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The Worst Possible Natural Disaster

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Imagine that you are a liberal walking to a polling place to vote for your favorite global warming politicians. As a conservative, to imagine myself as a liberal, I find it useful to play this song in my head, "Dumb be dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb dumb." Now, imagine that you see the biggest flash of light that you ever saw and think, "H-bomb, **bleep** Trump!," just before you are vaporized. Meanwhile, Kim Jong-un is standing on his balcony watching goose stepping soldiers walk by, when suddenly he sees the same flash of light and thinks,"H-bomb, **bleep** Trump!," before he is vaporized.

 

Your last dying thoughts were wrong, as usual. You were actually killed by a 4.4x10^31 megaton explosion that occurred hundreds of years ago, 10^15 miles away, and Trump had nothing to do with it. 

 

Cosmology, like climatology, is a non-experimental science. I have no respect for non-experimental scientists, e.g., Stephen Hawking. But, I respect some of the more empirical findings of cosmologists and astronomers. It is an empirical fact that the aforementioned kind of explosions occur thousands of times a day all around us in other galaxies. It just hasn't happened in our galaxy, the Milky Way, within recorded history. Cosmologists theorize that such an explosion is produced when a fast spinning neutron star, approximately 30 times the mass of our sun, collapses into a black hole. Neutron stars are difficult to see so we won't be able to see it with our telescopes before it explodes. And, by the way, who will mourn the deaths of intelligent life on other planets? Certainly not the bleeding heart liberals on Earth because they will also be dead.  Now is the time for the Christian Right to pray for divine intervention. 

 

To learn more, watch the Netflix documentary, The Real Death Star.

 

 

You are getting sleepy.
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