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Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

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Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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It's called multi-tasking!

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"I snapped my whipper y-e-a-r-s ago!" ~ Me

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A suttle hint for what she wants for Mother's Day!

 

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Very funny Dave.  Sad but I know a very senior couple who have a 30 something son who will not leave.  Their gentle prodding and mindful hints have proven fruitless.  He won't budge.  Maybe I'll suggest the changing of the locks the next time he goes on vacation.  Smile.

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Arthur is 90 years old. Heโ€™s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. โ€œThatโ€™s it,โ€ he tells his wife. โ€œIโ€™m giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once Iโ€™ve hit the ball, I canโ€™t see where it went.โ€ His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, โ€œWhy donโ€™t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.โ€ โ€œThatโ€™s no good,โ€ sighs Arthur. โ€œYour brotherโ€™s a hundred and three. He canโ€™t help.โ€ โ€œHe may be a hundred and three,โ€ says the wife, โ€œbut his eyesight is perfect.โ€ So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. โ€œDid you see the ball?โ€ โ€œOf course I did!โ€ replies the brother-in-law. โ€œI have perfect eyesight.โ€ โ€œWhere did it go?โ€ asks Arthur. โ€œI donโ€™t remember.โ€

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From AARP BulletinFrom AARP Bulletin Thanks for all the laughs

Happy Sunday 

Ginger  : ) 

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Haha

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Mary  and I growing older together!

 

FB_IMG_1543788307372.jpgFB_IMG_1515368552543.jpgFB_IMG_1539036296711.jpgFB_IMG_1543788556840.jpgMary Door County 002.jpgMary & Dave Jan 1979.jpgFB_IMG_1510592848621.jpgWedding September 3, 1966Wedding September 3, 1966

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Yes, Dave. Yes!  Your photos perfectly show the beauty of growing old together!

 Lydia

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THE BEAUTY OF LOVE

The question is asked: โ€œIs there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?โ€ And the answer is given: โ€œYes, there is a more beautiful thing.

 

โ€œIt is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled but still clasped; their faces are seamed but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired but still strong with love and devotion. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.โ€

 

Written by Anonymous

 

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THE RETIREMENT HOME

 

A man was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked.

 

He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn.  The director said, โ€œYesโ€ and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale.

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