What traditions should stay and what should we now forego?

[ASTRAEA]

@retiredtraveler - But what's wrong with young people, that they have no common sense or backbone?! Can't the friends have an intervention, and say that they just can't afford a "destination wedding"? Without a bridal party, the bride & groom might have 2nd thoughts!

[retiredtraveler]

One change that has been continuing to grow for a couple of decades now is online gift registry. Some people object as they like to try to come up with a gift for a wedding, birth, or whatever occasion on their own. But having someone register online stating the gifts he/she would like makes sense to me.

   The stereotype of a newlywed couple getting glass bowls or clocks they think are tasteless, but have to store awhile so as not to offend anyone, is going away.

   The new trend of 'destination wedding' has got to stop!!! It's bankrupting a couple of neices of mine who are just starting out in their careers and have endless bills only to find that their best friend is going to have their wedding a thousand miles away, and no one else is going to pay for that. I find that to be the most rude, insensitive behavior possible for a wedding. 

  What happened to picnics? What's wrong with taking a cooler and a pic-a-nic basket and going to the park with the kids having prepared some food before going? If it doesn't come from Micky D's, it's no good?

[roachme]

We paid for my daughter's wedding in 2011.  All told, $2400 for travel to the wedding for 4 people, $800 hotel for a week, $1000 for the dress, $2500 for a reception for 100 people, $400 for a cake, and $400 for a DJ.  $7500 total.  We traveled to his hometown for the wedding.  His family wanted to share the cost but we knew if was much easier for us to afford so we claimed it was traditional for us to pay for things.  As you can see, if everyone had been local the wedding would have cost much less.

Tradition of trading cars in every 3 years.  Never believed in it.  My cars are a 1985, a 1995, and a 1997.  Finally looking at replacing one, maybe two, and sending the 1985 in for a refurbish because they don't make El Camino's anymore.

We always had the tradition of family gatherings at my grandparents for Thanksgiving and Christmas but they had 6 kids and the furtherest travelled 300 miles.  Not hard to do.  After the grandkids got older with families, we spread out a bit.  I was usually the one not there often because I lived around the world or 1600 miles away at the closest.  Mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins have been good about keeping it going and I can afford to get there most years now.  The best one was for Thanksgiving 2007 I called them from Iraq during Thanksgiving Dinner and talked to everyone!

[m907706g]

I see groups of people, kids usually, grouped around a  table in a restaurant each texting or whatever and not even looking at each other.  I think, God, what are you even doing here.  Or a young couple with their iphones out.   Some date!!

[YankeeInNC]

We can always cultivate multi-generational "family of choice!" Lots of millennial a far from home that would to share a table! They are a fascinating demographic! Plenty of refugees, too, need community!

[YankeeInNC]

Give the gift of investing in micro loans. Gift cards for Kiva are a game changer!

My kid was never allowed to ask Santa for more than 3 things...that's all the big J got for his birthday!

[YankeeInNC]

I found out ahead of time accidentally. I didn't want to know but the ultrasound tech dropped the knowledge on me not reading the chart request. She was very, very young and felt horrible and I told her no worries. After learning I was having a boy, I found myself feeling utterly disappointed that I wasn't having a girl. I didn't think I had a preference but I did and learning early on that my kiddo was a boy helped me be get excited about it. I had all sisters and raising a son was great! (Until his early 20's...girls are jerks at 13. Boys are rotten until mid 20's. Lord, hear my prayers!🙃)

[kimzeesmom]

Funny how a comment brings on a memory. By now our brains are so full of them! About the sex of the baby: when having our first in 1971, we were stationed in Naples, Italy, and I was about to have the baby in the U.S. Naval Hospital. If there were such things as ultrasounds, we didn't know about them. The baby was two  weeks overdue, and I was starting to lose weight. They called it "senile placenta". Didn't seem to alarm anyone, and what did we know? The water finally broke, and we took off for the hospital. My husband had researched alternate ways of getting to the hospital through the horrendous traffic in Naples. At 4:30am, we didn't see a single car. No labor for about 36 hours.I was given an X-ray to check on the baby's position. There was this little skeleton, head down. I asked was it a boy or a girl. Was told they couldn't tell from the skeleton. They induced our healthy daughter next morning. 

[deethecat55]

There is a newer tradition that I totally dislike.  It's when pregnant families find out the sex of their baby and tell everyone beforehand.  It takes all the mystery out of having a baby.  When the child is born, the first question used to be "Boy or Girl????".  What do you ask now - "How much did he/she weigh?" Big deal.

A co-worker recently had a baby and did not find out its sex.  We were so excited after the birth to find out girl or boy (he was a boy!).  

[c362702l]

I believe that families should put their phones down, go to the dining room, and have a conversation with your family.  I work in a funeral home, and it is shocking talking with parents who are there because of drugs, suicide, etc, and the parents had no idea that their child was doing drugs or that they were really depressed, and chose death.

Children are sexualy assalted or kidnapped by someone they were chatting with over some app on their phone, and the parents can't believe their child would do such a thing.

People should remove their blinders, talk with their children, and check the phones and computer websites their children are into.

The family unit is almost gone from so many lives.

Wake up folks before we see you at the funeral home!