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Silver Conversationalist
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When do Firsts end???

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For the love of all that is holy when will it stop…


You cannot open a website, read a newspaper or listen to the news anymore without at some point hearing: So and So would be the first blankity blank blankity blank to have achieved BLANK!!
You can fill in the blanks with whatever it is you want and the problem will be repeated X # of times over the course of months, years, decades, and probably even centuries. Our Great Great Great Great Grandchildren will probably still have to deal with this question as it appears no matter what happens we seem obligated to attach an “It’s a First” moniker to just about anything and everything that happens whether it be in Politics, Sports, Military, or even the Weather.


So who gets to say when something is a first and how many blankity blanks are allowed in a “First”?


[NOTE There is no intention to take anything away from anyone referenced in this composition who has achieved something spectacular or to say those achievements weren’t deserved these are just examples I chose to illustrate my point.]


For example Chicago just elected its’ first black female mayor that is also the first to be openly gay (a trifecta of “Firsts”). We’ve had our first black President, since he was of mixed race he is probably our first black President up until the next black President is elected that is not from a mixed descent then he could be “The first black President not of mixed descent” to ever hold the office. Then of course we will inevitably someday have “the first woman ever elected President” which in turn will produce the first “First Husband” unless of course the first woman we elect happens to be single which would allow the next woman elected that is married to be the first woman elected President that had a husband. What of the first openly gay president ever elected…. If a woman, would her spouse still be considered the “First Lady”? Maybe that will in turn produce the first “First Spouse” which unless a straight woman with a male spouse gets elected before her we may never have a first “First Husband” or we could get the first “First Husband” that follows the first “First Spouse”


Of course all you with state political aspirations still have Centuries and Centuries of firsts to look for. Just because Wyoming got the first female Governor (Nellie Ross 1925) (Sorry Texas your beloved Miriam Ferguson seems to have missed it by 20 days) however Nellie was apparently a Democrat so there is always hope for you women in Wyoming to be the First “Republican Woman” ever elected Governor of Wyoming. Unfortunately for you Arizonians even that has been taken away … Rose Mofford got the first female governor spot (1988) (D) and Jane Hull snapped up the first female republican spot in Arizona (1997) there is still hope though in Arizona to be the first female democrat governor to make it to term limits….yep Jan Brewer snapped up the first female governor to make it to term limit as a Republican.


Unfortunately none of you can claim to be the first female governor to give birth in office as that one too has been taken …. By 2 republicans (yep even between the 2 of them there was a first claimed by each… look it up) so hey democrat women still have a shot at that one… and of course 48 of you republican ladies still have a shot in your respective state and all you ladies in 22 States still have a chance to be first no matter what your Party affiliation is….


I guess unfortunately for me I’ll have to be content being…. The first openly straight married bald guy that has never run for public office but spent 20 years defending the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic (probably not a first so I’ll have to add some blanks later) so that we the American people have the freedom to be the first of whatever we want to be the first at no matter how many Blankity Blank Blankity Blank Blanks it takes to fill in to achieve being the first!!

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