Content starts here
CLOSE ×

Search

Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Reply
Honored Social Butterfly

Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
604,524 Views
1474
Report
1 ACCEPTED SOLUTION
Honored Social Butterfly

FB_IMG_1697157641346.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

View solution in original post

62,539 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

101697012_3299569833401251_7013625407605833728_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
13,851 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

susan7_small.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
13,454 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

thug .jpg

Endorsed by the NRA

13,200 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

  1. โ€œI had to wait 110 years to become famous.  I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.โ€  Jeanne Louise Calment  (1875-1997) โ€“ This French woman is the oldest documented living human.
  2. โ€œYou can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.โ€  Woody Allen (1935- )
  3. โ€œToo many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar.โ€ John Glenn (1921-)  The oldest person to board a U.S. Space Shuttle at age 77.
Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
13,181 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

46f1e482a9d298d872d3721e823fcd70.jpg

13,152 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

unnamed.jpg

13,086 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

images.jpg

13,018 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

unnamed (1).jpg

13,106 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

susan6_small.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,986 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

104080831_10158788831531929_4647251932892523336_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0
Kudos
2795
Views
13,009 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

3e301e82ee84a4c204bc0c52d9570b70.jpg

12,857 Views
3
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

spectickles-2016-6-13.jpg

12,806 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

female.jpg

12,524 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

older.jpg

12,628 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

f5f7f759-57d1-46a6-9d6f-d8ff2c63b799.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,507 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

103284789_10222290435719184_3602035143783653711_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,611 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

199fea75-5d2d-4f01-b7be-3b9ab7f01750.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0
Kudos
2962
Views
12,662 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

OIP6MIOK7A2.jpg

12,705 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

101556213_3192040997483269_5315650245076451328_n.png

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,834 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Aunty Acid 00031.jpg

12,706 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

old.jpg

12,850 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

8c483420-b7b5-4ada-a247-ed50ecc24bd1.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
13,043 Views
0
Report
Bronze Conversationalist

A rough quote from George Burns (1896-1996) when he was about 98: "It's been a good life, so far. I hope the second half is just as good."

 

 

Stay well and enjoy!

12,996 Views
0
Report
Bronze Conversationalist

Rich Man trying to get into Heaven

I paraphrased this joke as I remember it from Morey Amsterdam (1908-1996). I know it was on a TV appearance, probably in the '60s or '70s, but I donโ€™t remember which TV show he was on at the time.

 

***

A rich man died and went to heaven. He pounded on the Pearly Gates and hollered out, โ€œSt. Peter, let me in! Iโ€™m a rich man and I can buy anything in the place!โ€

 

St. Peter approached the man, and asked, โ€œSo, youโ€™re a rich man, huh? What did you ever do with all your millions while you were down there on Earth?โ€

 

โ€œI gave a dollar to a charity, once.โ€

 

St. Peter turned to Gabriel, and asked, โ€œIs that in the book?โ€

 

Gabriel looked in the Book of Life, and said, โ€œYes, thatโ€™s in here - 1 dollar to a charity.โ€

 

St. Peter turned back to the man, and asked, โ€œWhat else did you do with all that money?โ€

 

โ€œWell, a few years ago, while we were driving through a snow storm, I had my chauffeur pull over in front of an old lady in tattered clothing standing on the sidewalk. I rolled down my window and gave her a dollar to go buy herself something to help keep her warm.โ€

 

St. Peter turned to Gabriel, and asked, โ€œIs that in the book, too?โ€

 

Gabriel looked in the book, and said, โ€œYes, thatโ€™s in here, right next to the other one.โ€

 

St. Peter asked, โ€œGabe! What do you think we should do with him?โ€

 

Gabriel looked at the man, then looked back in the book, and then at St. Peter. โ€œWhy donโ€™t we give him back his 2 dollars and tell him to go to Hell?โ€

 

Stay well and enjoy!

12,969 Views
0
Report
Regular Social Butterfly

DNA  after 25 yrs.jpg

Live For Today, No One is Guaranteed a TOMORROW !
12,970 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

f73ccc8e-d0da-42b2-9570-78ba06bb1a00.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,896 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

old-age-retirement-aging-retire-retirees-senior_citizens-pensioners-dcrn884_low.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,979 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

18582586_1900384993506539_1388099684971582057_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,873 Views
2
Report
Regular Social Butterfly

I guess you just have to be Norwegian to get this one. Ha Ha.

Disclaimer: This comment is NOT intended to promote racism/anti-immigrants/bigotry/isolationism. But, it is intended to raise awareness to the speech/listener problem and the Official Language.debate.

0 Kudos
12,673 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

765db11ddc5c5e9bd502438004c94ed6.jpg

12,552 Views
0
Report
cancel
Showing results forย 
Showย ย onlyย  | Search instead forย 
Did you mean:ย 
Users
Need to Know

NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Atari Breakoutยฎ and you could win $100! Learn More.

AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays

More From AARP