Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[LydiaN586309 · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

Good morning!

[DaveMcK]

Wine!

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

Seniors in2019!

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[DaveMcK]

Cartoons!

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[DaveMcK]

Senior 

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[DaveMcK]

Good morning friends!

[DaveMcK]

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus

3. You ARE Santa Claus

4. You LOOK like Santa Claus

 I’m afraid we’re all in that fourth stage of life, aren’t we?

[LydiaN586309]

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@DaveMcK wrote:

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus

3. You ARE Santa Claus

4. You LOOK like Santa Claus

 I’m afraid we’re all in that fourth stage of life, aren’t we?

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Not me!  I look more like the reindeer-- big round body, long gangly legs, and try as i might,  I can't do nothin' with my hair!

[DaveMcK]

Senior retirement planning!

[DaveMcK]

Good Sunday morning!

[LydiaN586309]

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@DaveMcK wrote:

Good Sunday morning!

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Answer:   YES!!!!!

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

Time to dance up a storm!

[DaveMcK]

Good morning to everyone on the Front Porch!

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[LydiaN586309]

Yes, Dave!

That's me and my travel buddy--excited and ready to go, go, go!  If I had a nickname, surely it would be "LEADFOOT!"

[DaveMcK]

As we get old!

[LydiaN586309]

Lemme tell ya, it's NOT the getting down there....it's the "trying" to get back up that's the kicker!  More than once have I found myself down on the floor, struggling to get up, and having to pull myself up like a two year old.  And then there've been times when, after trying several times, I've just rolled over on my back and had a good laugh at my own expense.

Somethin' similar to this!  Smile.

[n566192l]

LydiaN586309

What a wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing this with me

Nancy

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[LydiaN586309]

Too big a laffing.  Too tiny bladder.

[DaveMcK]

Seniors!

[LydiaN586309]

[happysmile13]

YES WISHING

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

SMOKIN’

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

GERT: Holy smoke, What’s that?
MABEL: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.

GERT: Where did you get it?
MABEL: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Gert hobbles into the local drugstore and tells the pharmacist that she needs a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, almost 90 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Gert answers, “Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.”

The pharmacist fainted.