Marriage Dilemma

[kwing514]

My husband and I have been together for 33 years, married 27. Both are retired. We have no children. The dilemma is that we want entirely different things now that we are retired. I would love to be a "snowbird" and hit the highway toward a warmer climate, starting around November. He, on the other hand, is looking forward to winter activities.

This is the 3rd winter I have spent mostly indoors. Getting bundled up and going outside, avoiding the slippery steps, scraping ice and snow off the car puts me in a terrible mood. It's not pleasant to me at all. This has impaired our relationship to the point of me considering actually leaving all this behind. Why spend months hating my life?

I would love to sell our house and down-size to one with no upstairs, smaller yard to keep up and less taxes. This makes perfect sense to me. He will not even consider it.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? Did you work out a solution?

Signed Frozen

[cadreamer08]

WOW- Didn't you discuss any of this over the last 27 years???? Surley you let your feelings be known during these years.

  This is our 2nd marraige. Both our spouces are gone, so we had a lot ofthings to talk over and decide before we got married. . We both have 4 children and grandchildren. I have great grandchildren. Most live within 20 miles, So even though we would lke to sell and leave area , not an option. so we bought a 5th wheel.  We  both like different things, but we coprimise. In the summer when it is 100 degrees here in the valley we try to go to the coast because the heat gets to me. He loves the moutains and we go there when it is not hot up in the Sierras. He spends 6 or 7 weeks up there during hunting season when it is still in the 90's. I go stay with him occasionally even though I don't like the heat. I don't know how this can be a big suprise, you must have talked about it sometime,.  Or maybe you have been under his thumball these years, if so then this isn't a suprise for you.

[kwing514]

There is no problem finding a suitable place to spends winters. The problem is I will have to do it on my own and I am not in a financial situation where I can do that. If I had known this was going to happen I would have held off on retiring.

[nyadrn]

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@kwing514 wrote:

There is no problem finding a suitable place to spends winters. The problem is I will have to do it on my own and I am not in a financial situation where I can do that. If I had known this was going to happen I would have held off on retiring.

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Well it is kind of late to suggest research now. There are lots and lots of alternatives. Have you done research? 😀

[SIMPLEGAL]

We were stuck in a similar situation and decided to take a trip to "The Villages", Florida on one of their lifestyle preview plans ($99 a night).  It changed our life forever!  We are now happy living in a beautiful retirement community with warm weather and wonderful neighbors with plenty of activities.  You can send me a note if you'd like more info.

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@kwing514 wrote:

My husband and I have been together for 33 years, married 27. Both are retired. We have no children. The dilemma is that we want entirely different things now that we are retired. I would love to be a "snowbird" and hit the highway toward a warmer climate, starting around November. He, on the other hand, is looking forward to winter activities.

This is the 3rd winter I have spent mostly indoors. Getting bundled up and going outside, avoiding the slippery steps, scraping ice and snow off the car puts me in a terrible mood. It's not pleasant to me at all. This has impaired our relationship to the point of me considering actually leaving all this behind. Why spend months hating my life?

I would love to sell our house and down-size to one with no upstairs, smaller yard to keep up and less taxes. This makes perfect sense to me. He will not even consider it.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? Did you work out a solution?

Signed Frozen

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[nyadrn]

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@SIMPLEGAL wrote:

We were stuck in a similar situation and decided to take a trip to "The Villages", Florida on one of their lifestyle preview plans ($99 a night).  It changed our life forever!  We are now happy living in a beautiful retirement community with warm weather and wonderful neighbors with plenty of activities.  

......

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Just a reminder, there are hundreds of other communities all over the country.  They will all send you literature and many offer test stays.  

Look around and compare!!!!!