Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

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[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

Good morning everyone on the Front Porch on this 13th of April!

I will drink to that!

[DaveMcK]

Easter is a time of celebration and recognition of the resurrection of our past. It is the biggest time of year for churches to put on special events and make an impression on first-time guests.

A lot goes into celebrating the holiday, even outside of the church. Parents surprise their kids with Easter baskets full of gifts and hide eggs around the yard to be discovered by grabbing hands.

The festivities continue even after church, as families have their own traditions surrounding the pastel-themed day. Check out these students’ favorite moments and memories from their past Easters.

Senior, Hayden Harris said, “Our grandparents would host an Easter egg hunt every year. We would all have baskets and look for eggs around our house. There was a golden egg hidden somewhere and whoever found it was able to swap their basket with anyone else’s. [Because of this rule], I could swap with one of my cousin’s baskets if they had more eggs than me.”

Freshman, Naomi Schaff said, “My grandma used to put money in the eggs or write a number on every hard-boiled egg for us to find. The number on the egg [represented] how much money you received.”

Most memories from students centered around Easter egg hunts they had with their extended families.

“We used to have a special blue egg when we would have Easter egg hunts. It was always the [hardest to find] and whoever found it got to go out on a date with our dad. It would usually have money in it as well,” said sophomore, Mary Mahan.

Looking back on my childhood, my family never put on Easter egg hunts at our home. We would have an annual one at our church, and all of the kids participated. There were three, special eggs that had a number in them, indicating you were one of the winners. Each winner got a huge basket full of candy and toys, and I won one of them one year.

At home though, my parents would put Easter baskets at the bottom of the stairs for me and my sisters to find. It was always a joyous moment to run downstairs to see what was in them.

As we celebrate the return of Normalcy, it’s also a time to look back on memories we had with our family, celebrating the worldly activities that also stem from the holiday".

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

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[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

8 Classic One-liners On Aging From His List

• You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
• Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. Author Unknown
• I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen
• There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer
• You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.” Jerry Seinfeld
• There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P.G. Wodehouse
• It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
• So far, this is the oldest I’ve been. George Carlin

[DaveMcK]

You may have to have been in the Military to get this one!

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

So true!

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE OLD BEFORE YOUR TIME

10)You refer to people your own age as 'kids today'
9)Your high school grad sweater no longer fits your gut
8)You have more hair on your back than on your head
7)You begin stories with the expression 'in my day ...'
6)You have to take naps
5)You don't think that the Rolling Stones are that old ...
4)You have to take so much medication that you're on a first-name basis with all the pharmacy clerks in town
3)You think that Bob Saget is funny
2)Your joints crack so loudly when you get out of bed that France surrendered
1)People your own age call you 'sir' and give you their seat on the bus.

[LydiaN586309]

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[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

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[DaveMcK]