Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[LydiaN586309 · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

This is as good a place as any for this:

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

[DaveMcK]

[gloriaj211992]

The hot spot of the night oh yes😉

[DaveMcK]

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[Epster]

@DaveMcK  I laughed out loud at number 8.

Epster, going off to Google the art of duct taping the Internet ... LOL!

[Tempest332]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

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@DaveMcK wrote:

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Oh, Yes.  Yes!  Yeeeeesssssss!!!!

[gloriaj211992]

Yeeeeza honey Yeeeeza!!!😂

[DaveMcK]

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[Kacheri]

Very Cute

[DaveMcK]

[HammH]

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@DaveMcK wrote:

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lol

[DaveMcK]

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[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Married 45 years

After being married for 45 years this month, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty-five years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa-bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But hey I got to sleep every night with a hot 26-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $1,000,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70-year-old woman.  So I said to my wife "it seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.  She told me to go out and find a hot 26-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? 

They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!