5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Message 11 of 43

I think that singles feel their aloneness..  you are responsible for everything yourself unless of course you have a supportive family and or friends which thankfully many of us do.  However as we age, so do our friends and sometimes family is far away and we may reach a point where we have to answer that question of "If something happened and I was house bound or needed assistance, who could I count on?"

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Message 12 of 43

@ASTRAEA wrote:

@dl73698250 wrote:


These problems seem to be the same even when not alone. The problem we all face, I think, is what to do when we're through with life but life's not through with us.

 


You may not have meant your comment that way, but it comes across as dismissive of issues singles who live alone face, that others don't .. unless they're caregivers for someone who can't help them.


I'm really glad you brought this up. I hope you allow me the opportunity to explain; it's important. A big problem with health care is that too many people think that the same problem requires the same solution. If more people would understand the difference between being "precise" and "pollitically correct", then a more precise "problem identification" would result in a more precise solution, and more workable for that person. The problem with the new President-Elect, is that he has a low tolerence for "Pollitical Correctness" and will more likely dismiss "Precision" along with it (and he's not the only one). So, if the person in need presents the problem in a way that's easy to identify as being different, then a different solution will more likely be easier to obtain/harder-to-avoid. For instance, if you presented the "singles problem" as being "no help available for the same problem" instead of giving the same problem that non-singles give, then the problem of "no help available" would be addressed instead of being dismissed as "why is there a problem; nobody else has that problem?" By presenting the problem like everybody else, you catagorize yourself as everybody else; therefore, the person you're talking to will more than likely do likewise, and dismiss your special needs. Get it? If you ask the wrong question, you're 100% gauranteed to get the wrong answer. And if you present the wrong problem, then someone who's not as smart as me won't catch the real problem.

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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Message 13 of 43

@ASTRAEA wrote:

@dl73698250 wrote:


These problems seem to be the same even when not alone. The problem we all face, I think, is what to do when we're through with life but life's not through with us.

 


You may not have meant your comment that way, but it comes across as dismissive of issues singles who live alone face, that others don't .. unless they're caregivers for someone who can't help them.


What I meant was that people who are not alone face those same problems; they're not unique to singles. The solution might be different, but the problem is the same.

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Message 14 of 43

@dl73698250 wrote:


These problems seem to be the same even when not alone. The problem we all face, I think, is what to do when we're through with life but life's not through with us.

 


You may not have meant your comment that way, but it comes across as dismissive of issues singles who live alone face, that others don't .. unless they're caregivers for someone who can't help them.


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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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@nyadrn wrote:

@ASTRAEA wrote:

 

Do you realize how limiting it is not to be able to bend a thumb, or put any pressure to hold something between your thumb & index finger .. and on your dominant hand?! By weekend, the swelling had gone down & most of the black & blue almost gone .. but I still can't put much pressure on the tip or pad of the thumb. I tried to peel a quartered orange the other night, but finally gave up ..


>

@ASTRAEA  

On top of the list of my fears about living alone if I was not near family would be injury.  Not just the injury itself ( God willing it was not major)  but lifestyle limitations, even if temporary, that would prevent you from being alone.  Glad your injury was not as bad as it might have been but it is a good reminder of just how easily something could happen.  

 

Two different friends of mine have had recent issues with their mother's becoming unable to live alone.  The first had to find a permanent facilitiy quickly and the other is utilizing companion services and having her mother stay with her.


These problems seem to be the same even when not alone. The problem we all face, I think, is what to do when we're through with life but life's not through with us.

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@nyadrn - I had my accident in the kitchen of Mom's split level (with stairs all over), while I was waiting for the estate sale people to come over & talk about running a sale for me. I had to crawl to the front steps (inside), and go down on my rear end, to unlock the door for them .. and sit there until they showed up. The woman called the local volunteer ambulance group, to get me to the hospital, and her husband was good enough to drive my car home for me!


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Message 17 of 43

@ASTRAEA wrote:

@nyadrn - I think that being single & living alone (successfully) for years, makes us very resourceful & independent!

 

Shortly after my Mom died & my 88-year old aunt moved in with me, I fractured the heel bone on my right foot while cleaning up around my Mom's house so it could be put on the market. My foot/leg was in a non-load-bearing cast, but I had to make things as normal as possible, for my aunt. I got around the house using a walker, rather than crutches, so I could put things in a small basket & still cook & take care of things. I even took the garbage down the shorter outdoor stairs, hopping backwards down the steps, with my walker folded up & slung over a shoulder! I didn't want to risk my aunt doing it & losing her balance .. you heal faster at 50 than 88!


I do agree that we become resourceful and independent..  esp if you like living alone which I do.

 

My injuries included an injured muscle and tendon in my lower back which hardly allowed me to get up for a week or so and limited my movements for a few weeks.  Without help it would not have been good.

 

You were a real trooper!  

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Message 18 of 43

@nyadrn - I think that being single & living alone (successfully) for years, makes us very resourceful & independent!

 

Shortly after my Mom died & my 88-year old aunt moved in with me, I fractured the heel bone on my right foot while cleaning up around my Mom's house so it could be put on the market. My foot/leg was in a non-load-bearing cast, but I had to make things as normal as possible, for my aunt. I got around the house using a walker, rather than crutches, so I could put things in a small basket & still cook & take care of things. I even took the garbage down the shorter outdoor stairs, hopping backwards down the steps, with my walker folded up & slung over a shoulder! I didn't want to risk my aunt doing it & losing her balance .. you heal faster at 50 than 88!


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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Message 19 of 43

@ASTRAEA wrote:

 

Do you realize how limiting it is not to be able to bend a thumb, or put any pressure to hold something between your thumb & index finger .. and on your dominant hand?! By weekend, the swelling had gone down & most of the black & blue almost gone .. but I still can't put much pressure on the tip or pad of the thumb. I tried to peel a quartered orange the other night, but finally gave up ..


>

@ASTRAEA  

On top of the list of my fears about living alone if I was not near family would be injury.  Not just the injury itself ( God willing it was not major)  but lifestyle limitations, even if temporary, that would prevent you from being alone.  Glad your injury was not as bad as it might have been but it is a good reminder of just how easily something could happen.  

 

Two different friends of mine have had recent issues with their mother's becoming unable to live alone.  The first had to find a permanent facilitiy quickly and the other is utilizing companion services and having her mother stay with her.

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: 5 Problems You Only Face While Living Alone (and How to Deal with Them)

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Message 20 of 43

Last Tuesday, I had an accident at home; a very dumb & avoidable situation .. and it reminded me of how even a "small" injury can affect daily life. I was in the bathtub when a large "bug" flew in; without my glasses I wasn't sure what it was .. but I hate bugs! When I got out of the tub, it landed on the floor, and seizing the moment, I threw a towel on it, and quickly hit the towel with what I thought was the strong butt of my hand. Excrutiating pain .. I'd jammed my right thumb against the tile floor! I saw stars .. literally .. as my BP dropped instantly from the pain.

 

Long story short, the finger swelled, and the 1st joint from the tip of the finger to knuckle turned black & blue, over the next few days. Even the tiniest pressure on the pad of the finger sent pain up through it. I decided to hold off going to a doctor, thinking it might just be a soft tissue injury, rather than something broken/fractured.

 

Do you realize how limiting it is not to be able to bend a thumb, or put any pressure to hold something between your thumb & index finger .. and on your dominant hand?! By weekend, the swelling had gone down & most of the black & blue almost gone .. but I still can't put much pressure on the tip or pad of the thumb. I tried to peel a quartered orange the other night, but finally gave up ..


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