Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 21 of 682

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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 22 of 682

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 23 of 682

I think we could use a couple of these!

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 24 of 682

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 25 of 682

"Ode to Getting Old"

Just a line to say I'm living, That I'm not among the dead Though I'm getting more forgetful And something's slipping in my head;

I got used to arthritis, To my dentures I'm resigned. I can manage my bifocals, But oh, how much I miss my mind.

For sometimes I cannot remember When I stand atop the stairs, If I must go down for something Or if I've just come up from there.

And before the fridge, so often My mind is filled with nagging doubt. Have I just put food away, or Have I come to take some out.

I called a friend not long ago, When they answered I just moaned. I hung up quickly without speaking, For I'd forgotten who I'd phoned.

And when the darkness falls upon me I stand alone and scratch my head. I don't know if I'm retiring, Or just getting out of bed?

Once I stood in my own bathroom, Wondering if I'd used the pot. I flushed it just in case I had And sat down just in case I'd not.

So, now if it's my turn to write you. There's no need for getting sore It may be that I think I've written And don't need to write no more.

Now I stand beside the mail box With a face so very red Instead of mailing you the letter I have opened it instead.

 

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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 26 of 682

SHE'S THE ONE


A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive after dark!"

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Message 27 of 682

Hard of hearing!

 

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."

 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 28 of 682

Zingy old people humor

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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 29 of 682

Image result for old people funnies"

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Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

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Message 30 of 682

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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