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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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I believe I gave very constructive advice to this unfortunate person. It was not criticism.

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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:
I would do the following: 1. change his phone number to unlisted. 2. Get onto the "NOMOROBO" website and sign up your dad's phone to block robocalls- it's free. 3. Establish a dual signature checking account with your dad- both of you must sign before the check is negotiable. Establish with your dad's bank that his account is draw limited- meaning he can get $250 or so anytime he wants it, but anything above that has to be cleared with you. Your dad will have to agree to do that, but if he refuses, follow the advice of others on here and get a guardianship established. 4. I have heard that it is possible to have a dual ring on your dad's phone- when he gets a call his phone rings, and yours does too. Not sure if that is legal, and it may be imopractical but that would be a great way to intercept these scumbags from stealing from your dad.
Posted by lumerm

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One of the best responses so far for accuracy in the advice and for ease of implementation.
The dual signature is an urgent must and as said, if your father does not agree to it, file for gardianship. It should be easy to have it granted in your case: The facts speak for themselves.
If you need more ongoing advice please feel free to email: ahgmanagement@nc.rr.com. I am a paralegal, not an attorney but I have had a similar experience and my acting promptly and firmly saved the person's way of life.
Take heart and take action now.
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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:
I had a client who was scammed over 1 million dollars and left in poverty. The son refused to get involved, but was blaming everyone else over the loss. Number one call the police. Secondly, it is probably a case for the FBI as the crime has probably crossed state and country lines. My clieny's scam artisit worked off of lonelness and out of a boiler room in Canada. The FBI had her name on a sucker list. Please step up to the plate and act. He needs your help NOW. Get his phone number changed to unlisted.
Posted by mahjongg43

Yes.  Do step up to the plate.  Your father may be angry but this is about his well-being.  There is a time for childrn to step in and this is it.  Truth is he may be suffering from serius cognitive issues.  That happened to my mother-in-law.  She masked things very well until things went wrong in a big way.  Family moved fast to get a physician and power of attorney and the bank involved. 
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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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I know of an 82-year-old man who was lured into a marriage by a Columbian woman who was in the country illegally.  As soon as they were legally married, she sold his house, liquidated all his investments and cleaned out his bank account before taking everything back to Columbia where she has a home.  He lost everything to the tune of over $5-million.  His son and daughter were pre-occupied with their own lives and left him to his own devices.  Now their inheritence is totally wiped out.  The Columbian woman was working as a cleaning lady, but she is now living like a queen.  These things happen all the time.  It's a shame, but it should be a lesson for sons and daughters to take more of an interest in their aging parents.  I'd very much like AARP to make publicizing these issues more of a priority to educate seniors and their heirs.  I'm 73, and I manage not only my own finances but also my daughter's finances.  I've taken it upon myself to include my daughter in everything I do, not only for myself but also for her.  She knows my thinking on making financial decisions, and I've set everything up to make it as simple as possible for her to continue on the same course I've set.  Once the money is gone, it's gone.  Period.  There's no way to get it back in nearly all cases. 
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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:

In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything! : Well said Bro.  Completely agree1
Posted by 2Papa

 

This was an inconsiderate response. You don't know the circumstances of these peoples lives, and why they lived far apart. If you are going to say something to someone in trouble and need, give constructive advice, not  criticism.

 

I suggest looking at the website www.benefits.org  - it's a source of information for those in financial diffuculty

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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:

In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything! : Being in good physical health is no protection against dementia.  Clearly,  your father is not capable of handling his own affairs anymore.  Even though you live 11 hours away you must make arrangments to have power of attorney signed over to you,  or some other responsible,  trustworthy person.  Then you will be in charge of receipt of his social security benefits and paying his monthly bills.  If he has indeed impoverished himself by losing his nest egg,  he should be eligible for many assistance programs,  food stamps,  energy assistance,  property tax credits,  etc.  If your father refuses to sign over a P.O.A. then  you must petition the local court to order guardianship of his affairs.  This should not be difficult as you have ample evidence he cannot handle his financial affairs anymore and was scammed out of a great deal of money.  Please don't delay.  Matters will only get worse if he continues to have unrestricted access to his funds.   Good luck  to you.  
Posted by drawpoker

