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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Living gay and volunteering in conservative country

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Message 1 of 5

BearonaBicycle wrote:
In 1 1/2 months, I will finish work and my weekly long distance commuting to the job. It is then that I will look for opportunities. I owe it to give it a try but at this age, I don't have any desire to tolerate unacceptable behavior. Thanks for your response.

I wish you every success and happiness.

 

Your new community will certainly be missing out if you find it necessary/wise/best to gift a far away city with your skills. I hope for all of you that mutually respectful working relationships can occur and further that these lead to meaningful friendships. (I don't know your location, but still doubt this new community is devoid of LBGTQ persons and Repubs with open minds.)

 

And hey, if all else fails, ditch the DF, get a recumbent, and join us as we work to inspire wider acceptance of competitive recumbent riding at state level Senior Games! (Goal: recumbent racing divisions at US Senior Olympics) Smiley Happy

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Gold Conversationalist

Re: Living gay and volunteering in conservative country

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Message 2 of 5
In 1 1/2 months, I will finish work and my weekly long distance commuting to the job. It is then that I will look for opportunities. I owe it to give it a try but at this age, I don't have any desire to tolerate unacceptable behavior. Thanks for your response.
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Living gay and volunteering in conservative country

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Message 3 of 5

Hiya,

 

I'm confused about your timeline. Are you saying you are looking for a group to become involved with for the next month and a half?

 

Well, anyway, I guess the timeline doesn't matter, because what I have to say would be the same. And it goes like this: Let's hear it for the misfits! Honestly, we are the ones having all the fun, right? Smiley Happy

 

You already know how to deal with people's stupidity, so I won't bother to comment on that. What I do want to suggest is that you just go right ahead and jump right in. Check out meetup groups in your new area, go to biking forums and member maps to find peeps.  DH and I are serious recumbent trike riders, and have been working on creating a national network of same, because in not too many more years we are hitting the road in an RV with our trikes intending to ride every rail to trail or otherwise bike trail out there in this great nation we call home. And we're doing it in no small part via meetup groups and online recumbent forums. I'm sure you could do the same with DF forums.

 

I wish you great fun in creating your new life. 

 

PS We are Republicans, voted for Trump, and you would be welcome at any of our events, groups, endeavors. We'd have no issue working with or for you. If you are bike-positive, you are our tribe. Politics are every bit as personal as who you love. So really, my best advice: throw your shoulders back, hold your chin up, remember your ps and qs and jump right in there. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised at the warm welcome.  Smiley Happy

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Living gay and volunteering in conservative country

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Message 4 of 5

I'm sorry when people say they feel unwelcome where they've moved .. whatever the reason. It's really a shame that - considering this was your husband's family farm - that he wasn't sufficiently aware of the local demographics/attitudes or done the research to ensure you'd both feel comfortable there.

 

Although it's not the same, I'd hoped that the area into which I planned to move had more singles, but that's not the case. Although I didn't mind not being in a very Jewish area, I'm in a very tiny minority with that too. I have nice neighbors & have friends, but no one I've really connected with like where I used to live.


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Living gay and volunteering in conservative country

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Message 5 of 5

Not sure where this post goes, but I suspect this one is a good choice. On February 1 I will be retired. I am fortunate to have invested well and had a very good job. That allows me to live “my dreams” in my retirement years and no longer spend my time in corporate America.

 

This fall my husband and I built our retirement home on his family’s farm. I know he wanted this more than anything. I have no close family near our old home and wanted him to live his dream. We moved from a major urban area 2 hours away to a very rural area 45 minutes from a large city.

 

This has been a difficult time for me. I thrived in the larger city environment. I was a member and leader in cycling and hiking groups. I had a large circle of friends, volunteered a lot and served on non-profit boards. I now feel isolated. I am an outgoing and extroverted person and know I need to build a new community here.

 

My retirement dream is to work on bicycle advocacy and rail trail advocacy. I served on non-profit cycling boards over the past 10 years. I saw myself devoting much more time and energy to make my new home community more cycling aware and helping them enjoy the benefits cycling brings to life.

 

I did some “scouting” this fall and attended meetings of two trail and cycling related groups. The people seemed nice enough. There is definite difference between urban and rural people. I am finding this as I send more time in this community.

 

I did the normal thing that folks do today. I Googled and Facebooked some of the leaders of these groups. What I found disturbed me. It was election time and I found very mean spirited and distasteful posts about Hillary Clinton and liberals.  I knew most folks (66%+) are conservative republicans. I am a liberal democrat.

 

I have always been able to look past politics. However, this election changed me. I now feel totally uninterested in helping these folks. I somehow feel they would not treat me well given that I am a liberal and a gay married man. It bothers me to make this assumption but I also know I need to respect and be respected by the people I volunteer with. I can’t see that happening.

 

I am considering volunteering in the larger city even though it is 45 minutes away. I always felt that each of us must work in our community to make it better. Working in a distant community flies in the face of that mentality.

 

Hs anyone else face  similar dilemma in retirement? I am just unhappy with my prospect of being happy here after January 31.

 

Thanks

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