Honored Social Butterfly

R. Simmons' Excuses Illustrate Why We Need This Converrsaton


Music mogul Russell Simmons stepped down last month after he was accused of rape. He has since been accused by 8 others. This is his most recent statement.


"I vehemently deny all these allegations. These horrific accusations have shocked me to my core and all of my relations have been consensual." Additionally, he will "relentlessly fight against any untruthful character assassination that paints me as a man of violence" and says he has "already apologized for the instances of thoughtlessness in my consensual relations."


To me, this statement, read along with the statements made by his accusers, only illustrates his male privilege. Almost to a person, his accusers state that he shoved them, pushed them, forced them. Apparently there are those who think that if they don't draw blood or whip out a knife while coercing their man parts into another person's body then it isn't rape. We need to achieve collective agreement about what is and what is not consensual. 


As discussed before, men as a group seem to have difficulties reading and understanding subtleties. I think we will have to use the courts to hash out the line we seek to draw regarding such abuses along with butt pinching and walking around in an open house coat around subordinates. That said, this point is particularly unsubtle. All men everywhere should see this line coming in the dark from a mile away. If you have to force it, it ain't consensual.


I guess 'force' is subjective, too. Maybe we need to start with something like: leave all subordinates off your sexual menu.



PS If any of the #metoo accusers are lying, I want them and their lawyers prosecuted. Lying about sexual abuse does not help one little bit.




"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
Honored Social Butterfly

yes. a position of power needs trust and respect from subordinates, and sex is no way to get that. It has to be out of the dynamic entirely.
So it begins.
Honored Social Butterfly

The women's stories are very similar....


We definitely need to create and maintain a culture/system where sex assault victims can seek and receive justice.   Only then, I think, will certain men start to think twice.  


Many men, it seems, don't understand what rape actually is. 

"Almost a third of the men (31.7 percent) said that in a consequence-free situation, they’d force a woman to have sexual intercourse, while 13.6 percent said they would rape a woman. Setting aside the fact that it’s terrifying that a full third of a random group of college men will admit to this, the 20-point divide is still weird, even if it does reflect what’s been observed in previous research: At the end of the day, after all, the two groups are saying the exact same thing."

Honored Social Butterfly

@ManicProgressive  Yes, such a long time coming, this conversation. I hope the #metooers have stamina for the fight. I doubt the patriarchy is going to turn over or lie down. Hopefully the courts will be steady, speedy and just.


And hopefully we will all come out of this with better interpersonal skills and greater appreciation for one another.  🙂



"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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