Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

Grandpa O'Malley's Wife Goes Shopping

Grandma Maggie O'Malley was off to Dublin to do her shopping.  'Be careful,' said Mary McGee. Those Dublin stores charge far more than you'd pay here in Sligo. They always double the price. So when you get there only offer them half.''I will,' said Maggie, and indeed she did. 'The green dress in the window,' she said. 'It's priced at £40. That's much too dear!' 'Madam,' said the salesman, 'believe me it is a very reasonable price.''Don't give me that,' said Maggie. 'I know your kind, you're all robbers of the worst kind - I'll give you £20 for the dress.' 'Look, Madam,' said the salesman. 'I don't want a scene. If you calm down, I'll let you have the dress for £20.''In that case,' bellowed Maggie to a gathering crowd, 'I'll give you £10 for it.' 'Madam, please,' begged the salesman, 'I don't want to sully our reputation. If it'll make you go away you can have it for £10.''In that case I'll give you £5,' said Maggie. 'Madam, you're driving me nuts. To get rid of you, please take the dress for nothing.''In that case,' said Maggie, 'I want two! 

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

I only wish I could.......

[LydiaN586309]

Terror Behind the Wheel

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me

[LydiaN586309]

Posted by Me

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

Motivation to Exercise 101

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind. A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat." "But madam," he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!" The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

[LydiaN586309]

Change The Menu

Two elderly ladies meet at the drug store after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Harold died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a potato's for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of baked beans instead."

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

If nothing else, I know I look funny in my underpants!

[DaveMcK]

How time flies!

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

This is my story and I'm stickin' to it!

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]