Excellent advise. Try the website www.ben.orgs  It will help you to find sources of public assistance that your father may be eligible for

 

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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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In Response to Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:
Personally I think it is very sad that your father "lost everything". It is also very sad that you are of meager financial means. However the saddest part of the story is that he has "no family" nearby. The first question I have for you is why do you live so far away from him? Is it out of necessity that you do? I never lliked the idea of living very far from my parents while they were alive so many years ago. People in these United States once put family first, and career second. The only exception to this was military service which was once time limited except for "lifers". People today put career and economics first, and family second.The most important part of "being there" for an aging parent when they need you is physical accessibility. Being 11 hours away from your 82 year old father is not acceptable in my book. I come from a culture where the presence of an extended family at the home was normal. Today, the new normal is not even the "nuclear" family but members of your blood line being scatterred all over the place. People are even trying to redefine the meaning of family to include "friends", animals, and "married" partners of the same sex. It is sad that the meaning of family is being changed, and sad that our priorities are mixed up. If you want to know why elders fall prey to charlatans it is because they have no loved ones close by and they find love from crooks. That is why your father doesn't want to pursue the people that took his money. He has a bond to them. He loves them. Perhaps if you called the county office of aging where your father lives they may be able to help him. Be forewarned, however, because I have even seen office of aging folks swindle elders. Sometimes if you want something done right you must do it yourself.
Posted by DuckbilledPlatypus


Well said Bro.  Completely agree1

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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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The organization, A Place for Mom, has people who will help guide you. No charge.
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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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How stressfull.  Your parent sounds like he'd fall into the vulnerable adult classification.  I'd not be deterred by his insistance to leave it alone.  First I'd check with the Attorney General's Office in his state to decide if they can do anything and report the people he has been dealing with before they victimize someone else.  Next, like it or not you may need to check with an attorney, maybe a free consult or legal services which will at least listen and offer guidance.  Don't be reluctant to act.  It sounds like a chat with his treating physician is also in order.

In Response to What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!:
I am really lost and have no idea what to do now to help my very angry, defensive and embarrassed 82 year old father as he has lost around $250,000 in a sweepstakes scam! He is so suckered by these scum bags, even insisting they are his friends, that he doesn't even want me to report them to law enforcement! He lives 11 hours away from me and not near any family.he is is in good physical health. I have very limited resources and can't help him financially. He has nothing left but about $1500 a month in SS. I am so overwhelmed right now! Any advise would be much appreciated.. Is there someone I can report this to? His own bank asked him to leave because of their knowledge of his flings with the scam and are now threatening to sue him over a check he tried to deposit.
Posted by bk9083

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Re: What do I do now!? Dad lost everything!

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Message 10 of 22
Personally I think it is very sad that your father "lost everything". It is also very sad that you are of meager financial means.

However the saddest part of the story is that he has "no family" nearby. The first question I have for you is why do you live so far away from him? Is it out of necessity that you do? I never lliked the idea of living very far from my parents while they were alive so many years ago. People in these United States once put family first, and career second. The only exception to this was military service which was once time limited except for "lifers". People today put career and economics first, and family second.The most important part of "being there" for an aging parent when they need you is physical accessibility. Being 11 hours away from your 82 year old father is not acceptable in my book.

I come from a culture where the presence of an extended family at the home was normal. Today, the new normal is not even the "nuclear" family but members of your blood line being scatterred all over the place. People are even trying to redefine the meaning of family to include "friends", animals, and "married" partners of the same sex. It is sad that the meaning of family is being changed, and sad that our priorities are mixed up. If you want to know why elders fall prey to charlatans it is because they have no loved ones close by and they find love from crooks. That is why your father doesn't want to pursue the people that took his money. He has a bond to them. He loves them.

Perhaps if you called the county office of aging where your father lives they may be able to help him. Be forewarned, however, because I have even seen office of aging folks swindle elders. Sometimes if you want something done right you must do it yourself.
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