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Aging with Humor
Boy she sure has a sense of humor for an "older lady". Hmm, what does THAT mean? Getting older can sometimes mean finding more funny things in life. After all, "I've paid my dues!" "I've raised my kids." "I want to have fun." Aging and getting older should be fun! Aging should include a fun sense of humor!
Observations on Aging
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! My theory on aging is that I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and many of the roads weren't paved.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is better than being young.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
"There are many theories of aging. My theory is I'm more awesome."
Elderly Man Thinks Fast
An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in the pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man thought for a second and said, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator!'
Moral: Old men can still think fast.
Getting Older Can be Fun - Age with Humor!
As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. They can't remember them either.
I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started......
"I am having amnesia, dementia, and deja vu, all at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before . . ."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
You can't stay young forever. That's just a theory, because you can be immature for your entire life.
I live in my own little world. But it's okay --- they know me here.
Forget health food. I'm at the age where I need all the preservatives I can get. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Older Folks Share Their Views
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
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I want to dedicate this to my wife Mary!
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