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Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

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HOW TO START A FIGHT!

 

I took my wife to a restaurant.

 

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

 

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

 

He said, “Aren’t you worried about mad cow?”

 

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

 

And that’s how the fight started…

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HOW TO START A FIGHT!

 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

 

I asked her, “Do you know him?”

 

“Yes”, she sighed,

 

“He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”

 

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

 

And that’s how the fight started…

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I LIKE 3!

 

 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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I keep telling Mary we need move to the Blue Lagoon and get away from it all! 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Well, Dave.....

My grandmother made the absolutely best roast chicken in the world!

 

My mother made the best smothered pork chops with whipped potatoes and fried corn.

 

My auntie made the best Thanksgiving Day turkey with cornbread and sausage dressing and sweet potato pone.

 

Okay, okay!  I'll stop here cuz I don't know about you, but just drooled on myself.  Smile.

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Did you know that the oldest Nobel Laureate Prize winner was Leonid Hurwicz at the age of 90? [1] Or that Dorothy Davenhill Hirsch broke a record when she visited the North Pole at the age of 89? [2] Everyday, seniors are challenging the notion that life’s biggest accomplishments are reserved for the young, which gives us inspirational stories for senior citizens to feel empowered and encouraged.

From breaking records to award-winning achievements, older adults are proving that there is truth in the saying, “Age is just a number.” Whether you’re practicing a lifelong hobby or learning something new, your retirement can be the time in your life to make your dreams come true just like these inspirational stories for senior citizens. Below are a few inspirational messages for senior citizens from 5 people who will inspire you to get active and accomplish your goals in retirement!

 

Link: https://www.riddlevillage.com/blog/inspirational-stories-senior-citizens/#iLightbox[gallery27029]/0

 

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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We have all heard about the lock down 15! Now we need to figure out how to drop those extra pounds.

 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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How to Play Golf - "What is your handicap these days?" one golfer asked another. "I'm a scratch golfer I write down all my good scores and scratch out all my bad ones." 

What did you say Huh? - Three retirees, each with a hearing! loss, were playing golf one fine July day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "I'm thirsty too, Let's have a beer." 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Too Many Figurines

A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. The grandmother picked up one of the ducks and then set it down on the middle shelf. She picked up another duck figurine from the bottom shelf and set it beside the first duck. She continued moving the ducks from one shelf to the next.

Finally, she stood back and looked at the cabinet.

"Hmm..." She moved back to the cabinet and began moving the ducks onto the top shelf.

"Grandma," the little girl finally spoke, "what are you doing?"

"I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row," the grandmother answered. -Sally Painter

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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I dedicate this to my Brother-in-law who has Progressive Aphasia!

 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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