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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 11 of 23

Some one I thought of as a friend, my best friend, has all of these years using me as a sounding board for all her troubles.  I finally figured it out after my husband died and she didn't call me unless she wanted to unload woes on me.  I don't see her very often now and I have to initiate the call of visit.  She still unloads all her woes on me.  Funny thing is that her sister is a better friend to me effortlessly than she is.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 12 of 23
Sounds like caregiver burnout. Take more time for yourself. I imagine you are valued far more than you realize.
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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 13 of 23

I had a 20 yr friendship with a woman co-worker wherein i was always the one to offer understanding and assistance. She often asked me for help her husband had died and she was raising a son herself. I provided a lot of assistance and listened daily. On the rare ocassion i asked her for a ride or some other simple thing she was annoyed and put out. I knew it was ridiculous and I knew i had to end our frienship. She was even at the end mad at me for hurting her. It never occured to her that she was hurting me with her one way street. It's hard to find good older female friends so many people are so caught up in themselves these days. I did make a good male friend who is surprisingly kind and helpful to me. He knows I will make an effort to reciprocate and keep the score as even as possible. He is turn does the same. I value this new friendship more than I can say.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 14 of 23

Sounds like my “friend “ of 62 years, who for the last 10 years only calls when she needs something.

i didn’t even realize I was letting her exert peer pressure until I finally thought back over the years.  Some of us are either slow learners or too forgiving.   My children realized it long before I did.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 15 of 23

Tell her she stresses you out and your not going to answer her calls anymore as you know she is going to tell you another problem.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 16 of 23

My friend is 61year old and I’m 54year old.ready time my friend have a problem she ask me and she always depends on me we live same apartment building and different apartment and every time she a problem and she calls   maintenances and office manager. She just stress me out too many times . From Anne Kimble 

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 17 of 23

My "friends" pressured me into smoking.  It was the "thing to do" back in the day.  I was finally able to quit, but wish I had never started.  I’m now experiencing the consequences, cough, hack!

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 18 of 23

For years I didn’t even realize I was under peer pressure from a person I consider my best friend.  Now I realize I was and there are so many things I would like to change.  

Anyoneelse find themselves in this kind of situation ?

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 19 of 23

I was never really affected by peer pressure, because I was trying to just feel like a real person. I always felt as if people looked through, over, or around, me (as if I was a transparent, a ghost, a Nobody). 

I have, however, always been a caretaker of others, a good daughter, excellent wife and mother, and a great friend. I am just empty inside.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 20 of 23

I worked at a company that definitely had "cliques."  I knew my what my job was and kept my nose to the grindstone!  Once they hired a temporary worker to help in the summer and this clique refused to help her or teach her the right way or even invite her to have lunch with them.  I tried to help her out when I could and invited her to eat with me.  Unfortunately, she did not last long at the company.  I would never treat a person the way she had been treated.  I have always tried to be inclusive with people and treat them as I wanted to be treated. Eventually the "clique' broke up, as some left the company.  Although I did not like how they treated this person, I still treated them with respect, and when they saw I wouldn't put up with it, they reciprocated.  I have stayed this way all my life and I don't treat people different because of their race, religion or status in life. To me there is only one race-the human race.

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