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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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I didn't feel that I had any peer pressure because I attended  a small school  that I graduated from in 1972.  I was extremely fortunate to be in that school.  We had around 70 kids in each grade in our school and I never felt that I was under any peer pressure.  We are so lucky.  My classmates are all still close even though it is almost 50 years later - and we talk often on Facebook.  

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 2 of 24

I don't know. There are very good people out there. It takes courage to put yourself out there and there are more losses than wins but occasionally you meet someone who gets you. Then its all worthwhile.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Your not getting this. Its not caregiver burnout. This when a friend takes advantage. They really know better but don't think enough of you to reciprocate.   

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Yes I understand. It is when something really bad happens in your own life and the other person (your supposed friend) does not recognize that it might be their turn to step up and offer some kindness or support- that you realize the relationship is one sided and you are the designated door mat. I should have understood this. Maybe it's having good people skills and boundaries that allows a person to correctly sizr things up before you invest too much time.  

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Or maybe your just a nice person who assumed (wrongly) that other people think like you do. My son also noticed something was wrong with this friend and told me i acted differently when with her. Think he was trying to tell me I cow towed to her. I'm not an idiot so i really can't explain why I tolerated it other than she made me feel sorry for her as she was always in a panic about something. 

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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I understand how you feel because that has been what most of my life has been. The fact that you are a compassionate person who has always looked out for others, is more important than being a shallow, narcissitic person who doesn't care about anyone but themselves. I have always said that it's not what a person looks like, but what their innerbeing shows when you are interacting with them. A kind, understanding soul beats a two-faced being every time.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 7 of 24

I understand completely, it happened to me and I finally decided that acquaintances are much better since you don't have to put your whole life out to them, you can just let them know what you want them to know about you.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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When I was growing up, I was very shy and pretty much tried to be invisible. After I completed college, my shyness started to disappear and working in the transportation industry in supervisory positions forced me to become more assertive. The hardest thing for me has been that I have always been drawn to people who I thought were my friends but, were only using me for their own gain which really hurt when I realized what their true intentions were. When my 50’s arrived, it dawned on me that “friends” aren’t necessarily required, acquaintances have worked out much better. They are people who you can have a casual relationship with and who many times are more reliable and understanding than friends are.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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I didn't pay much attention to peer pressure except for the pressure I put on myself after I lost a well-paying, prestigious career due to a 10 week hospitalization in a VA facility.

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Re: Peer Pressure - did it make or mar your future?

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Message 10 of 24

Forty years ago I would have said peer pressure marred my future. Our home life when I was a child was fairly dysfuntional, which didn't set me up with an ability to build trusting relationships. In school, I was seen as different, partly becasue of my visual impairment, and also because of social ineptness. I was terrified of being laughed at by other students and being judged harshly by teachers. I resorted to hiding socially. My fears didn't disappear when I reached adulthood and went to work. Even though I could talk to people in a socially acceptable way, I did not form relationships with co-workers and did not build friendships outside of work. Through joining quilting groups and other interest groups, I began to realize I was missing a big part of life - relationships with other people. Recently I bagan watching my reactions. At 65 I can understand my fears rationally and deal with them. I am beginning to open up to "easing" into relationships.  Surprisingly, people are nicer and more interested in me than I ever thought they would be. I'm looking forward to a retirement that will include not only my hobbies, but maybe even experiencing a close friendship. It's been great to see the changes I have been to make over time, so I don't think peer pressure marred my future.

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