Perhaps it's because of my rough beginnings and things I've been through in life, but I am
very much going to tell a man when/if he is making me uncomfortable -- an act that is
always met with profuse and sincere apology. Yes, the man feels embarrassed and no I
do not enjoy the feeling of embarrassing another human being, but sometimes you have
to put on your big girl panties and have those icky moments. It's called being an adult.
I've watched many female friends uncomfortably smile or give their fake laugh when they
receive unwanted male attention. How does this help? It doesn't, obviously. He has
learned nothing and she leaves the situation feeling disempowered. Big girl panties are
a good thing -- wear a pair. Keep several back-ups laundered and ready to go.
Life is not comfortable. Life is one long string of icky moments broken up by wonderful
moments. Self-empowerment? That's a wonderful moment.
I can't count how many representatives from the land of XY Chromosomes dumbly think
that smiling at them -- hell even just being nice to them -- is woman-code for oh yeah come
get this, big daddy. (Spoiler alert: it'[s not.) It's long past time to give the old brain a workout
and look for behavioral cues that will give you a better idea of how you are making a woman
Leaning in toward you: good sign. Shifting her body away from you in the slightest: bad sign.
Being very interested in what you're saying even if it's boring and stupid: good sign. Finding
reasons to talk to anyone but you: bad sign. Her gaze lingers when your eyes meet: good
sign. Her gaze averts or avoids yours even if she offers you a polite smile before doing
so: bad sign."
I think the actions she suggests for women could go a long way to halting (or at least
reducing) sexual harassment but I also see that doing like she suggests goes against
what children are too often taught growing up. Also, if the man has the ability to negatively
affect her job that could make it even harder to speak bluntly.
I think that he suggestions for men are a start but they could also go a lot further. It
should not be difficult to determine that someone is not interested in your actions.
Parents should be teaching their sons from early life how to be a gentleman and not
force their attentions on others.
It seems to me that the more prestige a man has the more they think that they
should be able to expect women to accept any advance the man choses to make.
(I put carriage returns in, hopefully that makes it readable. )