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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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I never really made the decision to remain childless.  Rather, I never made the decision to try to get pregnant and it never happened by accident.  With one marriage of 17 years I had two step-children, a girl and a boy.  I remain in contact with them both, even though the marriage with their father ended years ago.  It worked out well having the step-children on alternate weekends and for 3 weeks in the Summer.  The younger (a boy) lived with us for his first and second year of college.

 

What I now miss is having grandchildren, but the story might be the same if I had children of my own.  My step-daughter has 3 children but lives a thousand miles away.  My step-son has never married and lives out of town also.  

 

I'll have to admit that I feel those small regrets when I see these photos of classmates surrounded by their grand-children (and now great-grandchildren for those who married right out of high school), but I think things worked out the way they were supposed to.

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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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@retiredtraveler wrote:

DW and I are childless. DW has had, on (rare) occasion, second thoughts about not having children. We had (have) strong opinions on overpopulation and the environment which was a part of the decision. The other part was that we didn't have a particular interest in child raising. We're both happy with the decision.

  We have a lot of family on both sides which I would think would be a major factor in 'happiness' with the decision. I would also think that the fact that we've been married 43+ years helps too.

   I've always been someone who reads studies/polls and looks at 'numbers and stats'. There have been so many studies showing that as far as number of children, a great many people were sorry they had so many children. A lot of people that had more than two children have stated regrets about the larger family.

   Anyway, being childless works for us. Early on, we took some heat about being 'selfish' because we used our 'free time' to continue going to school, changing careers, and advancing those careers. To some, we were greedy and self-centered.

  I think Simplegal's response was right on. Plus, look at all those negative articles in the link. Problems with estrangement in the family, what to do when adult children don't like you, etc. I see far more problems with having a family then being either single, or married, without children.

 


@retiredtraveler  glad to see you back and posting.  I appreciate your views .. well they do reflect a lot of mine actually  LOL 

 

Each of us has the right to make the choices that we decide upon as it is us who will bear the responsibility for those choices.  No one else has any say in those choices.  When made with thought and consideration, our choices reflect what we feel is best for us.  Usually with good reason.  

 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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DW and I are childless. DW has had, on (rare) occasion, second thoughts about not having children. We had (have) strong opinions on overpopulation and the environment which was a part of the decision. The other part was that we didn't have a particular interest in child raising. We're both happy with the decision.

  We have a lot of family on both sides which I would think would be a major factor in 'happiness' with the decision. I would also think that the fact that we've been married 43+ years helps too.

   I've always been someone who reads studies/polls and looks at 'numbers and stats'. There have been so many studies showing that as far as number of children, a great many people were sorry they had so many children. A lot of people that had more than two children have stated regrets about the larger family.

   Anyway, being childless works for us. Early on, we took some heat about being 'selfish' because we used our 'free time' to continue going to school, changing careers, and advancing those careers. To some, we were greedy and self-centered.

  I think Simplegal's response was right on. Plus, look at all those negative articles in the link. Problems with estrangement in the family, what to do when adult children don't like you, etc. I see far more problems with having a family then being either single, or married, without children.

 


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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@WilliamS219103 wrote:

Age 79, childless and have never regretted it.


Thank you for your response. I am glad you are happy with your life decisions!  We all have our own paths 😀

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Reply: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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@tv1851 wrote:

I just turned 61 today.  I've never been married or have children.  I have taken care of children off and on which sometimes is a challenge itself.  I am happy with my life the way it is and I don't regret it.  


Thank you for your response. I am glad that you are happy with your decisions. Everyone has their own life choices to make!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Reply: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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@SIMPLEGAL wrote:

Recently I read a piece in "Dear Annie" where a woman shared her thoughts concerning motherhood.  Her perspective definitely put a light on how difficult it is to raise children.

Her view was that motherhood is the most underappreciated job on earth and that she was tired.  She stated that if you don't have lots of money, patience and fortitude and a self-sacrificing nature you will have regrets about becoming a mother.  Reality is that child rearing is hard and not everyone is cut out for it.  Based on her comments I believe I made the right decision.


It definitely is a personal decision. I only had one child and had a mom who did not work outside the home so she helped me out a lot when my son was young. If allowed me to build a career.  

 

Thank you for your post. 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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Age 79, childless and have never regretted it.

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Re: Reply: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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I just turned 61 today.  I've never been married or have children.  I have taken care of children off and on which sometimes is a challenge itself.  I am happy with my life the way it is and I don't regret it.  

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Reply: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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Recently I read a piece in "Dear Annie" where a woman shared her thoughts concerning motherhood.  Her perspective definitely put a light on how difficult it is to raise children.

Her view was that motherhood is the most underappreciated job on earth and that she was tired.  She stated that if you don't have lots of money, patience and fortitude and a self-sacrificing nature you will have regrets about becoming a mother.  Reality is that child rearing is hard and not everyone is cut out for it.  Based on her comments I believe I made the right decision.

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Re: The Weight of Being Childless Late in Life

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I am not childless but I thought this was a good interesting article but one that was very sad.  

 

Later in life you appreciate family more than ever in your lifetime. Bonds of a lifetime will support you and carry you through pain and problems. They will unite you in joy and the sharing of memories.  

 

I feel sorry for anyone who rethinks decisions long past the time that changes are possible. 

 

What do do you think?

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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