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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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"The Dodo" is one of my favorite websites!  I love these video images of mom & baby animals...and so timely...Mother's Day will be here before you know it!  (Yes, friends...winter will soon be over!)

 

Yes, these animals can teach us a lot about parenting and the video had some great examples!  A sweet reminder of what moms do for their children.

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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I just saw this on FB, and thought it was appropriate for this discussion: "We'd Be Nowhere Without Our Moms"


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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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@Mariella2019 - Welcome to Singles Perspective Revisited; glad you jumped into the conversation!


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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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My dad passed away when I was 18. He was 58. My mom is now 95, still doing fine but I am thousands of miles away. I  visit her and call her often.  She lives with my brother, and lucky her, my sis-in-law is chief nurse of a hospital. I am single again, so I can spend more months with her. Planning to see her in two months.

 

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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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@mg91626868 wrote:

I cried harder when my dog died than my mom.


I am sorry for both of those losses.

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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My mother lived past her 99th birthday.  As my sister put it "she was not an easy person to love" and our relationship was never that close, although at times it was better than others.  The last time I saw her was about 2 years before her death and I don't think she recognized me, although she didn't admit it.  I was with another of my sisters and I think she realized we were her daughters but not certain which ones.  I'll have to admit I was relieved when she had to go into a nursing home and it was decided to send her to one all the way across the country where there were actually more relatives to visit her, etc.

 

I have to say I don't really miss her since it seems I lost her several years before she actually died.  I have some fond memories of the periods when things seemed good between us and wish those times could have lasted longer.

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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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I remember attending a bereavement group sponsored by a large local church (open to all), after my Mom died. My mother had been battling cancer her entire retirement, and the last few months were pretty awful for her. I was 50 at the time. I was surprised when one 40-something single woman - also there after the loss of her mother - said that she couldn't even function, she was so upset. She said she was lucky to have several siblings who handled everything. I think I grew up in a family that grew used to handling illness & death gracefully.

 

I probably began missing my Mom 5 to 10 years after she died, when I was no longer a caregiver for anyone, and the stress of her long illness lifted from me.


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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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I lost my mom when I was just 23 years old and I have missed er every day since then.  All of the great milestones in life a girl wants to share with her mother...I really didn't get to do that.  Yes, sure, a couple of major ones but after that, nothing...it left me with a strange feeling of emptiness and a sadness that no one could fill.  I missed her even more because I was the oldest of six children and the rest of them were boys.  Not even a sister with whom I could share my feelings! 

 

It left me in a strange position with my brothers since they were younger.  They began to look at me as a surrogate mom.  I had always "looked after" my brothers as a help to my mother, so I'm sure those feelings were only natural.  The youngest was only seven, so it was 14 years before he was independent.

 

My dad died when I was in my mid-forties.  Metastatic cancer.  He had treatment that prolonged his life to a degree and lived at home with assistance from one of my brothers, but they lived in another state and I had to put my life on old and make frequent trips to "tweak" everything since I had power of attorney and would eventually be his executor.  I usually stayed two weeks at a time.  The airline miles racked up.  When the time came, he developed pneumonia, spent a couple of days in the hospital and was put into hospice care.  He died two weeks later.  It was a blessing after 18 months of living with a serious illness.  Not that there weren't bright spots.  We took him out as often as possible, even a short trip to New Orleans where he reminisced and talked about the changes since his WWII days.  We brought him back to VA for burial as per his wishes...so Mom and Dad are not very far from me now.

 

What freaks me out a bit is that I am now older than either one of them ever got to be.  For those of you who know of my interest in genealogy, I started it all with my dad when I was twenty.  We belonged to the local genealogy society and learned a lot together.  He was also a very talented artist...something that was inherited by two of his grandchildren!

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: How Many of Us Still Have Parents Alive?

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mg91626868 wrote:

I cried harder when my dog died than my mom.

 

There will be some here who might express shock at your statement, but I've heard it many times before.  The love of a dog is so pure and unconditional.  They will do anything for their masters and mistresses...even if they are neglected and abused. 

 

Naturally, love for our parents is what most of us feel and we mourn their loss.  We grieve and wish they were here with us still, for the most part.  Honesty is important, though, and if our relationships weren't that great or that close, it's important to acknowledge it to ourselves and sometimes we may even confide in others or talk about it to a therapist or on an anonymous message board.  It's not that uncommon in my experience.

 

Just throwing this out for discussion...or perhaps no comments at all. 


 

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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I cried harder when my dog died than my mom.

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