Check out the 10th anniversary edition of ’99 Great Ways to Save,’ AARP’s annual guide to saving money.

Reply
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
359
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

359 Views
Message 1 of 8

I would like for my family to remember hoe helpful I was with very low ego and an all around nice person with a good heart

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
359
Views
Super Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
411
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

411 Views
Message 2 of 8

First of all, "you all" won't say anything about me 'cause ya don't know me from a can of paint!  But for those who do know me, I would hope they'd say...she lived long and well, she loved deep and sweetly, she cared about people and animals alike, she was kind, you could count on her, she never gave up, she didn't mind sharing, she loved God and all of his creation,  she wished everyone to be well and blessed, she lived His word............

Just know, I'm still yet working on me.  But at least I'm trying.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
411
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
2
Kudos
3664
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,664 Views
Message 3 of 8

@AntoniaAlbany wrote:

           Have you ever noticed how a person is talked about while they're alive compared to what is said about them after they've passed away? It's usually very different.          

 

          While they're alive, we speak glowingly of people by acknowledging their successes:  "Jim has risen to the level of  president of the company only 10 years after entering the corporation at the mail-room level," or "Janice has been able to bring in to her non-profit organization nearly triple the funds of her predecessor."

 

It changes          

 

          Once that person is gone, however, what are considered noteworthy successes changes. It becomes:  "Jim generously opened his home every year to at-risk youth and provided mentoring opportunities to help inner city kids get ahead in school," and "Janice was known for her compassion and enthusiasm. She gave her time, money, and talents so local senior groups could participate in the arts that might not otherwise be available to them."          

 

          Doesn't it look like one might be part of a resume and the other a part of a eulogy? Which one is more important? I'm not sure one is more important than another, but I am sure, when it's all said and done, I'd prefer the eulogy dialogue to linger after any mention of my name. Knowing this now, while we're above deck, so to speak, can be very valuable information.          

 

          For many of us senior citizens, we're done with work and we either made vice-president or didn't. We've spent a huge amount of time creating resume accolades. Do you think, however, that when someone hears your name after you're gone they'll remember and be impressed by the fact that you only missed two days of work in your 40 year career? I doubt it.


Why even bring this up?
         

 

          So, my point in presenting this subject here today is merely to serve as a reminder. You can never spend too much time and effort developing and living those talents that rarely show up on a resume, like being compassionate, gentle, tender, patient, non-judgmental, open, courageous, truthful, loving, and good at making others laugh. Aren't you glad you already know how to be all these things? Now go out and share these skills with others. Don't wait for the eulogy!


I must have a different perspective but I read this and I think..  if I am in my sixties and I have handled my life choices by what I thought best during my lifetime.. someone's post here is not going to mean anything to me.  It sounds like a magazine article comment. 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
3664
Views
Trusted Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
3690
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,690 Views
Message 4 of 8

"... Aren't you glad you already know how to be all these things?...".

   I'm a glass half-empty pessimist, opinionated, no tolerance person. DW is probably going to put "Good riddance" on my tombstone....


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
3690
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
3713
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,713 Views
Message 5 of 8
@PattyDiane wrote:

This is an interesting topic.  I, also, am childless and unmarried.  All my relatives live on the other side of the country and we are little more than FaceBook friends.  I have several friends that I mainly talk to on the phone these days as I don't get around like I once did.  Also I have lost some friends in the past few years.  New friends that I'm making are on line.


 

I spend holidays with 2nd cousins who also live in NJ; my 1st cousins don't. Between them, there are 3 children, and I always give them Christmas presents, and generous birthday gifts for their "college funds". One is in H.S., but the other 2 are still pre-teen; I don't know if they even understand the value of contributions to their education, or would like me better if I gave them toys or games worth 10% as much.

 


Registered on Online Community since 2007!
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
3713
Views
Highlighted
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
3715
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,715 Views
Message 6 of 8

This is an interesting topic.  I, also, am childless and unmarried.  All my relatives live on the other side of the country and we are little more than FaceBook friends.  I have several friends that I mainly talk to on the phone these days as I don't get around like I once did.  Also I have lost some friends in the past few years.  New friends that I'm making are on line.

 

The physical things that I will leave behind, I'm usure if anyone will care about other than possibly financially.  I have a stack of paintings that someone might find interesting and I've shared a lot of "Family Stories" already with my neices. 

 

A friend who recently lost her husband paid me the greatest compliment not very long ago.  She thanked me for talking openly while going through divorces, etc.  She told me she was using what she had learned from me in helping her through her own loss.  That meant so much to me and I hope I have been able to the same for others.  That is the kind of legacy I would like to leave.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
3715
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
3788
Views

Re: What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,788 Views
Message 7 of 8

A very interesting subject, especially since I'm single, an only child, unmarried & without children. I'm not sure anyone will even think to talk about me, after I'm gone .. whether to say something nice, glowing or anything else!

 

Your topic is timely, because an old acquaintance just died recently, and I read comments about it posted on Facebook. She was a nice person, but barely a "place keeper," as head of an organization of which I was also a member. However once she died, the posts made it sound like she'd accomplished a lot & almost walked on water. I think that's an indication that people don't know what to say when someone dies, but in feeling that they have to say something, the most socially acceptable thing is to go a little overboard about how wonderful the person wasw.


Registered on Online Community since 2007!
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
3788
Views
Info Seeker
3
Kudos
3820
Views
7
Replies

What Will We Say About You When You're Gone?

3,820 Views
Message 8 of 8

           Have you ever noticed how a person is talked about while they're alive compared to what is said about them after they've passed away? It's usually very different.          

 

          While they're alive, we speak glowingly of people by acknowledging their successes:  "Jim has risen to the level of  president of the company only 10 years after entering the corporation at the mail-room level," or "Janice has been able to bring in to her non-profit organization nearly triple the funds of her predecessor."

 

It changes          

 

          Once that person is gone, however, what are considered noteworthy successes changes. It becomes:  "Jim generously opened his home every year to at-risk youth and provided mentoring opportunities to help inner city kids get ahead in school," and "Janice was known for her compassion and enthusiasm. She gave her time, money, and talents so local senior groups could participate in the arts that might not otherwise be available to them."          

 

          Doesn't it look like one might be part of a resume and the other a part of a eulogy? Which one is more important? I'm not sure one is more important than another, but I am sure, when it's all said and done, I'd prefer the eulogy dialogue to linger after any mention of my name. Knowing this now, while we're above deck, so to speak, can be very valuable information.          

 

          For many of us senior citizens, we're done with work and we either made vice-president or didn't. We've spent a huge amount of time creating resume accolades. Do you think, however, that when someone hears your name after you're gone they'll remember and be impressed by the fact that you only missed two days of work in your 40 year career? I doubt it.


Why even bring this up?
         

 

          So, my point in presenting this subject here today is merely to serve as a reminder. You can never spend too much time and effort developing and living those talents that rarely show up on a resume, like being compassionate, gentle, tender, patient, non-judgmental, open, courageous, truthful, loving, and good at making others laugh. Aren't you glad you already know how to be all these things? Now go out and share these skills with others. Don't wait for the eulogy!

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
3
Kudos
3820
Views
7
Replies