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Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

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A bunch of men were sitting around the playing poker.

"I win!" said Johnson.

Henderson threw down his cards, "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"

"How can you tell?" Phillip asked.

"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"

David Eig
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Little Mary's father was typing away at his home computer, when she sneaked up behind him. Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family,

"I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sister asked eagerly.

Proudly Little Mary replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

David Eig
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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This is as good a place as any for this:

 

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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Newbie

The hot spot of the night oh yes😉

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@DaveMcK  I laughed out loud at number 8.

 

Epster, going off to Google the art of duct taping the Internet ... LOL!

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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@DaveMcK wrote:

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*******************************************************

Oh, Yes.  Yes!  Yeeeeesssssss!!!!

Newbie

Yeeeeza honey Yeeeeza!!!😂

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