Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

We have all heard about the lock down 15! Now we need to figure out how to drop those extra pounds.

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

How to Play Golf - "What is your handicap these days?" one golfer asked another. "I'm a scratch golfer I write down all my good scores and scratch out all my bad ones." 

What did you say Huh? - Three retirees, each with a hearing! loss, were playing golf one fine July day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "I'm thirsty too, Let's have a beer." 

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Too Many Figurines

A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. The grandmother picked up one of the ducks and then set it down on the middle shelf. She picked up another duck figurine from the bottom shelf and set it beside the first duck. She continued moving the ducks from one shelf to the next.

Finally, she stood back and looked at the cabinet.

"Hmm..." She moved back to the cabinet and began moving the ducks onto the top shelf.

"Grandma," the little girl finally spoke, "what are you doing?"

"I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row," the grandmother answered. -Sally Painter

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

I dedicate this to my Brother-in-law who has Progressive Aphasia!

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

I'M OLD,

BUT NOT SLOWED!

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

Endorsed by the NRA

[DaveMcK]

1. “I had to wait 110 years to become famous.  I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.”  Jeanne Louise Calment  (1875-1997) – This French woman is the oldest documented living human.
2. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”  Woody Allen (1935- )
3. “Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar.” John Glenn (1921-)  The oldest person to board a U.S. Space Shuttle at age 77.

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]