I read this thread twice and I still do not see who owns the house. If you own the house, and by you financing it through the VA that kind of intimates that YOU bought it, familiarize yourself with the term "eviction". YOU get to decide who lives in YOUR house. Never mind the "but he's my son" thing. By the description of his behavior toward you, he doesn't care about you AT ALL. Toss him, the girl, and whoever else lives there out and start fresh. (Personally I could NEVER have that many people live in my house - TWO other families? I live alone with my dog and will not have it any other way. Time to stand up and exert yourself. This is your home and you make the rules. The law says so. Evict the freeloader and get on with your life. All those medical things that you deal wiht will feel WAY better when your annoyance is gone.
If YOU are the sole-holder of the loan, especially if it is a VA loan, you have to sell the house and clear the loan. The VA only underwrites the loan with a guarantee up to the amount specified on your certificate. One of the conditions of the VA loan is that it is owner-occupied. The VA lender may have other specifications. Talk to your VA loan lender.
Plus if you are gonna be moving to a senior living facility - whether you rent or buy - that huge mortgage on your credit file isn't gonna do you any favor if money is at all an issue to you. Are you sure that it is an "independent" living facility that is best for you based on your health condition? Just think about your needs and make the next move the best for your physical and mental needs.
I agree with @st18688804 , if it is your house, they should be the ones that move out. If their abusive nature is severe, you need to call the Florida Adult (Senior) Protective Services or the Cops to help you.
To end your stress and get somewhere where you will be happier and better helped, you have to unravel the situation.
I just retired and was sitting around the apartment doing nothing.
So, when my Son came to me with this plan to apply for a veterans loan and move to Florida, it sounded like a pretty good idea.
going through the application stage the granted me $400.000.00.
My son flew to Florida and found a nice house for $397.000.00.
I bought it. we have Two other families living in the house, the rent was only $1,000.00 a month each to pay the lender.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, his "girlfriend was born and raised in Florida." "HUM"
The killer is they where nice and pleasant to me when I shard my Hugh apartment in New Jersey. The minute we stepped off the plane in West Pal Beach, things began to change, they treated me most horribly, I don't want to get into that right now, just believe me.
I was asked by my Son on 4 Occasions that I would be happier moving into a independent type Community with other Seniors, Heck I'm only 69 years old.
Today, I fee that it is not a bad idea.
Catch this, I have an older Son who lives in South Carolina, and he's been looking at places for me. The good thing is he is a "VERY GOOD DOCTOR", that would be advantageous to me because I have 5 Doctors here in Florida.
But first I need to unload this house, I proposed to sell it to him.
Get and Real Estate agent and put the house up for sale with out a lot of discussion, Use the money to move into a nice Senior Living facility. SC has great ones ...and the weather is better than Florida. All my friends who live living Senior facilities love it. Enjoy the rest of your without feeling your annoying or a burden to them. Good Luck