to tell my good news to, missed someone who knew how to fix the computer and change ceiling light bulbs. I did go to church, I was in a writers group, enjoyed Netflix Facebook...but had no live person to share the little day-to-day happenings with. Also, when my husband died, my income was cut in half, and with the increasing living costs, finances were getting tight. My daughter lived many states away and kept urging me to come live with her and her husband. Not wanting to be the classic "mother-in-law", I kept my condo while trying out a new living arrangement, staying with them 8 months. We got along fine. In fact, I was able to go to many more interesting activities with them and I took care of their cats when they went on occasional overnight trips. I sold my house and invested half the money in an annuity, guaranteeing I would not outlive my bank account. The three of us figured out what added expense I caused by living with them, the food and utilities, and I write a check for that amount each month. I pay for my own meals when we eat out. Having given up driving, I've learned to use a local cab company. I have a large bedroom and bathroom which I decorated with my own stuff and have settled in nicely. Lonely no longer.

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Wow  congrats!  What a smart way to make the change.. do a trial run and see how things go.  I am glad it worked out for you and that you are happy with the change and mostly that you are lonely no more 

[em869]

When my husband died, along with grief, I found new freedom: I could cook when I wanted to and nap when I wanted to, paint the walls any color I wanted to...but after a few years, I got lonely. I missed having someone to tell my good news to, missed someone who knew how to fix the computer and change ceiling light bulbs. I did go to church, I was in a writers group, enjoyed Netflix Facebook...but had no live person to share the little day-to-day happenings with. Also, when my husband died, my income was cut in half, and with the increasing living costs, finances were getting tight. My daughter lived many states away and kept urging me to come live with her and her husband. Not wanting to be the classic "mother-in-law", I kept my condo while trying out a new living arrangement, staying with them 8 months. We got along fine. In fact, I was able to go to many more interesting activities with them and I took care of their cats when they went on occasional overnight trips. I sold my house and invested half the money in an annuity, guaranteeing I would not outlive my bank account. The three of us figured out what added expense I caused by living with them, the food and utilities, and I write a check for that amount each month. I pay for my own meals when we eat out. Having given up driving, I've learned to use a local cab company. I have a large bedroom and bathroom which I decorated with my own stuff and have settled in nicely. Lonely no longer.

[nyadrn]

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@rfayhallock wrote:

Me too. I am retired. We two r retired grandparents.  Since I had to give up my drivers license loneliness etc hit me like a big brick in the face. For a long time I depended on reading Ebooks. I have no hearing in my right ear and I can barely hear, even with a hearing aid, in the left ear.. I am a reitired **bleep** teacher.

My wife does better. She is a retired speech pathologist. I am 83. 

86327

Bob

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Bob

More and more people use car services  like uber.  Maybe you could plan to get out once a week with a friend who drives or think of other options!

[nyadrn]

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@Calhounwoman wrote:

@nyadrn AARP's "Create the GOOD" page offers a listing of volunteer opportunities in or near your area (depending on where you live) when you key in your zip code.

It's amazing the types of activities, skills, talent, and experience, these requests for volunteers are asking/searching for.

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Yes no doubt a good resource.  When I retire I will think about these various opportunities.

[Calhounwoman]

@nyadrn AARP's "Create the GOOD" page offers a listing of volunteer opportunities in or near your area (depending on where you live) when you key in your zip code.

It's amazing the types of activities, skills, talent, and experience, these requests for volunteers are asking/searching for.

[rfayhallock]

Me too. I am retired. We two r retired grandparents.  Since I had to give up my drivers license loneliness etc hit me like a big brick in the face. For a long time I depended on reading Ebooks. I have no hearing in my right ear and I can barely hear, even with a hearing aid, in the left ear.. I am a reitired **bleep** teacher.

My wife does better. She is a retired speech pathologist. I am 83. 

86327

Bob

[ASTRAEA]

@SassiLady - It was just an observation I made, about a couple of meetings I attended. I have been a caregiver too many times, to want to belong to any organization, where all the other members are 20+ years older than I am, only a few used e-mail, and most were married.

Since I bought my first house 32 years ago, I was in "married with children" suburbs. I found that anyone who had children still at home had their activities revolve around the children's interests & needs, and had no adult interests or free time for themselves. Fine for them, but that doesn't make for good "activity buddies" with a retiree.