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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 11 of 41

@cm2216799 wrote:

Thanks for your input.

I'm aging alone in Des Moines, IA.

I'm from Chicago, and I mean the city, we never had a car, and I never, ever believed I'd ever step foot into Iowa, let alone live here.

I'm not sure Chicago knew where Iowa was, except every four years when the presidential candidates would pose in front of hog or a barn.

Des Moines is a pleasant place, with nice people --- but for me it lacks dash, excitement. And big water.

People in Iowa are always talking about family values and it's a family oriented state.

I'm divorced and in Iowa, people  move two by two, like Noah's Ark.

Big families are the thing. And talking about them and posting about them.

I had another relationship here that mutually didn't work out, and I have gut feeling  I won't meet ayone from Iowa.

I'm not looking for anyone, I'm a pretty independent person.I'd love a small cottage or home, close enough to a city I could get there quickly, but with a kind of nice  small popiulation o fretired folks, or older folks who twant to talk about music and movies  and books and for me, The White Sox.

I have a wonderful daugher and son, my daughter has a job she loves but might move to Minnesota -- where I would folllow. Not on her block. As you said, The Senor Citizen Center gives me the creeps.

Age wise I'd fit, but anything else -- no way.

My son is in Chicago, and we're close, but that's too expensive. And I agree, I'm so tired hearing about when we do this and we do that and when we travel. Fine or the we's, but there are ones.


Hi

 

Do you have any update to your situation?

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 12 of 41

Hi, Nora

I was so glad to read your message.

We sound like we might be almost in the same posittion.

I was hinking about Portugal, in a way to really shake my senior yeaars and get out of the culture for a while.

But that is far away!

I can't remember what I wrote--I'd like to be able to see the ocean everyday, and have my expenses be slightly lower. I really don't want to go into the deep South, and North Carolina seems expenisve. As does the east coast.I don't want a house, I'm a city dweller and an apartment would be perfect.Or renting a small house. I suppose I'd like to find a smaller town, by the ocean, with a laid back style.

I did ask AARP to send me any information they have on best places to retire.

But I'm not quite sure what to do.

If you like, I can give you my email and we can communicate directly.

Cynthia Mercati

mercatiwriter@aol.com

 

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 13 of 41

Dear Nora -

Thanks so much for your post. I am in a similar situation and came in here looking for someone who might get it.

 

I also have no family. Great friends - but, with two exceptions, no less than 500 miles away.

 

I have the same concerns ... which sometimes escalate to the realm of panic. Particularly regarding medical care and emergencies. 

 

I really want to retire and am making plans to do so in a year. But the thing that gives me cold feet is that I would then be cutting the one major line of social outlet - if you can call it that. I'm not a joiner either. Never have been. But I'm so done with the job and the financial picture will allow me to go, if I so choose.

 

I have a really great home and gardens to care for. That is my deepest joyl It's kind of my hermitage. But there is so much press about "loneliness being the new smoking" in terms of health impacts. And keeping ones social outlets active to ward of dementia.

 

And then there are the logistics, as you've described. Who will respond for basic care needs when I get to that point?

 

Anyhow - I'm really glad to have a chance to share this with someone who might actually get it. Thanks for putting the post out there.

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 14 of 41
I feel for you for sure. I have recently found out my kids really don't give a rat's behind about me. All these years I missed that...how?
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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 15 of 41

There are many attractive things about FL -- but I'm a Blue State Liberal, and I don't think I'd be too welcome -- or fit in.

I'm from Chicago and and grew up on Chicago politics, so I've never learned and never will to keep my shut at a comment.

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 16 of 41

I don't have ideas.I'm sorry.

I've found out that the places Id like to live, in a rather artsy community, liberal, are way too expensive. Boston, Chicago, the farther out the circles go in Chicago it gets more expensive.

I wish my daughter would move with her boyfriend to Duluth, MN, where he is -- but only if she wants to. I love Duluth, as long as I have a garage I don't care about snow. I grew up in Chicago and we got wicked winters..

And thre's Lake Superior--I love it.

When I lived in Chicago, I loved ake Michgan.I miss diversity.

Someone I knew had a guided meditation and she envisioned  the house and exactly where she is  now -- Ireland. I'd love to live in Ireland myself, but can't claim one Irish relative. She also had money and seveal friend s went with her.

, --it's way too dry and just so vey very nice where I am -- can't expain it. I'd like to ove to a more intersting community.

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 17 of 41

Thanks for your input.

I'm aging alone in Des Moines, IA.

I'm from Chicago, and I mean the city, we never had a car, and I never, ever believed I'd ever step foot into Iowa, let alone live here.

I'm not sure Chicago knew where Iowa was, except every four years when the presidential candidates would pose in front of hog or a barn.

Des Moines is a pleasant place, with nice people --- but for me it lacks dash, excitement. And big water.

People in Iowa are always talking about family values and it's a family oriented state.

I'm divorced and in Iowa, people  move two by two, like Noah's Ark.

Big families are the thing. And talking about them and posting about them.

I had another relationship here that mutually didn't work out, and I have gut feeling  I won't meet ayone from Iowa.

I'm not looking for anyone, I'm a pretty independent person.I'd love a small cottage or home, close enough to a city I could get there quickly, but with a kind of nice  small popiulation o fretired folks, or older folks who twant to talk about music and movies  and books and for me, The White Sox.

I have a wonderful daugher and son, my daughter has a job she loves but might move to Minnesota -- where I would folllow. Not on her block. As you said, The Senor Citizen Center gives me the creeps.

Age wise I'd fit, but anything else -- no way.

My son is in Chicago, and we're close, but that's too expensive. And I agree, I'm so tired hearing about when we do this and we do that and when we travel. Fine or the we's, but there are ones.

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 18 of 41

@justokwrote:

Never ever expecting to be 67 and retired, here I am.  When I left my last full-time job I also moved to a new location: Waco, TX.  The decision weighed many factors, but the primary one was affordability and climate.  Reliving my nightmares of cold, icy and snowy winters, it was time to get out of southern Delaware.  I also wanted to live somewhere where I could afford my own place to live, rather than have to suffer a roommate situation as I had.  And much to my dismay, I was also forced to consider the accessibility of medical care, which had been sparse in my previous location.  Waco seemed to fit most of my requirements and off I went.  A year later and I’m still here.>>

As large as the Baby Boomer generation is, I can’t believe that I’m the only one in this situation.  What I would like to see is more discussion about those of us who are aging alone. 


@justok  well first of all there is a group call Singles Perspective and all of us in that group are singles and we recognize that Singles have specific issues which are different from couples.   You might want to go over there and check out the posts. 

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Singles-Perspective-Revisited/bd-p/bg177

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 19 of 41

Have you looked at any of the Assisted Living facilities in your location?  They allow independence and also have benefits such as providing transportation to and from doctors, etc. 

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Re: Aging Alone

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Message 20 of 41

Thanks for reading it and for your feedback!  I don't know if I'll ever get it figured out, but at least one has to try. Smiley Happy

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