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Message 61 of 979

ROMANCE, SENIOR-STYLE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

 

She said: “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”

 

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.

 

A few moments later she said: “Then you use to kiss me.”

 

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.

 

Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck.”

 

Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.

 

“Where are you going?” she asked.

 

“To get my teeth!”

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Message 62 of 979

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 63 of 979

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Message 64 of 979

A bunch of men were sitting around the playing poker.

"I win!" said Johnson.

Henderson threw down his cards, "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"

"How can you tell?" Phillip asked.

"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"

David Eig
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Message 65 of 979

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 66 of 979

24 hr photo changes.jpg

Live For Today, No One is Guaranteed a TOMORROW !
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Message 67 of 979

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful," I said.

"It's lovely," she encouraged.

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

And she said, "Trust me sis, yes you have."

David Eig
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Message 68 of 979

A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief.

After he came home she'd start right in on him again.

After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30.

wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her,

"You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house,

I lost you to him in the card game tonight."

His wife became furious and started to give him hell.

She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?"

He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done...

I had to fold with king hi four aces."

David Eig
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Message 69 of 979

Where Do Dates Grow
Little Johnny Jokes

The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?

Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?

Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?

The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says:

On calendars?

David Eig
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Message 70 of 979

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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