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Trusted Social Butterfly

Tips for Social Distancing

Here are a couple proven ways to help people keep "social distancing". This time of year, a certain plant is coming up in the woods in North America. It is the ramp, which is a wild onion. Ramp is very pungent and if you are walking through the woods and smell onions or garlic, those are wild ramps. They are edible and you can pull them out, remove the dirt and eat them raw. They can also be used in cooking, but for maximum effect of social distancing just eat them raw.

 

Within ten to fifteen minutes after eating wild ramp, their odor comes out of every pore in your body and you will stink. The smell is like onion and garlic. You are guaranteed to have plenty of room around yourself.

 

No wild ramp available, no problem. Just get a clove of garlic and place it directly on your skin. The best place is on your foot. Put a clove of garlic directly on your foot. Then put a sock over it and put on your shoes. Within fifteen minutes you will smell like garlic and your breath will also smell like garlic. Again people will keep their distance from you.

 

Another way to keep social distance from others is to rub limburger cheese on your chest. Remember that Little Rascals episode where Weezer had limburger cheese rubbed on his chest. For those not familiar with limburger cheese, it stinks. It literally smells like you know what. With limburger cheese rubbed on your chest, people will keep their distance from you.

 

My parents used to make sandwiches called "stinky's". They were a sliced onion with limburger cheese on dark pumpernickel bread. When they were making those "stinkies"; it smelled like someone defecated in the dining room.

 

Don't like stinky food? There is a toy that makes a certian noise called a Pooter. Just get one and carry it with you. When people get too close squeeze the Pooter and it will make a funny noise just loud enough to be heard by people near you. Then magically you will have more space around yourself.

 

So that is my public service message for the day. In these times where it is important to keep social distance, these will help.

Honored Social Butterfly

IK152:   My parents used to make sandwiches called "stinky's". They were a sliced onion with limburger cheese on dark pumpernickel bread. When they were making those "stinkies"; it smelled like someone defecated in the dining room.

 

 

 

My dad used to eat that when I was a little kid and I loathed the the odor. The limburger was bad enough, but I've had a lifelong hatred of onions (garlic too) and I'd get as far away as possible. Funny the things we remember, unless I'm wrong, the limburger cheese came wrapped in foil and was called Moose brand and it was white.

Honored Social Butterfly

Good one. My uncle loved limburger cheese. Whenever I saw him getting some out, I held my breath and left the house...maybe he wanted us to leave!

Loved him, He was a Great Uncle!

Honored Social Butterfly

Lol.

 

I just tell people to stay their six feet away, and then I cough. 😉

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