Keeping a positive attitude about aging

[chkntza]

THank you very much. I'm so happy things are working out for you. I like to get up and go out on adventures and enjoy life. I dug myself into such a deep hole with the last fear attack that I temporarily lost my joy. I have to learn how to not panic and let it slide off. I'm using an app called Headspace and that is helping me. 

[chkntza]

I love your golf analogy and I'm not even a golfer. I'm keeping that image in my mind. Thank you very much. 

[chkntza]

I loved Chichen Itza. My first car was a vw bug. The shape reminded me i

of Chichen Itza so I named my car Chichen Itza. 

[chkntza]

Thank you very much. I love your ideas. I'm doing some of them already. I love the planning part. I'm going to become better at that. 

[chkntza]

Thank you very much. Fear is irrational. It just builds up in my head and gets bigger abs bigger. I'm trying to not let my thoughts do that. Thank you for your strength. 

[chkntza]

Thank you very much. I work out with my trainer three times a week, I Zumba three times a week, I plan a lot of fun adventures, I volunteer, and I spend time with my friends. I'm working on my attitude. 

[PattyDiane]

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@chkntza wrote:

Hi!  I am usually a happy go lucky person but in retirement I find myself getting scared of what might happen as I age and that fear robs me of enjoying my present.   I am looking for suggestions, ideas, and advice on how other people handle this.  Thanks.

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I see you've gotten lots of advice and I agree with all of it and would like to add a couple of things that have really helped me a lot.

I didn't plan for retirement.  I was working as an artist and teacher, managing the gallery for our local art association.  As it often happens, there was a change in the association and I lost my job.  It was very scary and I went into a depression which made my physical condition even worse.  It actually took me a couple of months for me to realize that I was 62 and could go ahead and get social security.

It was still a pretty dismal picture financially, but it was the first time in my life that I had a check being deposited into my account without the necessity of going to work each day.  I could decide what I really wanted to do and I had no idea.  I began to do two things that I think really made a difference.  I began each morning by writing down all dreams I had the night before in a dream journal.  I also wrote down all the things that I was grateful for.

The first one gave me a glimpse of what I might want to do.  In my case it was doing some writing which was a big change from the painting I had been doing, but still creative.  The Gratitide Journal helped me to stay in the present and know that just for today everything is OK.  I had a roof, water, food, clothes, car, etc.

It's been over 10 years now and things have worked out better than I could have hoped for.

[nctarheel]

Think of life as a game of golf.

Your working life and child rearing years was the front nine. Some holes were harder than others like raising a teenager and some were easier like wonderful family vacations. Some were longer holes and some were shorter holes (input your own examples).

Then came retirement.

That point was when you went into the clubhouse, had a hot dog and a beer, went to the bathroom, and prepared to complete the last nine holes of your 18 hole round of golf.

So, now you are on the back nine. It's a lot like the front nine but you might be a little more tired as you have already played nine holes. But the back nine can certainly be just as enjoyable as the front..... and in some ways, more enjoyable. For example, if your children are now successful, it is a joy to watch their success. Vacations are less encumbered by other responsibilities. There are lots of examples.

Remember, the back nine has as many holes as the front nine.

Even if you do come to the last hole, there is nothing to fear................

YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GO IN THE CLUBHOUSE AND HAVE ANOTHER HOT DOG AND A BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Epster]

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@chkntza wrote:

Hi!  I am usually a happy go lucky person but in retirement I find myself getting scared of what might happen as I age and that fear robs me of enjoying my present.   I am looking for suggestions, ideas, and advice on how other people handle this.  Thanks.

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@chkntza (Adored our visit to Chichen Itza, btw. We were there as a hurricane was arriving. What a fast romp up and around those ruins! Weee! But I digress... )

So you've been offered some long-term coping ideas. Here's a few ideas to create inner calm more immediately.

Count your blessings. 

Write a list of the things for which you are grateful.

Put on some music and dance around your living room.

Take a walk in the woods, through a garden or down a lovely street.

Take a friend out to tea.

Make a basket of homemade goodies and take that to someone in need.

Get a puppy or a kitten.

Wear a ridiculous outfit ... proudly. Put on that bright orange hat, the polka dot shirt and the hot pink leggings. I find being ridiculous to be a great stress buster. You may too.

For the long term stuff, I do this: determine the worst case scenario. Then plan for that. Here's the deal: worst case rarely happens, but if/when it does, by planning for it, I am ready. (My hubby ribs me over this modus operandi ... but he's reaped the benefits of my behavior so many times that he happily calls me our corporate risk manager. )

[ASTRAEA]

@chkntza - It would help if you were more specific about your fears. I think it helps to take a rational approach; first separate fears into ones over which you have no control, and into ones which you do have control .. then plan a course of action for the potential problems over which you do have control.

So if one fear is being sick, take a good look at your current physical condition .. diet, exercise, health, and see what you can start doing to improve that. If it's where you live & being independent, think about whether you should downsize, move to a more senior-friendly area, be near friends & family, etc.

If it's something over which you/we have no control, don't let that sap your energy .. take up yoga or meditation!