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Regular Social Butterfly
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 11 of 24

I feel blessed that during junior high & high school I had 4 friends We were called "Fearsome 5". Their moms were like 2nd moms to me as well as my mom theirs. We were pretty in middle not super smart nor dunces but different levels & strengths & interests. We were tight like sisters & at times probably led one another astray doing and trying things(smoking Eve cigarettes cause pretty while drinking Barq's rootbeer) but for most part it kept us safe & no need for having to fit in with others. Having someone chat about boys we liked & going places & growing up together & helping each other with all life throws at you when a teen was a great blessing. Sadly once we graduated married & some moved away(me & another)... this was 70's long before FB & such existed ...we lost touch I have missed these friends and bonds we had. I'm still in touch with few although never as close as were due to miles between us. I treasure those times in my life.

Seems as adult I have always cared about what folks think of me although I've pretty much followed my own drummer. With age it matters less these days try to be true to myself & pretty ok if others think me & my smiley faces & flowers on car are wild...my son says stuck in 70's & that's ok. I've had few friends through work & fellowship programs only a few can compare to those of my youth. : ) 

"May your troubles be less....your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door" : )
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 12 of 24

Some one I thought of as a friend, my best friend, has all of these years using me as a sounding board for all her troubles.  I finally figured it out after my husband died and she didn't call me unless she wanted to unload woes on me.  I don't see her very often now and I have to initiate the call of visit.  She still unloads all her woes on me.  Funny thing is that her sister is a better friend to me effortlessly than she is.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 13 of 24
Sounds like caregiver burnout. Take more time for yourself. I imagine you are valued far more than you realize.
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Conversationalist
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 14 of 24

I had a 20 yr friendship with a woman co-worker wherein i was always the one to offer understanding and assistance. She often asked me for help her husband had died and she was raising a son herself. I provided a lot of assistance and listened daily. On the rare ocassion i asked her for a ride or some other simple thing she was annoyed and put out. I knew it was ridiculous and I knew i had to end our frienship. She was even at the end mad at me for hurting her. It never occured to her that she was hurting me with her one way street. It's hard to find good older female friends so many people are so caught up in themselves these days. I did make a good male friend who is surprisingly kind and helpful to me. He knows I will make an effort to reciprocate and keep the score as even as possible. He is turn does the same. I value this new friendship more than I can say.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 15 of 24

Sounds like my “friend “ of 62 years, who for the last 10 years only calls when she needs something.

i didn’t even realize I was letting her exert peer pressure until I finally thought back over the years.  Some of us are either slow learners or too forgiving.   My children realized it long before I did.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 16 of 24

Tell her she stresses you out and your not going to answer her calls anymore as you know she is going to tell you another problem.

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Silver Conversationalist
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 17 of 24

My friend is 61year old and I’m 54year old.ready time my friend have a problem she ask me and she always depends on me we live same apartment building and different apartment and every time she a problem and she calls   maintenances and office manager. She just stress me out too many times . From Anne Kimble 

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Recognized Social Butterfly
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 18 of 24

My "friends" pressured me into smoking.  It was the "thing to do" back in the day.  I was finally able to quit, but wish I had never started.  I’m now experiencing the consequences, cough, hack!

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 19 of 24

For years I didn’t even realize I was under peer pressure from a person I consider my best friend.  Now I realize I was and there are so many things I would like to change.  

Anyoneelse find themselves in this kind of situation ?

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 20 of 24

I was never really affected by peer pressure, because I was trying to just feel like a real person. I always felt as if people looked through, over, or around, me (as if I was a transparent, a ghost, a Nobody). 

I have, however, always been a caretaker of others, a good daughter, excellent wife and mother, and a great friend. I am just empty inside.

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