Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[cm9889168]

              Count your blessings that someone else

                              might be praying for

Happy Thanksgiving

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

Two elderly people were living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for several years.

One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. The next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.

As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

[LydiaN586309]

Every Sunday a little old lady placed $1,000 on the collection plate. It went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her.

“My dear, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he said.

“Why yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money, and what I don’t need I give to the church.”

“That’s wonderful. How much does he send you?” the priest asked. “He sends me $2,000 a week,” she replied proudly.

“Your son is very successful,” said the priest. “What does he do for a living?”

“He is a veterinarian,” she answered. “That is a very honorable profession,” the priest assured her.

“Where does he practice?”

“Well, she replied, “he has one cat house in Kansas City and another in New Orleans.”

[LydiaN586309]

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said, “How soon do you need to know?

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[dl73698250]

Where DO you come up with these? Funny.

[DaveMcK]

@dl73698250  I Google them by topics! 

Senior's adult jokes:  https://www.suddenlysenior.com/favorite-senior-joke-book/

Dave

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Hmmmmmm! I'll have a glass of wine and drink to that!

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

This is why it is always important to read the fine print!

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]